Who can one trust? We can always think all our friends are trustworthy and dependable….but are they really? When faced with serious problems and you turn toward these friends…the one who is there rock solid; ready to lend you their shoulders – they are the real ones; not ones who end up dissecting the situation more, judging you and making you justify yourself; resulting in hurting you more at that point of time.
Sometimes these problems are a good thing 🙂 In the face of them, you get to know your real friends 😉 The upside of trouble I suppose. Blessing in disguise?!?
I guess this is more of a continuation of my previous entry about what to say when . Thing is you are also in a situation where you cannot do away with those “friends” just that we can be wary of them and their attitude.
Of course makes one feel that to be on the safe side, parties in trouble should talk it out among themselves instead of involving “friends” so that they are saved of the impending hurt.
Just throwing this out there….am glad I have really great friends and have stuck by me for quite a long time now. They are the kind who say “when life hands you Lemons, ask for soda & salt and call me over…” and they probably will get the soda and salt for you 😉 Boy am I blessed!! 😀
This article in The Hindu struck me…it did not really shock me as it would have maybe years back. It still jolts me to think that woman killed her young kids!!! Why did it not shock me??
Well, the article talks about sore marriage driving her to do this…I think many women would relate to a sore marriage in an alien country. They leave their home to be with the man they love…when reality sets in, it gets difficult. The country is alien, no family near by and very few people you can really trust. The guy goes out the whole day to work (well, he has to get the bacon home!). The women are stuck at home, winters especially being harsh. Slowly it gets to you. Misunderstandings happen. If they are not managed, either the woman lives in depression almost all the while or ends up like this in an extreme case.
Mabbe movies like Provoked: A True Story gave the woman the idea to set fire to the house with her in it…but the children?!?
Don’t know what the real story behind that headline is….what the “medical condition” is or anything…but what made me write this post is because I feel that this is just an extreme (really extreme ) reaction to a troubled marriage. Point is many marriages become troubled due to circumstances….like those I listed. Some ignore it and it becomes a kind of status quo, some end up in separation, some are dealt with constant arguments/disagreements….
What can be done?? The men can be more understanding to the plight of the woman he has married, who has left a lot to be with the one she loves. The woman can find ways to get out of the rut of loneliness, joblessness and all those nesses with the support of family& friends (easier said than done…but definitely doable) More than anything civil conversation with mutual understanding between the husband and wife…no accusations, total support for each other, burying past disagreements (got atleast a million more that will come up in daily life 😉 ) , total trust in each other….will definitely go a long way. One should realise the sacrifices made by the other and acknowledge it. Live with each other’s faults and pluses…try enhance the pluses, suppress the faults…
Sounds good atleast in theory…should be implementable atleast to a certain extent. Have heard many “successful” couples say that marriage is constant work 🙂
Bottomline…whatever drove her to take her life, I really condemn murder of that lady’s kids!!!
Today is our 60th Independence Day. The day was not too different for me except for the tv programmes which were mostly cinema based on most channels!! Even playhouse Disney featured movies from 10 am to 6 pm. Don’t know what the significance is ?!?
Was reading this article featured in The Hindu. I accept most of the author’s views….and do say that the concept of “independence” as being a political abstraction, a dated concept, a state of being that is taken for granted because we have never known otherwise.
He also talks about careers in engineering, business, medicine and law being preferred. I remember the time when my brother took up BHM degree and people were totally unaware of the such a thing or field. To them, anything concerning hotels was cooking -being a chef (pronounced as spelt 😉 ) Though, today I find a lot of people are aware of many options. The majority still are stuck to the traditional choices listed…fields like biotechnology, environmental sciences, tourism, hotel mgmt, the list goes on…though all these students have to do additional courses spend more money on courses like programming or whatever to enhance their chances to get a job in this populous place. Engineers are taken into top IT firms through campus placements… Think about doing a masters say in the US….most schools do not recognise a 3 year degree… I digress as usual
One more point that was made was about schools. I have not visited my schools but did meet a few teachers. Surprisingly, my teachers had the same comment…it is not like old times. My school supposedly supports individual thought….in the end though it is the results in class X and XII that count toward getting an admission into whatever course they decide or is decided for them. To excel in those, they have to study all the concepts… e=mc^2 will be just that…won’t it?? Maths and science could be understood and students face exams…but saying out a formula will be just that…it cannot be called studying by rote. I make my son repeat numbers or alphabets…it is not to say that he is learning to read by rote?!? Alphabets cannot change….repetition just helps him learn those. He says things are not changing with times…if one does not learn the basic concepts…how does one figure out advanced things?!? About cell phones with students…yes, everybody seems to have them….but rules can be made to let them use those only during emergency situations instead of banning them. Question is who would police them right? True that teachers can go a step forward and make things interesting by incorporating technology…mabbe get help from the internet and submit reports or something (not plagiarise 😉 ) For that, the teachers must become internet savvy too…
He has not written about how most of us Indians are just armchair sportspeople. A population of more than a billion and not many achievements to fill the pages in sports!! Poverty is still a battle. Rich becoming richer, poor being just the same if not worse right?
