Good one

A good friend of mine has this as his status message

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils

Like this as a response to time will tell or any such thing. I know that everyone means well when they say this, just that for impatience personified that is me…it is just not right! So, may be time won’t kill me as I am not one of its pupils? Or may be it would kill me quickly as I am bad student?
Well, one more of my stupid thought process πŸ˜€

That is all?!

My mother never used to compare me with my friends/brother when I was in school. She just used to say do your best and don’t fall short on that. My friends (P & G) who I used to study with are intelligent beyond words πŸ™‚ So, you can imagine if my mum had done any sort of comparisons ever!! πŸ˜€

So, why this prelude? A studies in a school where the kids are not pushed too much and they learn at a nice pace. No taxing homework schedule nor gruelling schedules. My friend’s kid studies in a conventional school, the kind where we were brought up; write all numbers till 1000 or know to write all the alphabets, know them backwards :). No harm in taking that kind of studying. After all, most of us have done the same. Thing is, my friend ended up saying “A can’t do this or write that? That is all he knows?!” and went on to list what her kid could do and was being taught and what he would accomplish by the end of the academic year. I just listened to all saying “Good for you and him!”Β  Told her that I was fine with what A was studying and the pace.

So, this made me think…it hits me. I know that A is not going to be a math prodigy or one in anything. I am fine with it. Him being average or anything is good enough. He enjoys school. I hope I never compare him with anyone (since I liked what my mum did πŸ™‚ ). So, how do I manage the comparisons made by friends like the one I mentioned? She got hurt and was like I just meant well saying you should get A to do this this and that!

Movies like TZP talk about dyslexia and how parents should not push the kid; eventually though filmy ishtyle, the boy does win the painting competition, ends up doing well in science, math and whatever. I know that it would not be great if some other kid in the school was shown to win….still, I heard one parent tell me, even in the movie, the kid comes out above average with care. So, care and attention is all that is required. My kid is normal so that will make him an achiever. So there should be nothing short of achievement!

Too many things that come to my mind. I just hope I don’t end up being one of those moms who pushes the kid. I hope I let A enjoy his life. He has enough and more to deal with already πŸ˜€ – having me as his mother for one πŸ˜‰

Did you know?

Apart from the sun and moon signs of zodiac…there are American Indian, Assyrian, Egyptian,Celtic,Chinese, Roman, Mithraic, Italian, Sicilian zodiacs…just to name a few!? phew!! Check this out! You have a plant, seems like mine is Ivy! Don’t know what that signifies! πŸ™‚

Fascinating I say πŸ™‚

This page of Paul Sadowski is a Birthday calculator…(Nikhil of mirrorcracked: You should have added the details from this page too for your August 20,1984 post πŸ˜‰ )

Anyways, this was time pass for me today. Says a lot about what I am upto in general right? πŸ™‚

Sorry!

Well, I have written about those who have stood by me through all these tough times. I am writing this post to primarily apologise and to thank those friends who are caught between P and me. I am sorry to place you in such a fix.

It is a pity to be caught between two warring(?) factions with loyalty to both. I would hate to be in such a position and hence, admire those who are right there, holding up for both of us. I know you are wishing the best for all, especially A. Thank you!

Hope things get resolved soon and they are not so difficult as they are now. πŸ™‚ The hope showing again?!

What job?

I know am too old to actually think of what I must actuallyΒ  ask this question. Anyways, like everything else in my life, this also happens to be one of the many unanswered questions!

These days am asked to take up some job…the concept being something better than nothing! Of course there are those who tell me, do not give up. Wait for the right job. Take up whatever appeals to you!

Do I take up a job and get stuck in a rut? Or wait and take up something that would appeal to me? Questions like what if the latter does not happen? Would I not be better taking up the former option cos I at least get paid?!

Confused is my middle name…I think it better become my first name even πŸ™‚ Should check with the numerologist if this name is lucky πŸ˜‰

Opinions

I read somewhere about relation between opinions and a bodypart. πŸ™‚

Then I was told this by a friend of mine today “Opinions are not enough for you now: they must be backed by authority or evidence, and above all they must have practical worth and application.” I found myself nodding when she said that!

