Marriage – ?!?!?!

This article in The Hindu struck me…it did not really shock me as it would have maybe years back. It still jolts me to think that woman killed her young kids!!! Why did it not shock me??
Well, the article talks about sore marriage driving her to do this…I think many women would relate to a sore marriage in an alien country. They leave their home to be with the man they love…when reality sets in, it gets difficult. The country is alien, no family near by and very few people you can really trust. The guy goes out the whole day to work (well, he has to get the bacon home!). The women are stuck at home, winters especially being harsh. Slowly it gets to you. Misunderstandings happen. If they are not managed, either the woman lives in depression almost all the while or ends up like this in an extreme case.
Mabbe movies like Provoked: A True Story gave the woman the idea to set fire to the house with her in it…but the children?!?
Don’t know what the real story behind that headline is….what the “medical condition” is or anything…but what made me write this post is because I feel that this is just an extreme (really extreme ) reaction to a troubled marriage. Point is many marriages become troubled due to circumstances….like those I listed. Some ignore it and it becomes a kind of status quo, some end up in separation, some are dealt with constant arguments/disagreements….
What can be done?? The men can be more understanding to the plight of the woman he has married, who has left a lot to be with the one she loves. The woman can find ways to get out of the rut of loneliness, joblessness and all those nesses with the support of family& friends (easier said than done…but definitely doable) More than anything civil conversation with mutual understanding between the husband and wife…no accusations, total support for each other, burying past disagreements (got atleast a million more that will come up in daily life 😉 ) , total trust in each other….will definitely go a long way. One should realise the sacrifices made by the other and acknowledge it. Live with each other’s faults and pluses…try enhance the pluses, suppress the faults…
Sounds good atleast in theory…should be implementable atleast to a certain extent. Have heard many “successful” couples say that marriage is constant work 🙂
Bottomline…whatever drove her to take her life, I really condemn murder of that lady’s kids!!!

Indian Independence Day

Today is our 60th Independence Day. The day was not too different for me except for the tv programmes which were mostly cinema based on most channels!! Even playhouse Disney featured movies from 10 am to 6 pm. Don’t know what the significance is ?!?
Was reading this article featured in The Hindu. I accept most of the author’s views….and do say that the concept of “independence” as being a political abstraction, a dated concept, a state of being that is taken for granted because we have never known otherwise.
He also talks about careers in engineering, business, medicine and law being preferred. I remember the time when my brother took up BHM degree and people were totally unaware of the such a thing or field. To them, anything concerning hotels was cooking -being a chef (pronounced as spelt 😉 ) Though, today I find a lot of people are aware of many options. The majority still are stuck to the traditional choices listed…fields like biotechnology, environmental sciences, tourism, hotel mgmt, the list goes on…though all these students have to do additional courses spend more money on courses like programming or whatever to enhance their chances to get a job in this populous place. Engineers are taken into top IT firms through campus placements… Think about doing a masters say in the US….most schools do not recognise a 3 year degree… I digress as usual
One more point that was made was about schools. I have not visited my schools but did meet a few teachers. Surprisingly, my teachers had the same comment…it is not like old times. My school supposedly supports individual thought….in the end though it is the results in class X and XII that count toward getting an admission into whatever course they decide or is decided for them. To excel in those, they have to study all the concepts… e=mc^2 will be just that…won’t it?? Maths and science could be understood and students face exams…but saying out a formula will be just that…it cannot be called studying by rote. I make my son repeat numbers or alphabets…it is not to say that he is learning to read by rote?!? Alphabets cannot change….repetition just helps him learn those. He says things are not changing with times…if one does not learn the basic concepts…how does one figure out advanced things?!? About cell phones with students…yes, everybody seems to have them….but rules can be made to let them use those only during emergency situations instead of banning them. Question is who would police them right? True that teachers can go a step forward and make things interesting by incorporating technology…mabbe get help from the internet and submit reports or something (not plagiarise 😉 ) For that, the teachers must become internet savvy too…
He has not written about how most of us Indians are just armchair sportspeople. A population of more than a billion and not many achievements to fill the pages in sports!! Poverty is still a battle. Rich becoming richer, poor being just the same if not worse right?
Basically I think we should be proud of the progress we have made in these 60 years since we got independence….people comparing us with the USA should realise that they got their independence 231 years ago!! We cannot sit on our laurels…We do have a looooooooong way to go…. but I am proud to be Indian.
Jai Hind!!!