Time. Precious?
Posted: March 26, 2013 Filed under: behaviour, India, opinion, parent, Uncategorized | Tags: commitment, kids, parenting, punctuality, time Leave a comment »A is going for his summer coaching. He has chosen cricket. I know it is just spring tune as per the calendar 
. These coaching classes started yesterday and go on till mid-April. Starts at 5:30am IST.
Yesterday I saw parents bringing their kids in even a little after 6!!!! I thought maybe because it was the first day people were taking it easy. It continues today. I remember it was the case last year too.
This has got me thinking. I have been embarrassed many times when it has been pointed out that punctuality is not a part of the Indian psyche. I have even argued that it cannot be generalised. That said, in all honesty, we Indians are lackadaisical when it comes to keeping time. It is ok to make someone wait. I think I have written about how wedding receptions never start on time & people actually were surprised about my ignorance of this fact!! The invitation says 7PM means it will probably start at 8PM if we are lucky!!
It is weird that the same set of people cannot wait a few seconds at the traffic signal. People honk, start moving even before the light turns green. The don’t stop when the light turns red. All because if they stop, they will waste those precious minutes!!!! (Guess traffic etiquette is a whole different blog post).
So when and how will our kids learn the virtue of punctuality? Do I say the kids had not woken up to get here on time or do I say the parents didn’t enforce the same? I can understand if it is a stray one or 2 kids coming in late (something must have held things up! ) I find it is a whole bunch of kids!!!
Since parents are not allowed to watch the kids at the camp, I do not know if the teachers there reiterate the importance if being on time. I sure hope they do.
Having been brought up with this fact drilled into my head; I find it hard to accept the nonchalance in general. To my grand dad or mother, 5:30 is that on dot. Be early but never late. Respect the other person’s time. Make the effort. These are what had been told to me.
In the case of this camp, the kids have been enrolled because they want to ( or the parents want them to ). Either way , shouldn’t the effort be taken to just show up on time?!?!
I am sure there still will be kids coming in late day after day till the end of the camp. Just wish they show some commitment in getting to the school on time!! Teach them young we are told!
Why oh why?!
Posted: March 7, 2013 Filed under: analysis?, opinion | Tags: equality, men's day, need, oppression, relevance, respect, woman, women's day 2 Comments »I was going from one channel to another on the radio. Sick of ads saying – special for International Women’s day!! Do we really need one in this day and age? If so, why & where?
UN.org says this for why women’s day… Impatient optimists at Bill & Melinda Gates foundation say this on why still?
Yes, I understand there are many places where uplifting of women is needed. No arguments there at all.
Me personally, I don’t want a special day. I want to just be treated on par. I seriously do not want a women’s bank as proposed by the FM in the budget. My reaction was like for what joy?! I do not want special quotas anywhere. I must get something because I am worthy of that. I want to prove myself for the skills & knowledge I have. Not because I am a woman! If I apply for a ration card, and am posed a question “who is the head of the family?”; if I respond saying that I am….I want the guy there to accept it – not retort asking who my father is or husband is!!!! I am not an object of sex to be gaped at, but a fellow human being to be seen at with respect that I would proffer to the other.
Don’t get me wrong….on a lighter note, yes I want someone special to treat me as someone special 
not just on this day…but every day!!! Just waiting for that someone who will treat me as an equal and consider me special
I find that people are making this a huge joke!! Special offers, discounts, contests, walks, special messages to the special women, remembering women who have excelled in their fields. Excuse me…if we are special on this day, we are special everyday!! Those women who are achievers need to be acknowledged all the time; not just on this particular day. Alright, let all this be done…how much of the proceeds made through these sales actually go to say save a girl child from being aborted/murdered?!
I know it might sound like blasphemy but I do not support celebrating womanhood on one particular day. Do we stop being women on other days?!
