I was reading up on Lalita Mukherjea. This was her last post. May her soul rest in peace.

The post evoked a lot on my mind. Just felt that though I want to hear the “I love you”, I realise that “Because I love you” is cruel.

Just facing something that I wish I did not. I am not talking about my divorce here. I am infact just waiting for the papers to sign and get it over with. I want someone to get in touch with me and that person is not responding…the excuse “Because I love you…” I want to say the same words to that person, I want to say that “because I love you, I want to be there for you!”. That person does not wants me to get hurt. I understand that, I just want to convey that by excluding me, I am hurt.

So, though there have been times when “Because I love you” has been stifling, this one situation right now takes the cake in my personal life. Maybe it does the same in that person’s life too. I hate this huge gap in communication!

I did not write any post for quite sometime as I did not want to appear down and depressed. I did not want to write about this person; hoping I could write something positive about talking/meeting. Just that today, I think have hit rock bottom (as I had written here don’t think I ever will hit it though!)…I feel like there is no point in anything! Do I dare hope that I can communicate saying…Yippee!! I am back in touch!?!?

5 thoughts on “Love

  1. I dunno… I really think “I love you, but…” hurts more! πŸ™‚
    don’t you think so? And yes.. May LM’s soul rest in peace!

    True Nikhil! This one goes with “I love you, but…” Actually in this case, they are interchangeable from the other person! 😦

  2. Hunh. “Because I love you” is usually about “because I love ME”, but I don’t know the situation, so I really can’t say. I’m just glad you have a level head and are taking care of yourself! πŸ™‚

    In this case, it really really is “because I love you”. I have also not been given any other choice than have a level head. It is a necessity. I hope someday I can write and say what all this is about, but this involves another person; don’t want to unless that person agrees?! More than taking care of me, I want to take care of that particular person! more intrigue?

  3. Yes – definitely more intrigued – well, I am πŸ™‚

    Well, time has a way of working things out – it’s just that TIME can sometimes be such a DRAG!!!

    I hope things work out for you – SOON πŸ™‚

    Thanks Bavani! πŸ™‚ I am so hoping it too!! Am still waiting and thinking time is being more than a drag!! πŸ™‚

  4. i didn’t know you’re in the midst of a divorce; i’m sorry to hear that, separation is always difficult, what more a divorce!

    about feeling hurt for being excluded, even though the other party meant it for your own good – actually, i was the other party once, and i did that not because i cared for her (i mean, i did, but that what i did wasn’t for that reason), but because she hurt me (not intentionally) and i didn’t want her to hurt me anymore, so i pushed her away. i was a teenager, and had lots of emotional issues i didn’t know how to solve. i still do this in fact, sigh – the pushing away of people when they hurt me because it’s easier to do that than to say you’ve hurt me.

    not that i’m saying your friend is doing that, just another perspective of a similar situation. in case you ever come across such an individual like me… πŸ™‚

    Yeah..sulz, amidst a divorce. For one thing, I know the reason why this friend is pushing me away. I can understand, yet wish the issues were resolved sooner and we get back on track! πŸ™‚

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