Time. Precious?
Posted: March 26, 2013 Filed under: behaviour, India, opinion, parent, Uncategorized | Tags: commitment, kids, parenting, punctuality, time Leave a comment »A is going for his summer coaching. He has chosen cricket. I know it is just spring tune as per the calendar 
. These coaching classes started yesterday and go on till mid-April. Starts at 5:30am IST.
Yesterday I saw parents bringing their kids in even a little after 6!!!! I thought maybe because it was the first day people were taking it easy. It continues today. I remember it was the case last year too.
This has got me thinking. I have been embarrassed many times when it has been pointed out that punctuality is not a part of the Indian psyche. I have even argued that it cannot be generalised. That said, in all honesty, we Indians are lackadaisical when it comes to keeping time. It is ok to make someone wait. I think I have written about how wedding receptions never start on time & people actually were surprised about my ignorance of this fact!! The invitation says 7PM means it will probably start at 8PM if we are lucky!!
It is weird that the same set of people cannot wait a few seconds at the traffic signal. People honk, start moving even before the light turns green. The don’t stop when the light turns red. All because if they stop, they will waste those precious minutes!!!! (Guess traffic etiquette is a whole different blog post).
So when and how will our kids learn the virtue of punctuality? Do I say the kids had not woken up to get here on time or do I say the parents didn’t enforce the same? I can understand if it is a stray one or 2 kids coming in late (something must have held things up! ) I find it is a whole bunch of kids!!!
Since parents are not allowed to watch the kids at the camp, I do not know if the teachers there reiterate the importance if being on time. I sure hope they do.
Having been brought up with this fact drilled into my head; I find it hard to accept the nonchalance in general. To my grand dad or mother, 5:30 is that on dot. Be early but never late. Respect the other person’s time. Make the effort. These are what had been told to me.
In the case of this camp, the kids have been enrolled because they want to ( or the parents want them to ). Either way , shouldn’t the effort be taken to just show up on time?!?!
I am sure there still will be kids coming in late day after day till the end of the camp. Just wish they show some commitment in getting to the school on time!! Teach them young we are told!
3 months since last post..
Posted: August 19, 2012 Filed under: analysis?, emotions, India, life | Tags: honest answer, insane thoughts, working mothers 7 Comments »What has changed? Well, I don’t seem to have time for anything at all. Not even to read my favourite blogs let alone penning my insane thoughts here. Don’t seem to spend any time with A either. What have I been doing then??
Settling down into my job. Getting used to the schedule, the people. Have I? Honest answer – No. The pluses so far: Found a few friends- Wonderful folks. Realised how important the time I spend with A is. Learnt that it is only I who has to change. Society remains and will remain the same!!!
I must say that A has been wonderful. Touchwood. He has been a good student, coping with seeing me only for the hour in the morning when I send him off to school and the weekends. Guess it is me who feels guilty. I feel like I am not being responsible especially when he has only me! My inability to cope makes me snap at him, the one person I really love. He still comes with his cute little smile and hugs me!
I must have done something good sometime to deserve this love from my kid!!!
I am now wondering (guess like all working mothers in the world) if a career is worth it or the time you spend with your kid. Being the Libra I am, weighing the pros & cons a lot!! Don’t know & confused…
A few things I do want people to know: that, just because you break down into tears/are emotional does not mean you are not strong or that you don’t have reason! Just because you have not decided on an objective & can’t say what it is does not mean you are not focused. It is not like one does not change course in life. Lucky are those who have stuck to what they wanted and got there. I am not that lucky. I have had to change so many times, that now I just go as life goes. Make the best of what is put forth to me & avoid the depression due to disappointment if I have to change once more if I decide on a path. No iron-clad guarantee that I would be able to get what I want….thing is I didn’t change paths because I gave up; I had to change because of circumstances.
Wondering now as to when I can actually share a happy post to those few who still take the time to read my ruminations!!! Wonder when I will actually find my niche – I am told I am old & should know what I want or have to do. I don’t.
I just know I don’t want to fall into depression. I don’t want to think of leaving/disappearing & abandoning my son. I must confess that I am not being so successful! 
Guess I need a break – not from blogging 
I am a divorcee!
Posted: May 20, 2012 Filed under: acceptability, analysis?, behaviour, divorce, emotions, hurt, India | Tags: divorce, frustration, Lie, rant 15 Comments »Yes I am a divorcee… I am not proud of it or anything. It is just a fact. I don’t know why I must hide or be ashamed of that? It happened…and here I am. I have my life ahead of me. It did not end there, did it?
