Picture says all? Not really! ;)

Sulz has tagged me here. I like this tag. I don’t like this tag. Why? Cos it has made me think about the answers. Why not? Cos I still don’t think I have the right answers?! Especially to some questions… πŸ™‚

Have done my best. πŸ˜€

Rules

a) Answer the questions below, do a Google Image search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, and do it with minimal words of explanation.

b) Tag 5 other people to do the same once you’ve finished answering every question.

1. The age you will be on your next birthday

well….WTH!

2. A place you would like to travel to…

Just one? Puhleaze!

Edit: Muse, the one below was the other pic… πŸ™‚

3. Your favourite place

4. Your favourite food

5. Your favourite pet

6. Your favourite colour combination

Makes sense?
Makes sense?

7. Your favourite piece of clothing

Yoga pants
Yoga pants

8. Your favourite TV show

M*A*S*H
M*A*S*H

9. First name of your significant other

wish I knew πŸ˜‰

10. The town in which you live

11. Your first job

12. Your dream job

got to get a job first!! πŸ™‚

13. A bad habit you have

or

14. Your worst fear

15. What would you like to do before you die?

not just exist!!

Now the tagging of 5 people. Adhere to rules?!

Well…here goes… Aparna, Nikhil, Kris, Imp’s mom, Mitr – you are all it πŸ™‚

Congrats!! :)

That goes to my best friend from school. Trust me when I say she has endured me for a looong looong time πŸ˜‰ She had a baby girl on 19th Sep. ( She missed having a libra and enduring one more in her life apart from her sis and me πŸ˜‰ ) I am so happy she had a girl. I am waiting for A and I to get rid of the cold we have before we go see the little angel πŸ™‚

Now that said and done; I was appauled by something that Y told me when we spoke after her delivery. She delivered in a premier hospital here. Her parents distributed sweets after hearing the news. Seems the nurses, mothers-to-be, their relatives said this ” Why are you distributing sweets for the news that your daughter had a girl?!?” Thank God, the docs did not say that! It would have beenΒ  more shocking.

Why? Why in this day and age this still exists? When I told my mother this…she said her parents never felt bad about not having a boy (my mom and aunt the only kids they had). More than that, my great-grandma was happy having 2 grand daughters off her first son. Guess that is the lineage I come from, so much so I was a tad disappointed that I had a boy (don’t take me wrong…I love A. He is the light of my life….still). I so wanted a girl.

I am not going to be optimistic and say things will change. There will always be people who say they want boys and only boys. All has been said and done about how wrong this is. It still does not stop me from being outraged when I hear such things that too from supposedly educated people (that too nurses?!?! Give me a break!) Though I have heard the comments the nurses have told women in labour which shocked me even more!! If these nurses are like this…why take up nursing? worse why in L&D?? I am thankful that my experience with giving birth was something wonderful. The nurses were excellent. They seemed to love their jobs and they acted as if each and every baby was theirs!! Hope this clan grows and every where in the world.

Wow…I just read my previous paragraph…I started saying I am not going to say things will change and ended up hoping!! Well, that is me!

The Online Effect

I was browsing around reading random articles and came across this one on Anonymity online.

I don’t somehow relate to this at all myself. Personally, I am a person who is nicer to strangers; does not matter if they are those I know in the world wide web or some one I meet in person. Call me stupid, but I also take people for their words as such. I have been told by many of my friends that I must not be so naive. Either that the case or people I have come across in blogosphere have been exceptionally nice to me. I consider that they are really that. They have expressed their opinions, their advice and even their criticisms. That is honest enough for me. So, are we all the exceptions to this split personality that supposedly crops up online or in any anonymous situation?

Just wondering! Or probably as I have already written, I am being naive; or just way too trusting. Guess I am lucky that I have not come across such characters and I sure am not one πŸ™‚

Thanks to all I know and don’t (those who guard their identity too πŸ˜‰ ) for being nice and not nasty πŸ˜€

One thing though, I do have the “online disinhibition effect”. I seem to tell more about myself here than anywhere else!! especially in response to the tags I take up or in my comments and of course all my entries. πŸ™‚

Thank you!

Thanks a lot for trying to cheer me up in response to my post yesterday. It was a lousy day. One of many; but definitely a bad one yesterday. I know every one of my friends means well.Thank you for the support.

My “attitude” has come forward thanks to all that has happened so far. I try to be cheerful and am taking each day as it comes. I don’t really want to hope for anything these days. I know I am depressed, but it is only natural after everything. I am learning not to hope for anything; I am the one who ends up hurt and undergoes the pain. Hence the no thanks, I would rather be a fatalist attitude. Tried the positive attitude, did not work.

