Nostalgic :)

I am just remembering Ms Hamsa Ramdas (my high school principal). The quote that she often used when we were students “Nothing is impossible. Nothing is too late!”.Β  Been a while since I thought about the good old school days and for the past couple of days while chatting with old schoolmates, this quote came up each time!!

Made me kind of nostalgic about school and my principal. Golden words our teachers tell us that make more sense only when we grow up maybe?

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Common thread :)

I was just reading random blogs and landed on this entry. Common thread is in many ways, it was Laksh who inspired me to blog.

What other things struck me? The feeling of making friends in the blogsphere. People you don’t know suddenly become pillars of strength even during testing times. The need for assurance through comments. Blogging most of the time seems to be a place to vent or share. When somebody reacts to what has been keyed in, it feels pretty reassuring.

Certain other things that struck me was how many of us have similar stories or experiences. Makes one feel that there is someone out there who might be going through something similar – good or bad πŸ™‚

Here’s to all my blogsphere friends. Thanks Laksh to have inspired me and others like me to get going like this πŸ˜€ Hope I have happier moments to share with all.

Ping me! he said :)


This was an image that an ex-colleague of mine sent me today. I keep telling him and others there not to compromise on their lives and not make work the be all and end all of life!

He said “Ping me often!”

Amused though I am, it also reflects how pathetic our work lives become! Here’s to hoping things improve (my πŸ˜€ day is still not over, hence the positive nature πŸ˜‰ )

Thanks P for the pic.

:D

The title says it all today. I have this stupid grin on my face. Feel light and happy. I feel like life is good and it will be fine. Don’t know how long this feeling is going to last especially for a pessimist like me πŸ˜€ …but I am enjoying it today; right here, right now!

When I have rambled on about my bad days, I thought I should make a note of a good day too πŸ˜€ Seems like there is one too many of πŸ˜€ in this entry πŸ˜‰

Footnote: When I was getting a new Calvin& Hobbes quote on my FB page, this was what I got “If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are? -Hobbes” Β Well, I am going to enjoy this particular good day , I realise how precious it is. πŸ˜€

OMG!

It has taken me a while to realise that I was in such a dead end marriage…living life as a doormat. Not that my position has improved greatly…but hoping it would soon enough. Why this post then? Well, off late, I have been told by some friends of mine; rather hinted upon that the one person I want out in my life might come back maybe (as he has not yet filed for the divorce! their ideas…), repent for his ways and I should accept him – for whatever reasons.

True, at one point, I would have done anything to stay with him. Now though, I am pretty clear. I want him out of my life and A’s. Any suggestions otherwise just infuriate me.

Don’t quite know why such things even come up especially from some who know every bit of what has transpired to the demise of my marriage. Is it Indian mentality? It took a lot out of me to get out of the trap mentally. It pains me to go through all these ideas of how he might come back, how I must forgive & forgetΒ  and all that!!! Sheer agony! So…please stop! Now all I want is to get on with life with my son.

Plagued with paranoia :)

I am a pessimist by nature. So, when things go wrong, despair just boils over in me. At this time, I am plagued by people getting me to think about worst case scenarios!! That essentially puts my paranoia on overdrive! The what-ifs…even those that I don’t think of people come up with! (and I do come up with a lot of them myself!!) So, one can imagine how hopeless things become at that point.

Well, learnt a new word though πŸ™‚

WeltΒ·schmerz Β [velt-shmerts] –noun German.Β : sorrow that one feels and accepts as one’s necessary portion in life; sentimental pessimism.

Sounds nice does it not? Well, let me get back to my world of what ifs and what if nots hoping not to drown as a result! πŸ™‚

Yet again

Yet again a post in Laksh’s blogΒ prompted me to write this entry. I am not listening to a lot of English songs here in Chennai, but this post made me check this one out on youtube. I like the song no doubt. Have listened to quite a few songs which talk about how one needs to be stronger etc.., I have loved those songs too. When I hear them, I appreciate the sentiment. Do I really follow it? That is a totally different aspect!

There are times I put myself first; and then actually feel guilty of doing so! These lines…

wish there was more
I could say
another fairy tale fades to grey

I’ve lived on hope
like a child
walking that mile
faking that smile
all the while
wishing my heart had wings

strike a chord somewhere! I don’t fake my smile though. I still manage to smile even through all the mess that I am going through right now. The fairy tales have faded, don’t really believe in hope any more. Trying to dredge through each day. I don’t really feel bad to say that I live for A at the end of the day.

Am I proud of myself or the life I lead? No; but as a friend says I need a huge shot of self-confidence. Maybe some day I might be proud of the way A turned out (the flicker of hope?!? πŸ˜€ )

Well, whatever it is about me – I do look up and appreciate the strong women around me; strong in their own way. The one strong woman who I should probably draw huge inspiration from is probably my mother who still instils strength in me though being bedridden as she is πŸ™‚ I am proud to be her daughter; hope she can be proud of me some time!

Just when things seemed fine…

A couple of days back I was thinking, alright things seem fine; just a few creases to be ironed out in my life (like the divorce πŸ™‚ ) for sanity. The next day, my world is back to square 1. For various reasons, especially my stand not to compromise on the A being my priority has landed me in a place where I am looking for a job all over again.

One thing I realised in this experience is how people still think that work is only if you put in more than 8 hours even when not necessary; work saturdays and sundays! Don’t have a life outside of work; if you say you do, means you cannot handle the pressure at work! Living by the mantra that “work is life”! Something that I found even more weird is the meek acceptance of the above!

Once more I spoke my mind, stood by what I believed. I am sure I have not even made a small dent on any mind there. Just hope more people stand up and have a life out of work. Once more I conclude that this world is not for open, honest and straightforward people! πŸ™‚

One small thing though, I made some really nice friends here also πŸ™‚ Thanks to them, I had enjoyed the short time I had there.

After some thought!

I, as usual kept debating whether to write this up or not… well the result is obvious πŸ™‚ Today was A’s first day at school. Got all things ready the previous night, tried and failed miserably at trying to get him to sleep early πŸ˜‰ He woke up without a problem though; got ready and was all excited. I accompanied him on his school van; though was not allowed to attend school with him. So, waited out anxiously. A had started bawling when he had to let go and get in! I was worried sick about what he was upto. One of the teachers told me he was doing fine! 3 hours up; he came out and hugged me full of stories the top one being all other kids were crying!!! lol!!! Still getting bits and pieces of information of what he did inside. Getting the school to also settle…after all they have to take care of so many kids! πŸ™‚ I just hope he realises this is going to be routine henceforth and this is not just a one day trip! I am really glad that he enjoyed his first day and I was there with him to share it. Start of his scholastic life! πŸ™‚ – A milestone!

Writing -definitely an art!

A couple of days back, I had to fill in a few forms – sheets of paper using the good old pen. Guess what? I just could not go on. For someone who has grown up in the good old Indian system of studying which involved writing pages and pages…it was a chore to fill in those forms!!

This made me decide I should write a page of something (actually write – pen on paper types!) maybe even “Sriramajayam” (for the atheist that I am becoming πŸ˜‰ ) Hope I can keep up with this πŸ˜€