Was reading Swaminathan’s entry titled urban myths about divorce & marriage. It contains the following link…
Top Ten Myths of Divorce
This is worth the time to read…
Better to stay married and sort out all differences don’t you think?
This should serve as an eye opener for those who think that divorce is the easy solution for any marital conflict instead of compromise & understanding. There is nothing revolutionary in going for a divorce, it is actually prudent to work things out.
I am currently waiting for my visa papers to get back. My son will be turning 3 late this year. He has been registered in a pre-school close to the place where I stay and it has been informed that he would join late that is when we get back. That is the background. Now to what we are going through…people telling me that I am ruining the whole of my son’s education by keeping him at home during this time of waiting!!
My logic is, I should be getting my travel papers soon. So, why go through the hassle of searching for a good pre-school, of the grind of the whole admission process just for may be a couple of months at the max? More to this thought was that he does not turn 3 by the cut off date in the school district that I stay in. One of the pre-schools there actually responded saying he is not eligible to join pre-school this year. He would actually be joining school only after he turn 5.
So, when people keep telling me that I am hampering my son’s whole future…it infuriates and irritates me! After a while, I start feeling guilty and start thinking if so many people are saying this…may be I am wrong in my thought!!
This also made me wonder when we actually need to send kids to school first? They say we never stop learning and that kids adapt easily….so why must I be almost harassed to enroll my son into a pre-school at that for just a couple of months maximum?? The result of this harassment I take it upon my hubby as if we don’t have enough to argue about 
I guess all of us would have done this at some point or the other in our lives. Results of exams, medical tests, a person, an answer about something, a mail….the list can keep going on! I am right now waiting for papers…Waiting sucks!! real bad… Not being able to plan anything!! I keep waiting for that phone call or mail which does not seem to come at all 
I am not a patient person by nature…and this forced lesson in patience makes it worse. My mother used to say that I always want things yesterday when I was growing up! Why can’t things work out?? and sooooooon at that 
What makes my waiting worse are the queries and comments that come from people….suggestions about what I must do without any idea of what I am actually going through!!! To a certain extent, I try to avoid/ignore those…but they get to me after a certain point!!!
Guess this is my vent after waiting for eternity!!! (… it has been a little over 3 weeks now since the expected date!!) Well,I am person who did ask my ob/gyn when my baby would come out in the 32nd week….could not wait to see my son!!! Btw, my son was born 3 days after the due date
I have many a time been ever so thankful for all the friends I have. They have been there for me through thin and thick (literally even 
in that order )
The other day, a friend of mine and I were talking about making new friends. She was saying that people she meets these days even if they share many a common thing; there is no connection most of the time. They just remain at the acquaintance status. She was wondering why this was so…and saying that may be if she had met the same person years earlier, they might have been bosom buddies; concluding that growing older was the reason for this mistrust (if you can call it that?!?)
Set me wondering if I shared this with her. Most of my close friends are those who I have known for ages….but have struck a few really nice friendships recently too - would not call them bosom buddies but they are better than mere acquaintances.
Some of these recent friends are those whom I have only chatted with. The talk made me wonder if I would feel awkward if at all I met them! Food for thought?!
On the same lines, meeting old friends after ages of no contact…there are times when we just hit off like there was no gap ever in communication….and there are times when I have felt like a fish out of water; wondering why I had chosen to be there at that time!!
Don’t know why these happen - but I guess I just feel good I have some friends I can bank upon always. Thanks to each one of them from the bottom of my heart. I know how much of a pain I have been, am being and probably will be for years to come. Thank you for your patience, understanding!!
Have written earlier about my bouts with reducing weight…. Was chatting with a friend pouring all my woes about the same. We changed topics and started talking about cooking and how we have come to love it off -late. As we were signing off, parting comment from that friend was…you know the saying “never trust a skinny chef” - May be we have trouble reducing weight cos we cook well We had a nice laugh over that…lightened the mood a bit.
Nothing against skinny people….may be this saying came about for people like me and I love it
Today was the twenty20 world cup finals at Jo’burg, South Africa. A dream finals as some called it…India vs Pakistan…. Spent 5 + hours watching it on tv. It was nail biting and the match going either way in the last few overs…. India finally won by 5 runs!!! Congrats!!! It was great to see the team win. There were firecrackers burst in exhilaration here in Chennai on the roads….Cricket is a passion here. India- Pakistan matches evokes it like nothing else…..a win is remembered for ages!!!
There is one programme I watched which was featured in the run up to the T20 finals…it was on NDTV…cricketing controversies featuring Imran Khan, Ajay Jadeja, Sidhu and Mantra as panelists. The question asked was which is better the Ashes or Indo-pak match? Imran Khan answered that any match which is evenly poised is good and the Ashes have been tilted in the Aussies side for way too long….
My humble take on this…give me an Indo-Pak match to watch anytime….as I said it evokes something in the mind that gets the adrenalin pumping…but that is me being Indian. It made me think that had I been Australian or English….may be that would have made me feel so about the Ashes.