Why must people “advise” me to not divulge this? It is not like I have committed murder, I am not a paedophile or any such thing to be secretive about this. The number of people who said…you are going to a new job…Don’t tell anyone that you are divorced. Just say that your husband is abroad!!
What is the reasoning behind this?! Should I be ashamed that I could not make my marriage work? That I am a single mother who has resorted to living with her parents?
I feel that those guys who assume that since I am a divorcee, I will be ready for flings & hit on me shamlessly should be the ones who must follow restraint. Those who box me into some stereo-type…
Why can’t I just let be? Why must I lie? Sick & tired…these are really the things that pain me about my divorce…. Grow up all!!
My woes with a service provider
Posted: December 22, 2011 Filed under: India, learning, life, opinion | Tags: address, Airtel, anger, Apple, behaviour, broadband, chennai, city, correction, customer service, despair, fixed line, frustration, iPhone4S, Kanchipuram, Madrasi, microSIM, mobile, rant 9 Comments »I write here after so many months only to rant! Sorry …but I have had it till here (wherever that is ) with a certain network that says one needs every kind of friend. Seriously to deal with them, one does need every friend!!!
I must say I have been battling with a few issues for quite some time now…say almost since I stopped posting here. Currently have 2 issues running.
Let me start with the older one. I have my broadband service from this network. Till sometime now, I have been living in the city :Chennai. Suddenly the network decides that I live in Kanchipuram. According to them, my pin code(zip) falls into Kanchipuram. Been hitting my head against brick walls saying the city is Chennai, may be the district is Kanchipuram. I guess all this struggle started around September?! Anyways, long story cut short – I have been getting etiquette lessons about how I must speak even if I am the frustrated paying customer who gets no resolution to the issue (though after every phone call, get a text message saying issue resolved!!!)
Point to note: One phone call I received enquiring about this from the network. The guy asks me to explain everything!! I asked if they every maintained any logs of calls!!! Frustration mounts if you have to explain each time about the issue & the history! I asked him sarcastically if Kanchipuram was Chennai. He goes I don’t know I am from Gurgaon. Told him don’t care if he were from Timbuctoo but I needed the correction done on my bill (which can be produced as proof of address for any official purpose). He does not even bother to cover up he tells his colleague in Hindi that I speak too much! I responded back in Hindi saying anyone would if they went through what I do to get my address right! He continues to his colleague “yeh madrasi hindi janti hai!”. Limits! And these people teach us phone etiquette!!!!
After calling, mailing, tweeting; I have given up. So according to my broadband provider the city on my address should read “Kanchipuram” - a town I probably have visited twice in my lifetime so far!!
My second issue. I got a gift of an iPhone4S (yay!!). Well not so fast to celebrate. To use it, I need a microSIM card. I call the relationship manager of the network that I deal with at work and ask him. He said he would get it to me that day… which went on for more than a week. I gave up, went to a private mobile store; got my old (one I used since 2008) SIM card laser cut. I call the network to make changes to start using 3G.
10 December: I get a call congratulating me on my phone. Tell me about plans for my usage. Then when I said the network drops, am told the issue is with the card and I would receive a brand new one by Tuesday that week. She would also call me on Wednesday to follow up and find out if it worked fine?!
14 December: Evening after waiting, not receiving card nor call, I call them. They say they tried to reach me and I was unreachable. They tried once. I had given them an alternate mobile number which also uses the same network!!
15/16 December: They call me once each day while I was entering a meeting or was in one. I tell them a time to call, I never get the call.
Fast-forward to 20th: Still no microSIM from the network. I call. They had closed the previous call and start a new one.
No calls from them… 21st I try cust care from my iPhone. I cannot reach them at all.I use my other mobile, tell them this…they assure me I will get a call back in 15 minutes around 4:20 PM.
22 December: 10:30AM no calls. I call using my other line, to be assured I will get a call back in a few minutes (I must have asked what their few minutes was specifically!) Around 4- 4:30Pm, lo behold I can call from my iPhone4S. I ask what happened. There are no records of calls made on 21st & 22nd!! The whole process of issue/history starts! I lost it. Told them I have lost hope that I would ever receive a microSIM from them, not now, not in this century or even next!
Supposedly I was told that my network drops because of faulty old SIM card but I cannot get it replaced. So, do I suffer with the faulty network stuck with “amazing” customer service (btw, I am told by the mechanical voice when I call customer service that I am welcome to their Platinum service!!!).
