Third time – a charm?

Warning: Really long post!!!! yet feel it is so incomplete (ok…I am nuts!) I am amazed at people who could just pick and list just a few… read on with your ears wide open 😉 speakers on 😀

Vishesh has been tagging me. The first one – I told him that I don’t have the imagination to do that one! The second – well, I had already done it….

So, perseverance pays…he tagged me for the third time here. This tag was started by Destination Infinity.

The Aim: Let the readers know your favourite songs in your regional language/ Hindi / English

There are way too many songs on that particular list of favourite songs!!! (This can end up to be one really long post!!! 🙂 ) I do put in a lot of effort to do any tag right; but I think this one should take the cake. Being someone who loves to listen to any music except heavy metal – it was one helluva job to shortlist songs. I remember how my mum used to be irritated and used to ask me if the house was some “tea kadai” (tea shop – generally playing music all the time!)

I have written a few posts that carry some of the songs that I like hearing. Links given below…

Boney M, ABBA, MASH title song
Find Yourself by Brad Paisley
Song from Minsara Kanavu

• My mother tongue is telugu. Though I have not really seen many movies in the language, one song that strikes my memory is Mounamelanoyi from Sagara Sangamam

• From telugu movie Rudraveena, the song below

• The same movie came as Unnal Mudiyum Thambi in tamil – the song in tamil
• Another song in the same movie which has a humourous take with various Carnatic ragas at play on cooking

• One Malayalam song that I love is from the movie His Highness Abdullah – Pramada Vanam

• Mouna Raagam songs – classic
• Rhythm songs
• Nayagan : Nee Oru Kadhal
• Hey Ram:  Nee paartha Parvai
• Anbe Sivam: Poo Vasam
• Dalapathi : Sundari
• My all time favourite when I was in school : Anthi Mazhai
• Kandu Kondein : Kandu Konden , Kanamoochu ennada

• Karna: Malare mounama
• May Madham:  En Mel Vizhundha, Markazhi Poove

The past…

One question many of us get asked one time or the other.

If you could, what would you change in your past?

I really could and have listed quite a few things I could have done differently. Almost everyone I have heard answer this question has something or the other on that list. How one could have not done something, or done something differently….

I have to say here that I know of two close friends of mine who regret nothing. Absolutely nothing! I asked them over and over, if they were sure. They said they were content the way things were. I must say that it is not like their lives have been totally smooth. They have had their shares of ill-luck, lots of ups with downs. Yet, they are fine! They say they learnt from each experience. 

There are times I wish I learnt that composure. I wish I stopped resenting what I had done or wished I could have done something different, said something else. I know in my mind that we cannot change our past. Though I could never answer “nothing” to that question. May be someday 🙂 or may be I would be honest as always in listing what I would do differently!! 😉

So, what would your answer be? or would it be more who say nothing whatsoever to amaze me even more!! 😀

Daedalus

I have Neil Ang’s site on my reader and this is his latest post about his computer namer.

It just randomly picks a name for your computer and of course mine is “Daedalus”. You could also suggest names for computers in that site for the namer.

Total time pass this! 🙂

Judgements

Of  late, I have been wondering how one is so easily judgmental. It does not matter that all the facts are not known. From the limited knowledge, one just assumes and makes an opinion of another person. So much so, uses phrases like “I hate”.

I personally have always felt that “hate” is a very strong word. I don’t think I have ever hated anyone so far. Hope I never do. To every person, there are two sides. Condemning one because of what one hears is pretty extreme. I try see the goodness in most people. If I don’t know the person well enough, I just would hope that one has a reason for what one does. 

There are many who say “oh you must so hate P”. I want to say here that – no, I don’t hate him. I don’t love him but that does not mean I hate him. We had our differences. I thought we were sorting them out. For reasons known to him, he decided to call it quits despite having a kid. He, according to most of us, has made a bad choice. According to him, it is right. Only time can tell. Do I need to hate him? I don’t like the consequences of the choices he made on my life. I am left to pick up pieces that sometimes don’t even exist. 