I want a society where it is no big deal for a woman to walk into a pharmacy, with men around or not…and ask for a sanitary napkin without being embarrassed. Why even ask for a condom (ok…I know considering the circumstances here in India that is a stretch for now! ). Isn’t having periods a part of being a woman?! Why whisper?!?!
We have come far in terms of equality for women and oppression. Voting, Representation, leadership, education. I know we have a long way to go to be really equal (may be when it is not considered blasphemy when I say let the guy take on the girl’s name and vice versa…after all they are getting married to each other! )
I wish people understand the significance of the day than make it so commercial that it actually loses its value.
Think I have ranted enough! 
Do let me know how many share my views. Am open to hearing opposing views too….
PS: I found that international men’s day is on November 19th! How many knew that?!?!
Conflicting…
Posted: March 1, 2013 Filed under: analysis?, learning, life, opinion, questions | Tags: conflict, dissatisfaction, maturity, proverb, satisfaction, understanding, wonder 5 Comments »How many of us have been told …hey look and learn from that person? How much has he/she scored in some test or look at how well she/he does things? Keeping up with the Joneses has been a concept everywhere. Some time or other, we certainly have been told to be better. Look at people who are better to strive to be that way. We have been tuned to want better stuff in life. Appraisal time at work, ratings amongst peer group – obviously we all want to be above peer group. Everywhere we have to do more than we did or someone else did.
Now where is the conflict?
I am talking only about how the situation is with me. I do wonder if it is the same with others out there. When I feel down & think of my life – am told hey look, there is this person who is struggling to just get a meal a day. There is that person desperate to have a child. Count your blessings. You have a job, a kid, a roof above your head, etc etc….
So, when at that time I snap and say why must I not want more. Why must I not want a proper family (as in a dad for my child)? A house I own? or a job where I learn, improve & earn? I am told I am insensitive.
My question is when do have to stop wanting to be better? When should one stop trying and disregard the try, try till you succeed saying?
Even all those proverbs are conflicting…one can use whatever depending on which side they want to speak on
Knowledge is power vs. Ignorance is bliss
Absence makes the heart grow fonder vs. Out of sight, out of mind
Nothing ventured, nothing gained vs. Better safe than sorry….
The list goes on.
Do I keep thinking that life will get better? Or do I just say, fine I am blessed to be alive & accept the way things are?
Guess the cliché ”time will tell” is what I will be told. I guess it will be way too late & my life will be over when time does tell….I do think that my life is already over when I hear of how I must be just satisfied with what I am blessed with!! Wonder if I ever will be wise/mature enough to understand when I must want to strive to be better & when I must sit back/ relax?!
Who’s responsible?!
Posted: February 19, 2013 Filed under: analysis?, behaviour, emotions, learning, life, opinion, Uncategorized | Tags: Meaning message perception relationship woman conversation misunderstanding Leave a comment »I am only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
I read this somewhere, it struck a chord & I tweeted it immediately.
I am getting tired of explaining what I said. I find that most of the time, we will not change our perspective of what we heard. I am guilty of this too hence use “we”.
Do we complicate things unnecessarily? Think too much into anything said/ heard?!
I used to be one of those who took the wysiwyg in this case wyhiwyg (hear) attitude. Not delve too deep, this is because I say what I think. I don’t tuck in cryptic messages. So I am quite dense when it comes to understanding such messages. Guess am not the typical woman wherein when she says no it is a maybe?!?
Over time I realise others are not the same. I need to decipher the actual message!
Why not make things simple? Just say what you mean. Saves a lot of time & effort for everyone involved!! This will also save quite a few relationships!!!
Wondering now who is responsible?! The one who says something or one who understands something else?!?
Maybe it is just me….
Posted: December 9, 2012 Filed under: behaviour, emotions, friends, life, opinion, parent, questions | Tags: emotions, friends, life, time 3 Comments »Well, it has been so long since I even logged into WordPress!! Was taken aback by all the interface changes!! That is how long!!!
