Time. Precious?

A is going for his summer coaching. He has chosen cricket. I know it is just spring tune as per the calendar :) . These coaching classes started yesterday and go on till mid-April. Starts at 5:30am IST.

Yesterday I saw parents bringing their kids in even a little after 6!!!! I thought maybe because it was the first day people were taking it easy. It continues today. I remember it was the case last year too.

This has got me thinking. I have been embarrassed many times when it has been pointed out that punctuality is not a part of the Indian psyche. I have even argued that it cannot be generalised. That said, in all honesty, we Indians are lackadaisical when it comes to keeping time. It is ok to make someone wait. I think I have written about how wedding receptions never start on time & people actually were surprised about my ignorance of this fact!! The invitation says 7PM means it will probably start at 8PM if we are lucky!!
It is weird that the same set of people cannot wait a few seconds at the traffic signal. People honk, start moving even before the light turns green. The don’t stop when the light turns red. All because if they stop, they will waste those precious minutes!!!! (Guess traffic etiquette is a whole different blog post).
So when and how will our kids learn the virtue of punctuality? Do I say the kids had not woken up to get here on time or do I say the parents didn’t enforce the same? I can understand if it is a stray one or 2 kids coming in late (something must have held things up! ) I find it is a whole bunch of kids!!!
Since parents are not allowed to watch the kids at the camp, I do not know if the teachers there reiterate the importance if being on time. I sure hope they do.
Having been brought up with this fact drilled into my head; I find it hard to accept the nonchalance in general. To my grand dad or mother, 5:30 is that on dot. Be early but never late. Respect the other person’s time. Make the effort. These are what had been told to me.
In the case of this camp, the kids have been enrolled because they want to ( or the parents want them to :) ). Either way , shouldn’t the effort be taken to just show up on time?!?!
I am sure there still will be kids coming in late day after day till the end of the camp. Just wish they show some commitment in getting to the school on time!! Teach them young we are told!

Who’s responsible?!

I am only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand

I read this somewhere, it struck a chord & I tweeted it immediately.

I am getting tired of explaining what I said. I find that most of the time, we will not change our perspective of what we heard. I am guilty of this too hence use “we”.

Do we complicate things unnecessarily? Think too much into anything said/ heard?!

I used to be one of those who took the wysiwyg in this case wyhiwyg (hear) attitude. Not delve too deep, this is because I say what I think. I don’t tuck in cryptic messages. So I am quite dense when it comes to understanding such messages. Guess am not the typical woman wherein when she says no it is a maybe?!? :)

Over time I realise others are not the same. I need to decipher the actual message!

Why not make things simple? Just say what you mean. Saves a lot of time & effort for everyone involved!! This will also save quite a few relationships!!!

Wondering now who is responsible?! The one who says something or one who understands something else?!?

Sunday Stealing! & life changes

I got a mail from Mr. Lance of Sunday Stealing…for this. Then got a pingback from Dayle Fraschilla who took up the meme here. :) Thanks! :)
This reminded me of how it was taking memes. Making friends on this blog. Over time, my blogging frequency has come down. I don’t even remember what was the last meme I did. I do read most of my favourite blogs but don’t leave comments like I used to. Pity that I don’t even seem to rant as much or share anything… wondering why?!I am tempted to retake the same meme at least some of the questions, just to see if life has changed?! Nah!!! Life definitely has changed since this. Been two years!! I have changed jobs (I didn’t have one then!), A is 2 years older. I am 2 years older & wiser ;) (ok…that I probably never will be). I guess I don’t trust people like I used to.( well still not too good at this yet! Needs more work). I also need to learn how to tell people exactly what to do to themselves when they comment on my life choices. I am always up for a debate but not ready to hear judgemental comments on anything which includes topics like who I spend time with, what I wear, how I must raise my kid, spend my money etc…
I have changed my mobile quite a few times since ;) (yeah…I like gadgets, make the effort to save money to buy them so people who comment on this habit…here goes – my money, my wish). In fact I have also changed my car, dress sizes (up and down and up…). This is as far as material things go.
Oh how can I forget?!?! I am officially legally single. Ok…in Chennai I am a divorcee. I have a globally acceptable document that says this!!  Thanks to my divorce happening in NY, USA and me living here in India; trying to get a passport without the name of the spouse on it (yeah…you can get a person’s entire life story if possible from Indian passports), I had to learn what an Apostille document is. I had to even educate a few officers in the passport office here.
I thought I have come a long way when it comes to battling depression since Feb 2009. This was yesterday. Today I am not so sure. I have to be honest here, I still battle with thoughts of suicide, sending A to his father & just disappearing hoping to make people happier at least then. Crux is I don’t think I have won that battle or am I even close to it when it comes to depression :( Have my ups and downs…
As usual my thoughts are all over the place. Well I am living up to being the ruminator…I have to stop ruminating I suppose :D .
The tagging at least has given me an excuse to scribble here…
Here is to hoping that this year is better for me and those few readers I still have or any of those new ones who happen to accidentally find their way here (that is some optimism from some one like me who prides in being a pessimist in capital bold letters :) )