I am sure that they would have “resolved” the issue according to them. I am stuck with lousy network services which will be blamed on my SIM card making me wonder why I ever got a phone like this (which by the way is a pleasure to use!!)
In conversation with a friend, we were saying may be we must stop paying our bills and then may be they will call us!?!?! If we as prompt paying customers get this service, GOK what others are provided with?!?!
I must say one thing these people have made me do is get back to writing on the blog! Wish it were on a happier note and not such a rant!
Navarathri
Posted: September 28, 2011 Filed under: India, learning, tradition | Tags: dusshera, festival, India, kolu, south, tradition 6 Comments »This is my third post of the same title!! Trivia…
This made me look at what I had written earlier & when… 2007 & 2008. 2007 I have written about going back & following the tradition (don’t know if I have to laugh or cry at reading this!). 2008 just a wikipedia like note with pics taken from kolu at home. Then 2 years missing & this now!!
Got no new dolls this year…yet. Think I got a proper Bengali Durga doll the last 2 years when I had not posted. Mum tells me that I had asked for a similar doll better looking one ages ago – but was expensive & we could not afford it then. I like this doll too.
Every year, as we keep the dolls on the steps, we reminisce about how we got the doll. Other conversation invariably revolves around how the quality of the dolls are not up to the mark. I can actually see that here… the dolls we have inherited from my great grandparents look so good even after all these years, but those we got recently are broken, faded. It feels like the artisans of yore actually took pleasure doing the dolls while the newer ones are more of a commercial venture?! Or is it just my random thought?
This year, one small doll is missing (we are in the process of finding out where she is gone…) It is Ganga in the Bhaghirath story of bringing her on to earth! Aside we are laughing at how even he cannot do that now if he tried & may be it is symbolical that Ganga is missing The weird conversations we have at home!!!! It is coincidental that in the 2008 post, one of the pictures is of the same set!!! So, we have her at least on that
I noticed some broken dolls. Was wondering if we discard them… and lo behold Mum & I had a debate ( been a while since we even spoke to each other – we used to have so many of these nice debates – not fights/arguments…but debates ) She quoted “maha periyaval” saying He said that something to the tune of do we throw away old people if their limbs are broken or don’t function. My view was…hey these are dolls, we need to recycle. If they are broken, replace them…gives a boost to the artists when you buy, keeps commerce going. This got the response – well look at the dolls these days! Guess what in the end, I did succumb and decided to mend the mendable old dolls with quickfix cos they still look good. Even the paint of the old dolls look good!! What did they do – use vegetable paint I suppose?!
Anyways it was one “ok” day. With some work done, debates (& some arguments) – the kolu is up…hope to improve on it the next few days , may be go against my parents get a new doll or 2 or 3 …(and of course find Ganga ). Must start calling friends and asking them to come over for the “vethalapaaku” . I keep saying I don’t believe in God & I do all this just cos this has been done all these years. I don’t want to influence my son with my views! He has to form his own ones… lets see!!
Happy Navarathri to one and all!
technology & me…
Posted: July 17, 2011 Filed under: friends, India, questions | Tags: chip, credit card, iPad, technology 5 Comments »I just read a post on iPads & pre-schoolers. I have not yielded to get an iPad or Kindle – 1. I love good old fashioned books rather than e-books & 2. economic reasons too though am sure A would love to lay his hands on an iPad!!
I opened WordPress to write a post on technology & well stumbled on the iPads post which made me jump on to that. So before I digress…here goes what originally brought me to post. I went shopping at a shop abroad recently. I told my friend I didn’t need to take cash from him as I had my credit cards. Thank God for plastic!! I chose what I wanted, go to the counter and guess what? The cards I had could not be used! The shop required me to have cards with chips on them. I had none of those! I had plastic that could be used internationally but none with chips! I was stuck asking my friend to swipe for my purchases. I was struck by technology…was told that most shops there used only the chip & pin. Totally understand that- forgery & hence credit-card misuse can be reduced.
Made me wonder why so much of the technology takes time entering India?! Passports that can be swiped to retrieve info at check-in or like my recent shopping experience…cards with chips?! Even cash back on debit cards at shops are not viable ( a minimum limit needs to be spent to use a charge card). We need to take cash out only at ATMs. New model mobiles or computers come later to the country. No wonder people still are enamoured by the thought of being abroad, stuff that is imported. We often do hear how locally available products even international brands are not the same as the ones we get abroad – starting from cleaning products to hi-tech stuff. Why is it so? A country where electronic voting machines are taken to even the remotest villages…supposedly a country that embraces technology despite illiteracy, poverty etc.. why must we wait for quality technology? Perhaps this is a way to reduce scams?