So, I don’t know when this will end or whether it will even. As I have written many times over, cliches don’t seem to have any meaning –Β  Time will tell. You cannot go down any further. There is light at the end of the tunnel (well, at times, I really wish that was the last light one supposedly sees!)

I am existing; I live now and then when I see my son’s happiness or childishness. I am scared of hoping for him even cos when I want something, it never happens. So much I have learnt and it is definitely not because I have not tried.

Lousiest mood ever!

Alrighty, I am in the lousiest mood ever. Been a while since I wrote my usual post about how I feel or what I am upto. Well, I am up to nothing. Still the same old failure that I have been for the past so many months. Or is it years?!

I was asked why do you link everything to how your marriage has been? I had nothing else in life in the recent past. Somehow the last almost 8 years soon have ruined every bit in my life. I do not care much about the state of my marriage now. Honest but what it has done to my life is a whole another matter.

I am tired of “the right attitude is half the job done” I did my hard work with the right attitude so far; got nothing to show. As time passes, I just get older with more of a gap in my resume. What has attitude done? I was told I am the only one who can decide about my life. My answer right then in the conversation was that for everything I have to depend on others, how do I take them out of the equation completely? I know I am going to lead a life alone; at that point when there is nothing/ no one to hold me, I can make my decisions. For eg., I decide I want to go elsewhere for something. Can I leave A alone? Who is there for him? How would I leave him out of the equation when I have to think of what I am to do in my life?

Just do it I am being told. Wish it were so. I can just decide and go out to have my next meal in a hotel may be; but life altering decisions -no more Just do it for me. Have done that and am drowning with no life boats around. I am not taking A down with me by just doing something!

Yes, I am a pessimist. I do not deny it. Though I was trying with all my heart, mind and soulΒ  into whatever I was doing. Patience is the answer I am told.

A good friend of mine asked me just recently: “Do you believe in anything or anyone at all now?” He answered the question himself and said “You don’t believe in even yourself now.” That is the truth. I don’t. I don’t know why I exist the way I do. I do not yearn for life with P nor wish my marriage works out. I just “hope” that I do not screw up my son’s life any more than it already is; nor mine for that matter (if at all that is possible!!)

I hate it that I have to lean upon my friends for support. I am sorry that I intrude in your busy schedules. I will try refrain from the same. I already do; will put in more effort. After all, this is also a lesson to finally lead my life alone when A goes on to lead his.

Bored!

Today was a bad day considering there was no power at home from 9.30 am till almost 4.30 in the evening!!

Which meant, no TV, no internet! With my son A in not really the pink of health; he falling sick ever so often off-late and the weather Gods also not being so favorable today – going out was also not an option! 😦

So what did we do? We played with his train set, then his building blocks; ended up finishing his homework (4 sheets! πŸ™‚ lol) …then slept!! Thanks to the inverter; we had lights & fan (no TV cos my cable provider had his power cut too!)

Just made me think of the good old days when power cuts happened, no inverters; forced candle-lit dinners, family time or just sitting outside under the stars chatting away with neighbours catching up on gossip. Care-free times? Atleast for me it was πŸ™‚

It also reminded me of the time I had when the NY blackout happened. That made me reminisce of what I just wrote. All neighbours came out, we were talking (no gossips…just talking infact, got introduced for the first time in years!!) I was amazed at how some did not know you could light your gas stove with a match stick!!!! I found out there was a gas station close to my place there which used a good old pump with no electricity. I also found out I was the only one in the area who had a phone hooked up not using electricity! So, quite a few came home to make calls πŸ™‚ Interesting day it was.

Well, may be some day, today might turn interesting. Having spent “quality” time with A πŸ˜€ Though, I think right now, right here; A and I would have liked to do something else (may be not A πŸ˜‰ guess he did enjoy the playtime)

Whoa! Another tag!!

Ramya has tagged me here

Here are the rules for “7 Facts about me”—

(a) List these rules on your blog.

(b) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog.

