Third consecutive post?!!…

Yeah this is the third consecutive post on technology!! Of course just my random thoughts on whatever!!

Listening to the radio while driving, one can’t avoid listening to the ads too. One goes with the voiceover of a child narrating to her dad that she did not have teachers for 3 periods in class. The dad is bewildered and the child replies they used a particular brand of computing services. Indications of how teachers were not required in classrooms and computing solutions are enough for the kids to learn!!!!! The kid asks whether they can get the same system at home to which the dad responds he would get it if the kid did well at school!

I am not suggesting that we go back to good old days wherein we used no technology. I understand most schools now use smart boards (A’s schools so far have!) but even the mere thought of doing away of teachers??!! I know it is an ad but it just hit a nerve! We are becoming so mechanical, technology dependent that sometimes I guess we forget about relationships, people. We start taking that for granted. Yes, I have got friends thanks to this medium but would I be friends with a bot?! No way! So why would I subject my kid to a no teacher classroom or why would anyone think of doing that?

I guess I have rambled enough. Point is, I think I like my no technology downtimes these days & appreciate what life has to offer! I am learning not to be glued to this machine, not thinking of doing away with it; but just trying to hit the balance! I hope that A does grow in a society where technology is embraced without giving up basic human interactions.

 

Child’s Elephant

A loves to use MS Paint like apps. He lets his imagination loose. Just have a look at the elephant he has “drawn”. He says that it is a baby elephant that is cute & talks. Apparently it is as cute as him and doesn’t trouble it’s mom to eat! He is very proud of his baby elephant and am proud of my baby!! He definitely is a plus in my life as much as I say otherwise!!

 

A’s wisdom

We were driving on a hot day (well all days are hot here in Chennai!!). My friend was driving with A sitting behind in the car. A was reading all the sign boards found on the road – on the sides, above and everywhere he could read something! (Should may be carry books in the car?! )  One of the signs he reads

Don’t drink & drive.

My driver friend feeling thirsty at that point of time, took a swig from the bottle of water in the car! It is now quite anyone’s guess about what followed! LOL! A goes…hey don’t drink and drive. It says so everywhere, that is the rule.

Now…do I explain about what is meant by drinking or do I laugh my head off!? Of course I did the latter. My friend went on saying hey..explain to him as he is not willing to listen to me! Fun time!

So, had to tell him he is right, but there is a tweak to what the sign meant. He did not get what alcohol was or the effects. I had to induce that wisdom which made me think…how much do we say? What do we say? I guess now I must dread the birds & bees talk!! Or am I hitting the panic button a bit too early?!

I digress (as usual!). It was a fun day, had a good laugh thanks to A’s wisdom. I would definitely follow it, and urge everyone else to do so too!!

Don’t drink & drive. It causes accidents.

Stop, take a swig and go on Just kidding! On a serious note, personally knowing people who lost loved ones due to drunk driving, we must vow to do everything to stop that!

 

What we input into children!?

A & I were driving down, passing by a church. Traffic was heavy. A read out the board of the church. I told him that is where a friend of ours goes. Something made me add that the friend was a Christian followed by the question, “what are you?”. Obviously I expected the answer, “Amma I am Hindu” but the answer that came threw me off. It made me start thinking of what we input into children. He answered “I am Indian.” Yes, logistically a wrong answer, him being American by citizenship…still growing up here, he is more Indian than many I know really!

Back to what I was posting about. I, as a kid, did not know about the caste system until I actually had to put it on some form in school. I went asking my mother who had to explain about this. This was when I was in middle school.

Aspects that have now become a divisive factor, a point on which vote banks are on – religion, caste are something children are not aware of. Are we thrusting it on them? Is it necessary!? Would it make a world of difference if we did not have these in life? Yes, lets say that there is God – but why should that make us a Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim or Jain or whatever else there is?!?!

I did not tell A that he was Hindu. I am sure he will know when his “identity” …just wondering if such divisiveness is required. Won’t we all be more at peace without these categories?!?

It is just a stupid thought that came to my idle mind!  As a parent though, it was a moment!!

 

Ms.Winkle?! Me?

What have I been upto for the past few days? Nothing really. I have slept through most of the days except to wake up & look after A. This is way too many Zzzzzs for an insomniac like me.

I was chatting with MsChill Pill answering her query as to how my day was. She said I was catching up on my lost sleep so far with me telling her that would only happen if I became Rip Van Winkle.

Wow! Would it not be great? Going some place, meeting strangers, a game of nine pins…. the liquor bit I am not so sure though and sleeping for a couple of decades! I would look a wee bit better than Mr.Winkle I suppose – no facial hair (hopefully!!! ) Does n’t hibernation also involve weight loss?

Hmmm….now that said, what would I miss? A’s growth. That is all and that is a lot. Quite a toss up now, ain’t it?

I know I will be back to my insomnia, ranting, cribbing, enjoying A’s life and a wee bit of mine telling you all about the crazy mundane life (now that is an oxymoron – guess it is the crazy me leading a mundane life!  )

 

Neither here nor there!