Whatever it is…it prompted me to pen this down. Frustrated that we are behind, frustrated that I had to ask my friend to help out (hate asking monetary help from friends). Well…for a person who does not like to shop much…it didn’t help at all is what I can say
What we input into children!?
Posted: March 6, 2011 Filed under: analysis?, India, learning, life, opinion, parent, questions | Tags: caste, Christian, differentiation, diversity, Hindu, religion 1 Comment »A & I were driving down, passing by a church. Traffic was heavy. A read out the board of the church. I told him that is where a friend of ours goes. Something made me add that the friend was a Christian followed by the question, “what are you?”. Obviously I expected the answer, “Amma I am Hindu” but the answer that came threw me off. It made me start thinking of what we input into children. He answered “I am Indian.” Yes, logistically a wrong answer, him being American by citizenship…still growing up here, he is more Indian than many I know really!
Back to what I was posting about. I, as a kid, did not know about the caste system until I actually had to put it on some form in school. I went asking my mother who had to explain about this. This was when I was in middle school.
Aspects that have now become a divisive factor, a point on which vote banks are on – religion, caste are something children are not aware of. Are we thrusting it on them? Is it necessary!? Would it make a world of difference if we did not have these in life? Yes, lets say that there is God – but why should that make us a Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim or Jain or whatever else there is?!?!
I did not tell A that he was Hindu. I am sure he will know when his “identity” …just wondering if such divisiveness is required. Won’t we all be more at peace without these categories?!?
It is just a stupid thought that came to my idle mind! 
As a parent though, it was a moment!!
Irresponsibility!!!!
Posted: December 9, 2010 Filed under: behaviour, India, life, opinion | Tags: accident, bike, chennai, helmet, lorry, news, rant, recklessness, responsibility, riding, road, safety, traffic, truck, two-wheeler 4 Comments »Rant alert!!!!
This morning as I was getting ready for work, the TV was tuned into a regional news telecast. The news item was about a road accident. A truck (lorry here) had struck a family on a two-wheeler. The father and infant (4 months old) were in serious condition. The mother and the other kid (2.5 years old) died.
I felt sorry for the family…yes. Though what went through my mind and what made me write about this is “who really was responsible for this accident?” I don’t generally swear, but trust me when one drives in the roads of Chennai; even the most gentle person would be swearing! Driving, the roads, utter lack of acknowledgement to rules is pathetic to say the least. This is not about all that though. What hits one in the face is the lack of value for human life. No one bothers!
Two-wheelers – they are easy to buy, easy to use and in the city traffic – weaving in & out gives a fast means to travel. No doubt! Wearing a helmet is (or is my usage of tense wrong here and should it be “was”) mandatory. Very few actually wear one! It is weird to actually see people amused when I used to make A wear his the last 2.5 years that I have been riding on a bike here and taking him along. It supposedly is quite a sight to see a kid wear a helmet!!! Doesn’t that alone show how pathetic the value of human life is?! Or are we all born with hard heads?!!
Why do I feel so strongly that the truck driver alone is not to blame?! He might be speeding and that is wrong. Deaths occured. Why did a family of 4 travel on a two-wheeler? I am very sure that the woman on the pillion, the toddler nor the infant sported helmets. The man might have (a very slim possibility) worn one. The woman would have sat with both legs to one side (supposedly lady- like) holding the infant. The 2.5 year old must have been in front of the father who was riding. Why am I so sure this would have been the case? This is quite a common site all across the city! So, say the truck is travelling at a permissible speed, the father with 3 others precariously perched on the bike comes in front… what happens? Of course an accident! The guy cannot manoeuver his bike with all. The truck driver, even if he had applied the brakes, cannot make his vehicle stop in an instant! Is it right that the truck driver takes the blame cos he drives a bigger vehicle? cos truck drivers are stereo-typed to be rash in their driving?
I do not say that truck drivers here are saints. Their driving would take a whole new post or many!! I just want to say that people must take their safety into consideration. Wear helmets. I know all cannot afford a car or hire an auto (tuk-tuk). Why not use the public transport? The buses are subsidised, safer (to an extent, certainly more than loading on to a two-wheeler). It might be an inconvenience to start early to take into account the unreliability of the timings of buses but it definitely scores over losing one’s life!