It was nice to see an award when I did log in!!! Been 5 years since I registered it seems!! Wow!! Just a few days back I thought time flies – A turned 8. I think it again today – Didn’t realise it has been 5 years since I registered here!!
Life has not changed much but it has too!! I start afresh yet again in a way tomorrow. Nervous about this yet tired of new beginnings. I just wish I had no more… I am at a weird place now. I want change but I don’t want it either. I feel lonely yet think am too set in my own ways that I can’t think of adapting to being with someone either….
A has been the one strength. I have poured out my anger & frustration to him yet he still manages to give me such a welcoming smile when he sees me. Never ceases to please me. Ever ready to give me a hug. As much as I have resented being the only one responsible for him, I love him to bits.
I truly wish my life was less complicated. Wish I could just enjoy the simple things in life. Days I want to see how A has grown up & what he will become. Days I just don’t want to wake up at all.
I have made some new friends yet, have started to think they are not going to be around either. It is not them…I think it is me! As a friend told me, I am not ready to trust anyone any more. Been left stranded way too many times.
Times I just don’t know what I want. One thing though…no more getting hurt & being used.If it means I don’t trust people or be called rude – so be it. I am tired of feeling lost, sad & many times breaking down into tears, feeling defeated. I may not laugh or smile but I do not want to feel crushed.
I do not think time heals! I don’t even think it makes me feel numb over time…may be it is just me!??!
My woes with a service provider
Posted: December 22, 2011 Filed under: India, learning, life, opinion | Tags: address, Airtel, anger, Apple, behaviour, broadband, chennai, city, correction, customer service, despair, fixed line, frustration, iPhone4S, Kanchipuram, Madrasi, microSIM, mobile, rant 9 Comments »I write here after so many months only to rant! Sorry …but I have had it till here (wherever that is ) with a certain network that says one needs every kind of friend. Seriously to deal with them, one does need every friend!!!
I must say I have been battling with a few issues for quite some time now…say almost since I stopped posting here. Currently have 2 issues running.
Let me start with the older one. I have my broadband service from this network. Till sometime now, I have been living in the city :Chennai. Suddenly the network decides that I live in Kanchipuram. According to them, my pin code(zip) falls into Kanchipuram. Been hitting my head against brick walls saying the city is Chennai, may be the district is Kanchipuram. I guess all this struggle started around September?! Anyways, long story cut short – I have been getting etiquette lessons about how I must speak even if I am the frustrated paying customer who gets no resolution to the issue (though after every phone call, get a text message saying issue resolved!!!)
Point to note: One phone call I received enquiring about this from the network. The guy asks me to explain everything!! I asked if they every maintained any logs of calls!!! Frustration mounts if you have to explain each time about the issue & the history! I asked him sarcastically if Kanchipuram was Chennai. He goes I don’t know I am from Gurgaon. Told him don’t care if he were from Timbuctoo but I needed the correction done on my bill (which can be produced as proof of address for any official purpose). He does not even bother to cover up he tells his colleague in Hindi that I speak too much! I responded back in Hindi saying anyone would if they went through what I do to get my address right! He continues to his colleague “yeh madrasi hindi janti hai!”. Limits! And these people teach us phone etiquette!!!!
After calling, mailing, tweeting; I have given up. So according to my broadband provider the city on my address should read “Kanchipuram” - a town I probably have visited twice in my lifetime so far!!
My second issue. I got a gift of an iPhone4S (yay!!). Well not so fast to celebrate. To use it, I need a microSIM card. I call the relationship manager of the network that I deal with at work and ask him. He said he would get it to me that day… which went on for more than a week. I gave up, went to a private mobile store; got my old (one I used since 2008) SIM card laser cut. I call the network to make changes to start using 3G.
10 December: I get a call congratulating me on my phone. Tell me about plans for my usage. Then when I said the network drops, am told the issue is with the card and I would receive a brand new one by Tuesday that week. She would also call me on Wednesday to follow up and find out if it worked fine?!