So, whatever the match, whomsoever the contestants….a good match is just a treat to watch for an armchair cricketer like me It helps if I relate to the players more
I have been thinking of penning my thoughts about this topic for quite sometime now. As usual, an article in The Hindu has triggered me off. It has one statement “Ms. Super Juggler Mom (pardon the stereotypes, but let’s admit to the diminishing community of those going against the tide in our times)” which left me a bit piqued. I am one of those who is a housewife or home maker or domestic engineer or whatever the term used currently. I want to pitch in what my ideas or experience has been.
I find myself constantly defending my choice/circumstance to stay home.
People all around expect you to be “Ms Super Juggler Mom” if not you are a loser!! There have been variations of this thought conveyed to me directly or subtly whatever the other person’s style. If you still chose to stay with your choice, you are also a quitter
Such prodding does get to oneself after a while. I am not that strong a person and such comments heard in weak moments breaks me and I end up crying, venting out my frustration or just fume with anger or whatever is considered not right!! At such times, I so want to go get a job and do it all…be that mom that is described. Saner moments, I think I should give all the attention possible to my kid. I don’t want to miss out on moments with him. Make him delicious fresh food for every meal and snack.
I had all that when I grew up. My mother had a master’s degree and yet chose to stay home to take care of us. Nobody questioned her choice then….
On this note, I should mention that I was with women of my mother’s age recently at a family event. All those women were of the opinion that women should be financially independent and some followed with the comment saying may be that is why there are so many divorces too with the children suffering in the end.
Even if shows like Oprah say that the stay at home mom has the toughest job; it is definitely not a widely accepted opinion. Or characters in movies glorify the choice to stay at home (the movie Monalisa Smile comes to mind). May be in theory, it is great….but women like me are definitely pressurised to get a job and do the juggling act to prove if not to anyone else, to themselves that they can. I have quite a few friends who go through the same and vacillate between staying at home and working. They like me are also picked upon for being that ambivalent…sometimes with really rude opinions.
May be I just need a little more strength, self-esteem to stand by my conviction and not be swayed by other people!! As long as I don’t need the job for financial reasons, I hope I can devote my time to my son…and hope to God that I am not put in a situation where necessity takes over!
This is in response to an ET article. Been following this particular news item on the TV too. Just thought I will pen my thoughts. Just feel that instead of taxing people this way, they could remove the subsidy given in the IITs & IIMs …or mabbe give it as a government loan ( a low interest loan?!)
Will taxing those who go abroad be a problem? How would they enforce it?
Maybe, the government should spend more for primary studies than dole out money for higher education.
It was said on TV that this is to stem brain drain. If they are taxed when they leave…should they not be given some incentive to come back to the country? ( a refund of or a percentage of the tax collected from them )
I don’t think this is going to reduce brain drain in any way…those who leave would do so anyways…pay the tax and leave I suppose. And those who return will do so…It is just a matter of getting in some money!!
Something that my simple brain was thinking!!
How many times would we have heard the title told to us by different people at different times? One should have heard variations of that statement…
Can one really do that though is my question! Take what appeals to you and leave the rest that hurts ?! Is it that easy?
To me personally, I can do neither. Both appreciative and insensitive remarks affect me…the latter more so
How can someone ignore other people or their remarks?? We do know that man is a social animal Don’t live by what the society says they say…but don’t we live in the same society?? Catch 22?!? We form the society we say…but there are so many different opinions…which ones should we listen to, react and the question is can we really ignore what does not appeal to us?
There might be people who have mastered that art…I certainly am not one of them. I fret about everything said about me…especially those not so appealing (for me that is ) comments. I wonder if I can change something or try justify my position. Am I wrong? Or should I start getting answers ready for why I am right?!
I know I cannot change overnight…but one thing I am trying is to not let comments affect my life (which itself is a task - mind you!) Hope I can get to a comfortable place soon!!
As a plaque at home says “LORD Grant me patience but HURRY!”
Who can one trust? We can always think all our friends are trustworthy and dependable….but are they really? When faced with serious problems and you turn toward these friends…the one who is there rock solid; ready to lend you their shoulders - they are the real ones; not ones who end up dissecting the situation more, judging you and making you justify yourself; resulting in hurting you more at that point of time.
Sometimes these problems are a good thing In the face of them, you get to know your real friends The upside of trouble I suppose. Blessing in disguise?!?
I guess this is more of a continuation of my previous entry about what to say when . Thing is you are also in a situation where you cannot do away with those “friends” just that we can be wary of them and their attitude.
Of course makes one feel that to be on the safe side, parties in trouble should talk it out among themselves instead of involving “friends” so that they are saved of the impending hurt.
Just throwing this out there….am glad I have really great friends and have stuck by me for quite a long time now. They are the kind who say “when life hands you Lemons, ask for soda & salt and call me over…” and they probably will get the soda and salt for you Boy am I blessed!!