Am alive!!

Hopefully well I must add :) So is A. What got me out of my slumber?! Just missed writing here besides, I thought of penning down a recent experience of mine which of course involved A & a dear friend Aaarti.

Flash back :D Tuesday last we received a circular from the school that Aakash studies in asking for students between UKG and 3rd to register to be dressed as Lord Krishna for a programme by Aruna Sairam on Vijay TV (Krishna Jayanthi special) Krishna Jayanthi for non- Indian readers is the Hindu celebration of Lord Krishna’s birthday. The following Wednesday was another Hindu holiday. Since we thought the registrations would have filled up for the first 100, we did not bother to call the school up to register though A was very keen to be lil Krishna. Friday we thought why not just give a shot – called and were surprised that A was just Krishna #81!!!!!

Saturday: Aaarti, A & I went shopping to get the costume ready. There I get a brainwave; decide not to hire the costume but put things together and dress the guy up. While shopping, we kept in mind that whatever we buy, I must be able to use later and it should not end up to be a one time thing. Had fun blowing money :D Got the costume ready with the help of my mum too. A was pretty co-operative with every little thing we tried on him!

Sunday: Recording day!! We were asked to be at the auditorium at 2pm. We had been asked to get snacks for the kids and get them dressed up completely there. I took A there sharp at 2. The air-conditioner in the auditorium was not switched on. It was a typical hot day in Chennai. So, one can imagine how it would have been inside the auditorium!!! Took A out to the car, got him dressed there. Thank God that the auditorium was closer to the beach (sea breeze had set in, it was getting a wee bit cooler :) ) Aaarti joined me to help me get him dressed. We got in to the auditorium, in a while they switched on the A/C. I pitied every kid there, all made up, in uncomfortable clothes and sweating. Though they really did not seem to mind! We even found a couple of kids playing “stone, paper, scissors” in front of us :D That bit was a delight – watching all the kids around (Kids playing, crying, wanting to go pee after getting completely dressed up!!!, wanting to eat after putting on their make up.. ). Then it was utter chaos. No one really knew what was the plan of action. The sound checks kept going on. Suddenly there was an announcement to leave the kids in the middle rows. When I say announcement it was not on the PA system, it was just a random person who came and told us parents. So, there were some who were completely oblivious to the announcement. With lots of confusion, finally things settled down. The artist comes in with her band, does sound checks. Kids there totally restless. Aruna Sairam sang well, tried to get the kids involved telling them they were the show’s stars, making them dance & sing. The show had 4 songs sung by her & 2 with her and a few kids who had been trained. We also had constant announcements not to take photographs or video recordings. Of course, we all would take pictures of our Krishnas (Aaarti & I did before the programme started and the announcements were made – so I guess we are fine :) )

