I was reading up on Lalita Mukherjea. This was her last post. May her soul rest in peace.
The post evoked a lot on my mind. Just felt that though I want to hear the “I love you”, I realise that “Because I love you” is cruel.
Just facing something that I wish I did not. I am not talking about my divorce here. I am infact just waiting for the papers to sign and get it over with. I want someone to get in touch with me and that person is not responding…the excuse “Because I love you…” I want to say the same words to that person, I want to say that “because I love you, I want to be there for you!”. That person does not wants me to get hurt. I understand that, I just want to convey that by excluding me, I am hurt.
So, though there have been times when “Because I love you” has been stifling, this one situation right now takes the cake in my personal life. Maybe it does the same in that person’s life too. I hate this huge gap in communication!
I did not write any post for quite sometime as I did not want to appear down and depressed. I did not want to write about this person; hoping I could write something positive about talking/meeting. Just that today, I think have hit rock bottom (as I had written here don’t think I ever will hit it though!)…I feel like there is no point in anything! Do I dare hope that I can communicate saying…Yippee!! I am back in touch!?!?