After a tiff at home, I just wanted to head out. So, took A and left. Did not have a destination. On the way, called a few friends I would have been comfortable spending time in that particular mood. There was either no response, or they were busy. Saw the public park on the way. Just parked there and took A in.
He played on a few things – the see saw, the monkey bars (he was so proud when he climbed to the top! 🙂 ). He queued up to the slide…of course giving way to all the kids who pushed their way in 🙂 Then I told him let us just walk around the park. He agreed…and then I gave him the go ahead to run around. On the walk way were puddles of water. It had rained the previous day and all morning. At first sight of the puddles, A stopped, turned around. When I egged him on, he just went amok 😀 Ran through the water puddles. I followed him at first walking. Then, as we kept going round and round the place, I found myself running behind him. Saw other parents asking their kids not to step onto the puddles, the adults themselves avoiding the water, some onlookers looking at A and me as if we had gone mad shaking their heads in that characteristic disbelief. I just looked at the joy in A’s face. It just lit up with happiness. He would stop by the small waterfall on the side. Point to it asking if he could wade in, then proceed. Two times around, he stopped and said “Amma, waterfall. We cannot go in” and then went on running. Not a care about what others were going to think. As I started running behind him, I realised I did not care either. The world was just me and A. How it was then, and how it probably will be for a long time. I got the much needed (and something I have been procastinating) exercise. We both were wet because of the water puddles and sweat 🙂 We were tired but a lot happier than when we had left “home”.
I guess I needed that more than A ever did. A lesson that we have only each other and we should make the most of each moment. Back here in the confines of the four walls, I am back with resentment; waiting to break free…run around in the water puddles with abandon. Live life with my son not wonder when my papers would come for me to sign, when I am going to get a job, when A & I will have a place to call home,whether I would be able to take care of A’s every need…
Guess I should be thankful for that couple of hours of respite from reality. I hope A grows up with the same sense of abandon. Let not reality ever strike him. Let him be oblivious to the stares and words of others which he will have to hear.