I found the whole thing highly disorganised. I would also blame the parents & other relatives of the kids around too. They kept approaching the kids now and then crowding around the area where they were seated which triggered multiple announcements from the “organisers” requesting the parents to not do so. Though I also understand that the kids would have been hungry/uncomfortable and needed to confer with their mums or dads. I suppose Vijay TV officials should have realised this and made this a bit more of a pleasant experience for all. The concept of the programme was good, hence the planning should have involved a bit more of consideration that it involves small children. Parents too must have been a wee bit more co-operative! Aaarti and I were joking saying we were such “bad” adults when it came to looking after A. I had just left him where he had to sit, told him I was going to be around. That was that. I did not bother to go enquire after etc…, So, may be I was a bad parent after all. :) I did get irritated at one point when the MC kept announcing the kids to be quiet, parents not to approach the kids etc., I went up and told her to realise how things are. She listened and told me…that she was just doing this as a hobby but will take the suggestions in a good manner!!! There was no one who we could actually approach and ask questions or talk to!! Recording was over and done with. The kids received a packet with mysurpa box from Krishna Sweets (a brand here), a few packs of biscuits/cookies. Announcements were made saying the programme will be relayed on 13 August but the time was not given. I must say that whether every kid’s face is relayed or not, each one of them was cute (some parents had even painted the kids blue or blue/black!! torture I say especially when I was so apprehensive of putting on even a light make up on A!!! ). The kids were definitely the stars :D

I must really grant it to Vijay TV here. They must have gotten a really good TRP rating that day. I should say I was partly a contributing member. Word of mouth advertisement. Please see A on TV (he might come for a few seconds – one among 100s of kids! :) ) Aaah the vanity of motherhood!! The network ran teasers – my parents & of course I was very pleased to see a close up of A in the teaser!! :D All riled up to watch the show on 13th, I came back from work early. Switch on the television to find that the cablewala had cut power. All we could see were black and white dots with that crazy noise!! Calls flew past asking if anyone could record the programme for us. Alas, I must say I did not see the programme. Aaarti said that A did appear for a few seconds which made me write “A got his 2 secs out of his 15 minutes of fame!” as my status message.

I must say here that A, Aaarti, my parents & I had fun dressing A up as lil Krishna. I must also add that A milked every bit of appreciation from one and all (attention seeker that he is becoming!!! I must get wary of that :) ) I am still trying to find out if that programme is available on YouTube or anywhere else. I did read somewhere that the dressed up Krishnas were not given that much of a coverage on the programme.

Would I do something like this again!? Honest answer, I don’t know. I would think twice before registering him for such TV shows though. May be I am not being fair to the network, but I really feel they should have anticipated things, made better arrangements especially since the show involved so many kids.

Anyways after the “jetlag” of my long slumber, I guess am back with this post of a happening almost a week back :) . I don’t know though if I will post as regularly but will definitely try. Thanks to some of you who did enquire after me. That really made me feel good, felt like -hey even I am missed!!!

PS: Please do let me know if any of you have a recording of the show or can find out a link for me to just at least watch! Please!! Pretty please…with cherries on top!! :D If anyone one wants to see A in his costume (and already has not ;) ) please do mail me, will try mail you a pic :D As I said earlier, vanity of motherhood!! :D ;)

Expansionist…me?

Vimal tagged for this meme here. He has written he wanted more visits to that page…may be that is why this late tagging happened :)

I like tags. I guess I learn more about myself when I do them. This one : I learnt that I am pretty much open to most things in life; but certain stuff – I do have some boundaries which I think are justifiable.

Please thoughtfully consider the following, and choose one item for each of the categories below.(Be sure to describe your reasons for choosing)
One religious work from a non-familiar tradition you’ll read:
Am not a very religious person. Off late I have flashes of atheism too. Though I firmly believe in knowledge for knowledge’s sake. Besides I pretty much read anything printed!! (Stay totally away from self-help books – read a few though) So, what would I read from a non- familiar tradition? I should say that even Hinduism to a large extent is non-familiar. Though am game for any other work on whatever tradition :D

One music video–that you like–from your “least likely to listen to’ genre:
Again I am open to any form of music and I don’t watch that many music videos. I am more of a listen to music kind of person. :) “Least likey to listen to” genre is metal for me though.

A book from a genre you almost never read, that you have read, or you will read (promise!):
Self help books!! eeeks!! no way! Erotic stuff have never read! I would rather do nothing!!! NO!! I will not read these! :D so none listed!! ;) No expansion?! no problem ;)

Somewhere you’d never thought to go on holiday/vacation, and why it might be fun to go there?
Timbuctoo or Mongolia….Don’t know why it will be fun. Just that I always think of some place remote. Run away from the maddening crowd…Any such place would be good ;) May be it is just now!