Been bogged down by too many opinions- Time will heal. Good times are around the corner (which one? or am I walking around in circles in which case there should be millions of corners right? if a circle is made of infinite straight lines?! was always pretty mediocre at math) You will land a job soon. The job market is bad, people are getting laid off. ( Don’t know why I have to hear this…to keep me grounded and to know that I probably might never get a job?!). You are old. You are not so old, age is in your mind. Live for A. Live for yourself. Learn to live alone. You deserve better. …the list goes on…

If all could give the latter that my friend was talking about, guess the first definition can be erased?!

I don’t know why I wrote this entry. Just felt like penning this down!

Past!?

I read somewhere today that “If your past is still alive, then it’s not past”. I think it was one of those Minekey opinions on facebook?! Well, I would so agree to it as I relate very much at this juncture in my life.

I am being told to move on. Well, I certainly would love to, if P would actually file for the divorce he said he was going to since December last! Don’t know what his problem is; just that it is making things worse for me and a few around me. Wishing it actually becomes my past πŸ™‚

Anyways, on a different note…we had a family aquaintance visit us. He has gone into numerology. Guess what? He was like “Oh your name is wrong!” So, bingo!! found the reason to all my miseries. Not just my name, A’s too!! I was fuming….and he goes, ” Don’t need to change your name, just the spelling, but A’s name is totally wrong!”. That was like adding fuel to fire. I was keeping my mouth shut. To my chagrin, the guy says “Why are you quiet? I am telling all this for your good!”

I have a good friend of mine who said…” they are not horoscopes but horrorscopes“. Well, I have written how sometimes I do believe in astrology; but this numerology thing -crap! Sorry, cannot find a different word in my limited vocabulary!

When the guy went on and on, I finally said that I am neither changing my name nor A’s. I have enough and more legalities and troubles to deal with. I certainly don’t want the added name change formalities! He still ended up saying I was rude!!! Wonder what he would have said if I had shared what I exactly thought about what he was proposing!!??

Alone!

The other day, I was hit by a huge bout of depression (nothing new actually!) It was around 10 pm – 10.30 pm IST. What hit me was, I had absolutely no one to talk to at that time! All my friends were busy or would be in bed and I did not want to disturb them. More than that, I did not think I could invade their world at that time.

A had gone to sleep by the time (again a surprise as he usually keeps awake real late! despite my chiding him to go to bed…so should have actually felt relieved that he slept!). Cannot disturb my old parents, don’t think my mother would have minded though. Again cannot put her into pain by sharing my agony as it seems to affect her health.

So, this distinct stab of loneliness hit me. Then the spiralling down happened. I was like if it feels like this now, how would it be down the years?! Boy! am I screwed in a huge mess in life! This is sheer hell for a person like me who cannot never stand to be alone! Don’t know how I would learn. I have written about this in an earlier post…Table for one. I guess each and every stab will help me learn the lesson of living alone. Don’t know. Am I to change my personality to learn this?! One thing I am trying is to not log on, this is the major source of contact between me and my friends.

Thanks to the few who actually cared to ask me if everything was alright πŸ™‚

Bad cold!

Wonder if there is something called a good cold?Β  Obviously this post is because everyone at home is suffering from various stages of a cold. Mine comes along with a great sinus head ache!!

So, when some is like how are you? We end up saying “Oh suffering from a bad cold!” Is there anything called a good cold then? My dad is of the philosophy no medicines; cold will last 7 days, with meds a week. So, he is not taking any. My mom is taking her meds. A well, he has no choice right? So, am restraining him from taking cold stuff, taking his cold meds. He is being a good boy (as he calls himself πŸ™‚ ) and is taking them saying I will be alright soon :). Me….well as usual, on the fence, I take something then, am like no point…let me just sleep it off!

Definitely all colds are bad! Am not on the fence on that one at least πŸ˜‰

It is special… (as in pertaining to species :) )


Β I was watching this rerun of Inside the Actor’s Studio featuring Jodie Foster. I was struck by one thing she said when talking about Flightplan. (Not one of the movies I liked…still)

It is where she talks about how a man and a woman react to a crisis. How a man questions somebody else’s sanity; not his and a woman questions hers. He blames outward and woman blames in. It’s special!

Don’t know how far it is true…but in my experience off late, it has been.Β I have even wished I could blame some one else!

Just a thought, so ended up penning it here!