learning · life

That is all?!

My mother never used to compare me with my friends/brother when I was in school. She just used to say do your best and don’t fall short on that. My friends (P & G) who I used to study with are intelligent beyond words πŸ™‚ So, you can imagine if my mum had done any sort of comparisons ever!! πŸ˜€

So, why this prelude? A studies in a school where the kids are not pushed too much and they learn at a nice pace. No taxing homework schedule nor gruelling schedules. My friend’s kid studies in a conventional school, the kind where we were brought up; write all numbers till 1000 or know to write all the alphabets, know them backwards :). No harm in taking that kind of studying. After all, most of us have done the same. Thing is, my friend ended up saying “A can’t do this or write that? That is all he knows?!” and went on to list what her kid could do and was being taught and what he would accomplish by the end of the academic year. I just listened to all saying “Good for you and him!”Β  Told her that I was fine with what A was studying and the pace.

So, this made me think…it hits me. I know that A is not going to be a math prodigy or one in anything. I am fine with it. Him being average or anything is good enough. He enjoys school. I hope I never compare him with anyone (since I liked what my mum did πŸ™‚ ). So, how do I manage the comparisons made by friends like the one I mentioned? She got hurt and was like I just meant well saying you should get A to do this this and that!

Movies like TZP talk about dyslexia and how parents should not push the kid; eventually though filmy ishtyle, the boy does win the painting competition, ends up doing well in science, math and whatever. I know that it would not be great if some other kid in the school was shown to win….still, I heard one parent tell me, even in the movie, the kid comes out above average with care. So, care and attention is all that is required. My kid is normal so that will make him an achiever. So there should be nothing short of achievement!

Too many things that come to my mind. I just hope I don’t end up being one of those moms who pushes the kid. I hope I let A enjoy his life. He has enough and more to deal with already πŸ˜€ – having me as his mother for one πŸ˜‰

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3 thoughts on “That is all?!

  1. I really enjoyed reading this post. It is something most mothers relate to. Like you, I don’t like the idea of comparing one child to the other. Unlike you, I grew up in this environment, but now have decided that my children will be free from this ‘way of life’. I teach my children about ‘personal best’ and how they should strive for their own personal achievements (and not for the purpose of outdoing someone else!). I trully believe that the child growing up this way will be a more balanced adult in the future. They will be happier in life. πŸ™‚

    Thanks Spillay! Just hoping A does have a happy life after all. And that this decision also does not come and kick me later! about not pushing him – I mean! πŸ™‚

  2. First time here πŸ™‚ I also felt that TZP made the child a winner eventually, filmy ishtyle. But I think not comparing helps -it builds self worth. I have followed this with my kids, they are fine. (and if they are not, too bad, I did my best!)

    Welcome indianhomemaker! I do feel that comparing never helps and your kids should do fine πŸ™‚ Also, we only can do our best and learn as we go I suppose πŸ˜€

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