A specific food you’ve never tried, but will because of this meme, honest!
OMG! Food….Well, I guess I will try anything lacto-vegetarian.

A sport or game you really hate, or haven’t tried yet, but are willing to give one more go:

I don’t hate any sport/game. Hate is a strong word!! Haven’t tried? Well, that would probably fill pages and pages. This is an expansionist meme, right? So am game for any sport/ game ;)

A style of dance you probably won’t try (we won’t make you promise on this one):
Again boring but truthful answer…willing to try any dance as long as it is not  characterised under perversion.

A career/ job you don’t feel you’re suited for, and why:
Marketing! I cannot lie to save my soul. I cannot sensationalise. I can almost never convince some one unless I myself strongly believe in that (which I know will not be the case in marketing jobs!)

An item that’s “thinking out of the box’ for this meme that hadn’t been included:
I have exhausted my thinking ability on responding to the previous questions. Cannot think of an answer to this one!

If  there’s one thing in life you wanted to do, and will do because of this meme, what will it be?
Again, I don’t think I would actually do anything because of a meme. There are a lot of things in life I want to do though! :)

Now for the tougher part than doing the meme itself. I am going to take the easy way out – leave it to who ever wants to take this up. One condition : Let me know so I can come check your answers :D

Tags – 1 down 3 more to go! :)

Free Stuff – I like :)

Thanks to The BeadDen, came to know of this Giveaway site.Well, it is the holiday season :D

It is a cool site. They giveaway a usually priced software for a day. So, keep checking the site – you never know when you might get the product you might want or get something you thought you did not want but end up liking (kinda like life ;) )

If you have a product that you developed…check out this page on the site which helps build user base & advertise.

Right again!!

My horoscope for the day reads..

For a period that lasts usually about two days either side of exact time 18:19 your moodiness, irritability and bad temper could cause arguments during this time. You may find yourself losing your temper with a loved one for no reason at all – and they could be quite hurt and confused by the way you behave. Hidden tensions are now likely to surface…

I just read this. In fact I logged on and went blog hopping to take my mind of the flare up I just had with a really good friend of mine. I check my mail…and the horoscope of the day reads thus!! I just lost my head and sorry to have hurt this friend. Though, I would not accept it was for no reason at all. What I reacted on is something that is touchy for me. I know that she means well.

Just feeling now that I can run but not hide!

OMG!

It has taken me a while to realise that I was in such a dead end marriage…living life as a doormat. Not that my position has improved greatly…but hoping it would soon enough. Why this post then? Well, off late, I have been told by some friends of mine; rather hinted upon that the one person I want out in my life might come back maybe (as he has not yet filed for the divorce! their ideas…), repent for his ways and I should accept him – for whatever reasons.

True, at one point, I would have done anything to stay with him. Now though, I am pretty clear. I want him out of my life and A’s. Any suggestions otherwise just infuriate me.

Don’t quite know why such things even come up especially from some who know every bit of what has transpired to the demise of my marriage. Is it Indian mentality? It took a lot out of me to get out of the trap mentally. It pains me to go through all these ideas of how he might come back, how I must forgive & forget  and all that!!! Sheer agony! So…please stop! Now all I want is to get on with life with my son.

Writing -definitely an art!

A couple of days back, I had to fill in a few forms – sheets of paper using the good old pen. Guess what? I just could not go on. For someone who has grown up in the good old Indian system of studying which involved writing pages and pages…it was a chore to fill in those forms!!

This made me decide I should write a page of something (actually write – pen on paper types!) maybe even “Sriramajayam” (for the atheist that I am becoming ;) ) Hope I can keep up with this :D

Impressed!!

I have come across this guy…He is now a Systems analyst in a reputed firm. I was already impressed by his knowledge, zeal and willingness to help. When I heard about how he has come up….OMG!! Seems he actually had to work right after school, so he did his degree long distance while working. He has been a paperboy, did odd jobs rigt through and ended the day by doing a data entry job at night. If someone says they have their life hard cos they cannot shop for their favourite video game or a pair of shoes, they can actually get royally kicked. ;)

Why is this so surprising? In India, I thought it was granted that kids work only after completing their graduation, and go on to their PG with their parents money. So to meet someone like this was truly a first for me. I was so impressed that I wanted to pen this down here. Hats of to this guy!!