Hope this incident is a wake up call to the police officials here to enforce stricter rules especially when it comes to the safety of children. Child seats in cars are not mandatory. They can sit in the front seat in a car. None of them wear helmets (those that are made to wear one are looked upon as exhibit pieces!!) Child safety on the roads of Chennai again would be another long rant post….
Enough of blaming the truck driver alone for irresponsible driving , blame the family for being irresponsible. I sympathise for their losses; but I cannot for once say they are not at fault!!!
Update(s)
Posted: June 14, 2010 Filed under: emotions, India, life 18 Comments »I tweeted that I was taking steps for ending something I started 9.5 years ago. Will explain in detail when things are through -when they are over and done with. Fingers crossed that they go well.
Yes, I am still alive much to the chagrin of quite a few people I suppose I have learned how some people can never change, whatever the number of chances one is given! Some things never change… eg., I am unlucky as ever , Customer Service in India sucks big time
This is a very random post! What would your reaction be if someone called you out of the blue… a complete stranger and says I have to get money from 5 people with your name & initial to get my daughter married – “Mangalya pitchai” or begging for a donation towards the wedding. Such a call came to my dad. The guy who is 78 years old asked my father saying I have to get 2000 INR from 5 people with RR as name. I got your number from the white pages! Gives his account number! My father actually went, found he has 507 INR in his account and transferred 2000! I mean call me a sceptic but this seems to be a nice way to con people. Feed on their superstitions/beliefs and milk them for some money too! For all you know, the case might be genuine, still as I said I cannot get over the fact that money was needed!
Anyways, I don’t know why I wrote this post up! Just wanted to get it out of my system I suppose. I don’t feel relieved. I am not really at peace. I told Aaarti that it feels like I am like Cam Diaz in The Holiday – I don’t feel like crying really but want to let it out too. Just wish everything was over and done with! I have nothing to move on to, but I am just hoping for some closure!
We won!!!
Posted: April 3, 2010 Filed under: friends, fun, India, life | Tags: chennai, cricket, CSK, EPL, football, IPL, list, live, RR, sport, stadium, win 10 Comments »Rather the team A was routing for won It was an amazing evening. Last minute plans, A, Aaarti & I ended up having tickets to the Chennai Super Kings Vs Rajasthan Royals match in DLF IPL T20.
This is the first ever cricket match I watched in the stadium. I used to vacillate between wanting to watch it live there and on TV. Never got the opportunity to do the former; so ended up saying…hey! it would be way better to watch it on TV with all the angles etc.., Lets just say that it was the case of sour grapes!
The experience watching the match live in the stadium was amazing!! The adrenalin rush. It was so clear who the audience was supporting. We are from Chennai Though I must say, there was polite applause for achievements by the other team (ok…may be few RR supporters were there! )
We won!!! though there was a point where it was possible for Rajasthan Royals to make it. We were wondering what is wrong with Chennai super kings who could not defend the highest total made in DLF IPL effectively. As in taking it to the last over!!
Having said all this, I must add, the “security” was not that effective. We were not to take cameras, water bottles, outside supporting merchandise….but saw all of it all over the place. I had upset A by not getting flags! Pacified him by begging for one from a neighbour!
Next the tickets! Must have been first…well… anyways… Paid double the cost. Then a bloke comes and says hey let me in, you can take A in without a ticket. Thinking he would pay up…he gets inside, pays less than half of the actual ticket price!!! I think he must have seen me coming right from when I started from home!!!!! The rest room facilities – stinker worth not mentioning (I guess public sanitation in India would be a separate post – rather…let’s just leave it there!)
A did enjoy himself. His star Dhoni (who by the way scored a duck) won according to him! Had to teach him that CSK won not Dhoni!! On mentioning my offspring, I must say that it was coincidence that whenever he asked us to get him something and either Aaarti or I stepped out, RR lost a wicket. It was noticed so much, that the lady in front of us actually turned around and asked him to demand for something from us to make us leave at the fag end of the game!!! LOL!!
This is one memory I will cherish. Have quite a list I have to check off on. As of now, one down – Watch cricket match live sitting in the stadium
Hope to plan going to the stadium next time around, get good seats with no hassles and of course not getting ripped off and re-ripped off!!!
PS: I texted Vishesh asking for scores for the Barclays EPL as Man U were playing Chelsea and Arsenal against the Wolves. He did not respond Just got home and checked the scores. Wanted ManU- Chelsea draw! Chelsea won!!
