Sunday Stealing! & life changes

Posted: January 20, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

I got a mail from Mr. Lance of Sunday Stealing…for this. Then got a pingback from Dayle Fraschilla who took up the meme here. :) Thanks! :)
This reminded me of how it was taking memes. Making friends on this blog. Over time, my blogging frequency has come down. I don’t even remember what was the last meme I did. I do read most of my favourite blogs but don’t leave comments like I used to. Pity that I don’t even seem to rant as much or share anything… wondering why?!I am tempted to retake the same meme at least some of the questions, just to see if life has changed?! Nah!!! Life definitely has changed since this. Been two years!! I have changed jobs (I didn’t have one then!), A is 2 years older. I am 2 years older & wiser ;) (ok…that I probably never will be). I guess I don’t trust people like I used to.( well still not too good at this yet! Needs more work). I also need to learn how to tell people exactly what to do to themselves when they comment on my life choices. I am always up for a debate but not ready to hear judgemental comments on anything which includes topics like who I spend time with, what I wear, how I must raise my kid, spend my money etc…
I have changed my mobile quite a few times since ;) (yeah…I like gadgets, make the effort to save money to buy them so people who comment on this habit…here goes – my money, my wish). In fact I have also changed my car, dress sizes (up and down and up…). This is as far as material things go.
Oh how can I forget?!?! I am officially legally single. Ok…in Chennai I am a divorcee. I have a globally acceptable document that says this!!  Thanks to my divorce happening in NY, USA and me living here in India; trying to get a passport without the name of the spouse on it (yeah…you can get a person’s entire life story if possible from Indian passports), I had to learn what an Apostille document is. I had to even educate a few officers in the passport office here.
I thought I have come a long way when it comes to battling depression since Feb 2009. This was yesterday. Today I am not so sure. I have to be honest here, I still battle with thoughts of suicide, sending A to his father & just disappearing hoping to make people happier at least then. Crux is I don’t think I have won that battle or am I even close to it when it comes to depression :( Have my ups and downs…
As usual my thoughts are all over the place. Well I am living up to being the ruminator…I have to stop ruminating I suppose :D.
The tagging at least has given me an excuse to scribble here…
Here is to hoping that this year is better for me and those few readers I still have or any of those new ones who happen to accidentally find their way here (that is some optimism from some one like me who prides in being a pessimist in capital bold letters :) )

Comments
  1. Dayle Lynne says:

    I get the blogging dips! I sometimes go a long while between posts, but have recently committed to writing a blog post a day for the entire year! Yikes!

    Congrats on the official divorce! I almost framed my divorce papers! :P

    As for the depression . . . I can relate. I battle mostly with anxiety and self-injury, but also with depression. I may not know you, but I can say with complete confidence that you are worth keeping around! {hugs} to you!

    • Apar says:

      Thanks DL! And no way!! a post every day!!! whoa!!! It will become a crib fest here then :( :). Though yeah, I do resolve to write more often.
      I am not on meds for depression but I think I have to at times!! Don’t know where life is taking me….but am on the roller-coaster sometimes wishing I jump out.

  2. Well I’m glad you made it on over to my blog to comment because I love to comment back and it’s how I keep tabs of all the blogs I read. I love memes. I do them every Thursday even though I steal them from Sunday Stealing. Totally fun.

  3. anonymous says:

    Hey hang in there. Why would you want to give up your child to a jerk? Just keep faith and good things will hapen to you as A starts growing up :)
    Cheers!

    • Apar says:

      Thank you!! Thing is I don’t see A’s father as a jerk. I wish I knew what his side of the story is! While we all were together, he was lauded for being such a great father! Wonder where that father is for my A?!?!
      I don’t know about good things happening to me. A will sure grow up. I just hope am done with bad things in life!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s