This post has been coming for quite some time now! I have shared this with some people I know about how I don’t feel like I belong. It was not that I felt like I belonged in the US when I was there. I was adapting to the life and learning to love the weather, the people – Many friends who were there who shared my dilemma or did not (I mean those who got the opportunity to work there).  It was not a great life, but it was supposedly my home. I put in my time to work on it, decorate & maintain it. Put in thoughts to make it feel like a home – welcomed friends to home cooked meals, hopefully made them feel nice. I did not like American football. To me, football would always be their soccer. Though, I was initiated into it by a friend who taught his kids’ school teams. I remember one time when we had friends over for the Superbowl when the guy taught P the nuances of the game and he was surprised I had picked up so much in just a conversation in some summer barbeque. We had watched the game over Indian food, red wine & awesome cheese,  pleasant company.

I digress….anyways…the point is after almost 5 or 6 years, I guess I had actually grown roots there. Fast forward to now! I am living under my aging parents roof facing divorce (phew …even I am tired of saying “soon to be ex” when I talk about P) I have been hearing about how he has been packing my stuff since Dec ’06, how he has been talking to the lawyers since only he knows when!! I am yet to receive the papers or our stuff! Life has been weird here. Bittersweet in a way. Found new friends in fellow bloggers. We connect well. They care a lot for A & me….still I feel lonely. Desparate. Feel like I don’t belong here now. Another 5 year haul to grow roots here with A in tow?! I am scared of facing this conservative society – when they hear of divorce it is my fault! At 32, without many skills to boast of , I don’t know where I am headed. I have realised that it is each to one’s own. Everyone is busy, they have their lives. I was one who let go of everything if a friend asked me for help or just called to talk. Guess, back in the US, friends become family. Here I have a family. They are concerned…I know that but are not always considerate because of their own circumstances. Friends are at a loss for even words. No one knows what to say. I am not trying to play the victim here and enjoying it as one person told me. Believe me it is not fun being the victim. Just plain fact that things are not easy. I feel like I don’t belong.

I feel like I left my friends behind there but when I read their blogs or chat with them, I no longer relate to them or their lifestyle/attitude even. I feel like I have no one here in India. I know my parents would rather not have me here at their place; but they are glad I am not somewhere suffering alone. They can’t do much but they can provide a safe shelter. They don’t know what they must do except know that their daughter & grandkid must not suffer. I don’t speak much to my parents because it mostly ends in confrontations ( a whole different post…probably will never get written!) I am just tired of being the depressed person that needs to crib to friends. I feel like I am pushing them away. They don’t know what to say because I don’t want to hear clichés or talk about karma /God/ time. Nobody can really help me out in a way either.I know I have A. Though I know that he right now is more of a responsibility; I cannot think of how I would manage if P stops sending the money that he is sending me right now! What then? My parents have no income and are living off their savings. So, A, unless I am financially stable, makes me think I made a huge mistake having him. Live in the present people might say….then when I am broke tomorrow, how do A & I live?

Just a day when I think it must all end!

 

Dec 6th….

To most Indians, when they hear this date, they don’t even pause to think before saying it reminds them of the Babri Masjid demolition. I decided to write this post to say this date has other events too…

Here is the wiki page on Dec 6th. Just a few from that page

1768 – The first edition of the Encyclopædia Britannica is published.
1865 – The Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution is ratified, banning slavery.
1884 – The Washington Monument in Washington D.C. is completed.
2004 – My son A was born (well this is not on that page…yet well almost – Thank you Varun )
2006 – NASA reveals photographs taken by Mars Global Surveyor suggesting the presence of liquid water on Mars.

As much as I understand that Babri Masjid event happened, when some one asks me his date of birth; please don’t tell me that is what one associates the day with always!! The guy was born more than a decade later. There is no need to state good things that happened….just don’t state this!

So, what can some one say…just say Happy Birthday if it is close to the day   Else, say oh! he is born under the sign Sagittarius . Am gonna scream next time I hear some one say…Babri Masjid – I swear!! Dear A, wish you a very happy birthday. Hope you have a great life and get to do whatever you want and be happy!

 

Big Fish

Yes, this is an entry based on the movie. Big Fish was a movie I loved when I saw it the first time. Went on to get the DVD of it too (don’t have it with me like so many of my other things – thanks to someone who would no longer be in our lives by his choice)

I am mentioning this and the person as I am watching the movie on TV now. The movie is about the father- son relationship. I am keying this in with a lump in my throat that my son would not have this or anything close to it as he would not have this person around. I am wondering how I would explain his absence when A starts questioning me. I wonder if I can be both the mother and the father  as he grows up.

People say God gives only what one can handle; this still does not stop me from self- doubt. I want to give the best to A like any other parent would want to for the kid. I just hope I succeed and never let A feel like he missed something or someone ever!

I had never cried in movies….today though after watching Big Fish; I had tears in my eyes. May be I have changed?!?  I still like the movie though.