14 December: Evening after waiting, not receiving card nor call, I call them. They say they tried to reach me and I was unreachable. They tried once. I had given them an alternate mobile number which also uses the same network!!
15/16 December: They call me once each day while I was entering a meeting or was in one. I tell them a time to call, I never get the call.
Fast-forward to 20th: Still no microSIM from the network. I call. They had closed the previous call and start a new one.
No calls from them… 21st I try cust care from my iPhone. I cannot reach them at all.I use my other mobile, tell them this…they assure me I will get a call back in 15 minutes around 4:20 PM.
22 December: 10:30AM no calls. I call using my other line, to be assured I will get a call back in a few minutes (I must have asked what their few minutes was specifically!) Around 4- 4:30Pm, lo behold I can call from my iPhone4S. I ask what happened. There are no records of calls made on 21st & 22nd!! The whole process of issue/history starts! I lost it. Told them I have lost hope that I would ever receive a microSIM from them, not now, not in this century or even next!
Supposedly I was told that my network drops because of faulty old SIM card but I cannot get it replaced. So, do I suffer with the faulty network stuck with “amazing” customer service (btw, I am told by the mechanical voice when I call customer service that I am welcome to their Platinum service!!!).
I am sure that they would have “resolved” the issue according to them. I am stuck with lousy network services which will be blamed on my SIM card making me wonder why I ever got a phone like this (which by the way is a pleasure to use!!)
In conversation with a friend, we were saying may be we must stop paying our bills and then may be they will call us!?!?! If we as prompt paying customers get this service, GOK what others are provided with?!?!
I must say one thing these people have made me do is get back to writing on the blog! Wish it were on a happier note and not such a rant!
Third consecutive post?!!…
Posted: July 22, 2011 Filed under: behaviour, emotions, learning, life, opinion, parent, questions | Tags: computing, school, smart class, teachers, technology 4 Comments »Yeah this is the third consecutive post on technology!! Of course just my random thoughts on whatever!!
Listening to the radio while driving, one can’t avoid listening to the ads too. One goes with the voiceover of a child narrating to her dad that she did not have teachers for 3 periods in class. The dad is bewildered and the child replies they used a particular brand of computing services. Indications of how teachers were not required in classrooms and computing solutions are enough for the kids to learn!!!!! The kid asks whether they can get the same system at home to which the dad responds he would get it if the kid did well at school!
I am not suggesting that we go back to good old days wherein we used no technology. I understand most schools now use smart boards (A’s schools so far have!) but even the mere thought of doing away of teachers??!! I know it is an ad but it just hit a nerve! We are becoming so mechanical, technology dependent that sometimes I guess we forget about relationships, people. We start taking that for granted. Yes, I have got friends thanks to this medium but would I be friends with a bot?! No way! So why would I subject my kid to a no teacher classroom or why would anyone think of doing that?
I guess I have rambled enough. Point is, I think I like my no technology downtimes these days & appreciate what life has to offer! I am learning not to be glued to this machine, not thinking of doing away with it; but just trying to hit the balance! I hope that A does grow in a society where technology is embraced without giving up basic human interactions.
A’s wisdom
Posted: March 25, 2011 Filed under: fun, life, opinion, parent | Tags: alcohol, car, child, drink, driving, reading, signboard, signs, water 8 Comments »We were driving on a hot day (well all days are hot here in Chennai!!). My friend was driving with A sitting behind in the car. A was reading all the sign boards found on the road – on the sides, above and everywhere he could read something! (Should may be carry books in the car?! ) One of the signs he reads
Don’t drink & drive.
My driver friend feeling thirsty at that point of time, took a swig from the bottle of water in the car! It is now quite anyone’s guess about what followed! LOL! A goes…hey don’t drink and drive. It says so everywhere, that is the rule.
Now…do I explain about what is meant by drinking or do I laugh my head off!? Of course I did the latter. My friend went on saying hey..explain to him as he is not willing to listen to me! Fun time!