Basically I think we should be proud of the progress we have made in these 60 years since we got independence….people comparing us with the USA should realise that they got their independence 231 years ago!! We cannot sit on our laurels…We do have a looooooooong way to go…. but I am proud to be Indian.
My son is almost 3 years old now. Trying to teach him numbers. He seems to recognise most of the numbers atleast till 10. There are times when he just keeps saying something or the other…when he lists the numbers…it is not always in order…he just skips a few of them. That is not what is funny…but there are times when he goes “onety, nineteen, twenty, thirty!!”
Funny how the brain works right?? When I think about that…though I laugh when he says that..I think as to why it is ten, eleven and so on…why not onety, onety one, onety two and so on?? Might make it a wee bit easier?!?
Well if one can get used to Pluto not being a planet….why not this?? 🙂
As a matter of fact, I am still not able to say that there are only 8 planets…so I guess I would not be too keen on a change like this in listing numbers…still…something to think about right? 🙂
Well, why does it hurt so much when someone else tells you that you are fat…though you know that you probably can be termed that?!? You probably call yourself fat/ overweight and the likes. Is it because it reiterates those facts? When is it ok for someone to tell you that you are fat? To me, it is when the person is genuinely interested in you and your well-being. Otherwise, they better not comment (even to accept when you say you are fat 🙂 ) cos it is none of their worry.
On the same lines, how does one react to remarks like this on one’s appearance -be it your weight, your looks, clothes…whatever!?!? Obviously everyone likes appreciation…but when it comes to the negative remark..how does one deal with that? If the person is close enough to you and you trust them, I suppose then I would take their comment into consideration. But just a “friend” saying something , though I know it should not matter, it hurts. How does one deal with that?? How does one react to such people?
As I have said earlier I don’t think I have the knack to deal with people 🙂
Stuck in an impossible situation….one talking to a friend…what would one really want to hear at that time? We say we want an honest opinion..do we really mean it? We say we don’t want to hear clichés on hope, destiny blah blah….again do we really mean it?
So, what should one say to another in that place? Give an honest opinion…it might hurt the other more…say a cliché, it sounds so artificial…
I have faced this…been given honest opinions which I just wanted to refute but could not as the other person was supposedly lending a supporting shoulder. I guess I would have preferred to just hear clichés from such a person. I also find myself being able to accept honest opinions from some people; but the same from some one else – just irritates me and makes me feel worse at that point of time to be put in that situation to hear those from that person! Don’t know if my previous statement made any sense. 🙂
Should I blame the situation, myself, the other person or what the other person is saying?? I guess it is an art talking to people. One would take ages to master and to some it is just inherent. For some people like me, even the best meaning statements are taken in the wrong sense by some….mabbe it is me, or mabbe it is just that the other person does not like me saying anything at all. As I find those people always mistake me…whatever I say or do. I should learn to ignore those…or just learn what one really wants hear from the other at every single turn…easier said than done 😉
I am in India on a long vacation (not really planned it to be long, but ending up to be one 🙂 ). One does notice a lot of changes each time one visits the country. What hit me this time was how people are going toward unhealthy eating habits more and more…
One particular ad kinda jolted me. It is for a packed fresh(oxymoron?!?) fruit juice which ends with a mom-son duo saying “Ab koi paani nahi maangega! (no one would ask for water anymore!)” I have been reading about how you must take the whole fruit instead of the juices because of sugar content and less fibre etc.., And here I am looking at an ad that says no one would ask for water ( Obviously there are articles over articles claiming how important it is to drink water…am sure it is more so in a hot country like India!!)
So, I guess along with the spending power, increase in loans, traffic and all else…ill-health is also being spread
Hope we improve economically and learn not to repeat the mistakes made by places we are trying to emulate…
Was reading this entry in my friend’s blog. That set me thinking about the same thing – doing the right thing. Starting from obeying traffic laws knowing you can get away with it if you don’t to bigger stuff.
I have always been open, honest, forthright. Off late, I have been chided for the same to the extent to make me regret being all that I am. Do I change because people around me say I should not be who I am and live a lie? The rebel in me shouts a no in my head. Why should I compromise and be what I am not? If everyone was just the same and reacted similarly…where would the variety in life be? Would we not all be robots? I digress. Thing is not just about changing but changing to do something wrong?!? I understand if someone said one should not lie, hurt etc.., but to say that you should not be honest…?!? One wonders!?!?
About being robots…mabbe will pen down my thoughts later on sometime 🙂