(c) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

a) Done πŸ˜‰

b) 7 facts about me!!! OMG! I don’t know! Lemme try

1. I am what people can say is a perfect Libra. Take ages to decide; but once done, I stick to it.
2. I am friendly. Once I am some one’s friend, I hate losing that friendship for any reason, so I will go the extra mile to make up if there is a tiff πŸ™‚
3. I believe in love and in waiting for the person who loves you (of course and you love;) ).
4. I dread to think of a life all alone (have written quite a few entries on this one!)
5. I am a person with a temper, but I never carry grudges. Flare up and forget. I know I should mellow down, have done that a bit but a long way to go I suppose.
6. I will speak out and take a stand by anything that is right.
7.Β  Phew!! Finally…I am glad I am done and don’t need to think further? πŸ˜‰

c) Whoever thinks they wanna do this tag is welcome to pick it up. I will tell you that it took a lot out of me to get these 7 (ok…6 last one I kinda cheated! ) points; and to think it is about me. Well, been ages since I had to do things like SWOT analysis and stuff. I can probably say that there are very few people who really know me and can list these “facts” about me better. My mom, B, Laksh, Y, A, Nana, K are a few that come to my mind πŸ™‚

Aparna is the best :)

Been tagged by Aparna Gonibeed.

The rules of the tag

  1. There are no rules.
  2. Tag 6 people to do this Q&A and leave a comment on their blogs saying, β€œAparna is the best!”

I have done the latter half of the second rule by using it as a title. Happy Aparna? πŸ™‚

What do you do when..

– You see a man (or woman) making a pass (trying to woo / flirt / impress) on a woman (or man) you like?

Don’t know really. Depends on whether the guy responds to the pass πŸ˜‰

– Some one you like, is not attracted to you?

What can one do in this situation? Check some one else out? πŸ™‚ Again don’t know.

– You are attracted to some one, but both of you are in two different cities?

Been there! Done that! Distance in relationship sucks big time. Run up huge phone bills; more sometimes on just arguments! Waiting to meet up. Horrible!

– You are reading a book, and your best friend wants to borrow it and can’t wait for you to finish reading, β€˜coz he/she has been looking for it for all their life?

I think it generally happens the other way round usually :D. If it did happen this way, will probably buy my friend a copy; or just finish my book real soon.

– You help plan his / her career, and then, they go on to achieve it, leaving you behind, alone..

Will be happy that person made it.

– Insert (and add) a new question(s) / statement(s)..

Aparna Gonibeed, Answer the questions! πŸ˜€

Hmm., To pass on the tag. That is tough. Well, whoever wishes to take this one up! Please link it back, so we all can read the answers πŸ™‚

Right again!!

My horoscope for the day reads..

For a period that lasts usually about two days either side of exact time 18:19 your moodiness, irritability and bad temper could cause arguments during this time. You may find yourself losing your temper with a loved one for no reason at all – and they could be quite hurt and confused by the way you behave. Hidden tensions are now likely to surface…

I just read this. In fact I logged on and went blog hopping to take my mind of the flare up I just had with a really good friend of mine. I check my mail…and the horoscope of the day reads thus!! I just lost my head and sorry to have hurt this friend. Though, I would not accept it was for no reason at all. What I reacted on is something that is touchy for me. I know that she means well.

Just feeling now that I can run but not hide!

Patriotism!

What would you call patriotism? I came across this person who goes “I am really patriotic!” then in the same breath would go, “I know you get play-doh here; but that which you get from the US is way better.” or “Clothes sent to to me from abroad fit better than those here. I prefer getting those.” “Let me know if someone is coming from anywhere, get this for me or that.” “The sun glasses even the branded ones are better from there”…well you get the picture.
I stopped telling the person that things are fine as they are here. Ended up not reacting to anything. Then why this post today?! The person ended up telling that I was from a civilized country (ref is that I was in the US for a while!) I am ticked off really. No.1 Does it imply that India is not civilized? No.2 I hate being referred to as the person who came back from the US!! I spent time there cos at that point, my life was there. Period.
At this point, I should also mention an anecdote. This is from a school principal I had to meet. Their school had some exchange programme with kids from the UK visiting around Independence day. They were given those pin up flags. Seems the kids took another flag, turned it over; drew the Union Jack and pinned the flags on either side! Now that is impressive!
Why do people go about saying they are patriotic while all the time their mind is about going elsewhere or getting things from elsewhere? May be I am being a prude or whatever; I don’t condemn foreign goods neither do I derogate Indian ones. We are not in the era where we burn anything foreign and wear only home-spun khadi; albeit why this adoration to all things foreign?!
If life takes me elsewhere, I will go. I would be Indian wherever I go though! I will be a global citizen if and when we can travel wherever with no visas πŸ™‚ (so, I can say that it will never happen! :))
Ok…my rant is over. Don’t know if I made sense like many of my other rants; nor really conveyed what was in my mind; but I just had to pen this down!