So, had to tell him he is right, but there is a tweak to what the sign meant. He did not get what alcohol was or the effects. I had to induce that wisdom which made me think…how much do we say? What do we say? I guess now I must dread the birds & bees talk!! Or am I hitting the panic button a bit too early?!
I digress (as usual!). It was a fun day, had a good laugh thanks to A’s wisdom. I would definitely follow it, and urge everyone else to do so too!!
Don’t drink & drive. It causes accidents.
Stop, take a swig and go on Just kidding! On a serious note, personally knowing people who lost loved ones due to drunk driving, we must vow to do everything to stop that!
What we input into children!?
Posted: March 6, 2011 Filed under: analysis?, India, learning, life, opinion, parent, questions | Tags: caste, Christian, differentiation, diversity, Hindu, religion 1 Comment »A & I were driving down, passing by a church. Traffic was heavy. A read out the board of the church. I told him that is where a friend of ours goes. Something made me add that the friend was a Christian followed by the question, “what are you?”. Obviously I expected the answer, “Amma I am Hindu” but the answer that came threw me off. It made me start thinking of what we input into children. He answered “I am Indian.” Yes, logistically a wrong answer, him being American by citizenship…still growing up here, he is more Indian than many I know really!
Back to what I was posting about. I, as a kid, did not know about the caste system until I actually had to put it on some form in school. I went asking my mother who had to explain about this. This was when I was in middle school.
Aspects that have now become a divisive factor, a point on which vote banks are on – religion, caste are something children are not aware of. Are we thrusting it on them? Is it necessary!? Would it make a world of difference if we did not have these in life? Yes, lets say that there is God – but why should that make us a Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim or Jain or whatever else there is?!?!
I did not tell A that he was Hindu. I am sure he will know when his “identity” …just wondering if such divisiveness is required. Won’t we all be more at peace without these categories?!?
It is just a stupid thought that came to my idle mind! As a parent though, it was a moment!!
Point of Opinion
Posted: January 18, 2011 Filed under: analysis?, behaviour, emotions, learning, life, opinion 6 Comments »This morning, I was struck wondering; are you right if you make more noise? The louder you are, the more forceful you are; you are right. Off late, I have been thinking that this is becoming a norm everywhere.
You are wrong , I am right. I don’t care to listen to what you have to say. I call a brown cow as purple; I am right!
This is the attitude that I have been facing off late. Usually I am a person who will argue her lungs out till the actual right thing is accepted on. Now though, after voicing dissent once or sometimes twice, I just keep quiet. I don’t necessarily agree, I don’t pursue the argument. Is this me being wiser?!?! ooh! I like that No..don’t think so. I guess I just am tired of arguing/making things clearer. I am proud to be Indian but I also am pragmatic in saying that we are not as a race that clean! I missed by a mere whisker being spat on this morning on my ride to work. God knows what diseases that guy has that he spreads this way apart from the fact that I would feel yucky. I would never dream of going into a public toilet here in India. No way Jose!! It is a nightmare calling customer service here (I am sure that many have written & rated on this particular topic!) It just amazes me when it is just taken all in stride in my country. Worse is when someone points these out as they are, I find people actually defend it!!! I mean something that is wrong in the name of being loyal to the country?! Is it not more loyal to set things right and project a good image? Just because someone who visits our country follows what citizens do even if it is wrong does not mean we are right…is it?! We drive wrong and those who come here… get the attitude “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!” and become impossible drivers. Does that make our driving good?!?! Come on!!! Wake up!!
I suppose I am writing down what I wanted to say (not so loudly ) yet trying to make a point here! Don’t know how far the point is being made! Pure co-incidence, while I opened wordpress to write this post, came across this on the home page! http://intelligentchallenge.wordpress.com/2011/01/16/you-are-wrong-i-am-right/. Interesting intelligent read
