I miss:

I have been asked one too many times what I miss from my life that I left back in the US (rather made to leave πŸ™‚ )

Here goes: nothing! πŸ™‚ Ideally I guess I should say my home (lived in an apartment πŸ˜‰ ) Well, I thought initially I thought I missed my home only to realise it was all a part of the mirage I was living in.

I do miss talking to my friend BΒ  & U everyday. We used to exchange notes on our daily activities sometimes ended up being even hourly πŸ˜‰ I miss not being there for U as she was for me when I had given birth to A. I miss seeing some of my friends’ kids grow up, seeing A grow up with them. I guess my friends and I have to make do with emails/chats and photos to check on each other πŸ™‚

Other than this, absolutely nothing. I am trying to build my life from scratch here at my age; hoping to make it despite many negative thoughts that crop up in my mind and those planted in mine by others (learning to ignore the latter, and learning to deal with the former! πŸ™‚ )

I have always been proud to be an Indian. Chennai has been the place I grew up in. Life is difficult but it is not because I miss something from the USA.

One parting thought though, I hope my son does not grow up to hate me for uprooting him from there (I did not, was made to…) but I also think he will be fine. I hope he does not face the traditional conservatism Chennai is known for being a single parent kid! He has lots to deal with growing up here, hoping to protect him?!?Β  I guess in this only time will tell! πŸ™‚


5 thoughts on “I miss:

  1. Apar-

    That is a lot that you’ve put in this post….first of all, moving to India for good is a huge adjustment, not sure if I can ever do that. But, will check with you when and if that day comes on your transition experience. I too, have been born and raised in Chennai and wouldn’t want to settle down elsewhere if I had to move back to India. Secondly, it is very bold of you to be a single parent and raise your son, yes, requires a lot of standing up for in conservative Chennai- hats off to you. I am sure that you will raise him with all the good things that school and life in Chennai has to over.

  2. Hi Apar. I know that it is not easy to deal with the negative thoughts. However, it is great that you are taking the right steps to manage them. Life is what you make of it. Take the opportunities when they come and don’t worry about what is out of your control. πŸ™‚ Have a good weekend!!!!

  3. Mitr: As I have written, it was not the moving to India part which was difficult but the unexpected move part?!? I hope A turns out fine despite all the prejudices that we both might have to face. Just voicing my fears; may be we might not face it even!
    Spillay: Hope I keep sane despite every negative thought πŸ˜€ Worrying is something that is inane 😦 unfortunately 😦 Hope you had a gr8 weekend!

  4. I think this is a very brave post. I’m glad you are looking at life in a positive way. Even though you live in a conservative area, don’t you think that the world is changing even while we watch? You are very strong, and your son will learn that from you. Maybe by the time he grows up, people won’t feel that prejudice towards you and him. πŸ™‚

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