The worst part of it all, is being judged. I am told I must not care. Repeatedly I say that it hits you hard at times. All these negative vibes. The ranting or the crying does not necessarily mean you don’t have a grip about the situation. It does not mean that you are weak or not so strong! 

Being told that there are people who are worse off than you does not make your pain go away. One could feel sorry for the other person it still does not make your troubles/worries disappear. I just feel it is mean to think “Oh I am better off than the other person whose troubles seem worse!” Each plays with the cards one is dealt with in his/her way. Advice welcome; whether it is suitable or not is for that person who is going through the situation to decide. Yelling or swearing or comparing does not help in any way. Percentages of who are worse off than you also brings forward who are better off than you – right? So, instead of feeling supposedly better, one  might feel worse too! 

It just boils down to how one gets so judgemental. Please do not unless you know every bit of the story from all angles. Do not decide to hate a person from what one hears. It is better not to have an opinion than to form the wrong ones. Am not going to say don’t hate , spread love. Though a little tolerance does go a long way. After all we are all here for this lifetime. Why not make it pleasant for all those around us? 

On the personal front, despite my rants; I am trying my damnedest to get somewhere. I still believe in love. I hope to write about more happy and positive happenings that I & A experience.

Remarriage!

Reema had written this post on the issue of remarriage of widows, widowers, the attitude of  Indian society toward both. I agree to every single thing that she has written.

This post though stems from a different situation – an extension to what she has penned in already. From what I have heard and faced over the recent past; I should say that the attitude extends to divorced men & women too. In this day of rising divorces & broken marriages, I don’t know how many go through all this!

It is so easy for people to accept a man take on another wife while it is blasphemy if a woman thinks of the same. There are some who say, if it happens it is alright but don’t go looking for a relationship. A relationship went south once…so take care or live for your kid, get a career. Suggestions to forget one’s needs or replace them (one supposedly would be too busy to notice and when you do, you would be too old and it would be too late. Worry about it now – then the response Why are you thinking of something so far away?!? 🙂 ).  A woman is not strong enough if she looks for a partner – get a grip! is what one hears. You will be fine! Though it is absolutely acceptable that the man “moves on”, dates, finds a partner proactively!!

I am just reminded of Revathi’s Marupadiyum (Shabana Azmi’s Arth in Hindi) where the woman chooses to be single. The dialogue sticks out in my head now : the heroine says the woman has grown up being a daughter of some man taking that name, then she takes on her husband’s name, then the mother of her kids.

So, when ever will the woman live for herself and not be penalised for it? Let a single woman be; if she wants it that way, let a woman not take her husband’s name; if she wants that….and if a divorcee (well in India you are that…not single again!) wants to live alone – so be it or if she looks for a relationship…why not?

Personal choices have no place! Being judged by society, being stamped as whatever – will these ever stop?There are times when I think single women (widows & divorcees) make that choice because of the attitudes she may have to face finally. It gets to you – the society….even if you don’t want to care, at some point it does overwhelm you to resign yourself to fate!

If this is the plight of women in a city where most of the population is educated. I don’t even want to think of those in villages where “tradition” has its place! Poor women stuck in marriages where abuse is the norm (physical, emotional, sexual….)

I doubt if these prejudices would ever end! At least I don’t think they will in my lifetime. I don’t even think I am being negative here. I feel that I am being practical – cynical yes, but pragmatic! Here is to hoping I am wrong!

Next time, some one wants to say “get a grip!” , “stay strong” – Stop!! The woman probably is doing it already!!

30 questions

Manasa of  Silver Lining tagged me here. I do like memes which make me think, which act as a tool to get to know a friend & yourself in the process of doing them. So here goes :

1)What is your occupation?
Good question 😉

2)What colour are your socks now?
Wearing none

3)What are you listening to now?
MS Subbulakshmi’s Annamacharya Kritis to be precise this song

4)What was the last thing you ate?
Mor Kazhi – recipe here

5)Can you drive a stick shift?
Yes.

6)Last person you spoke to on phone?
Aaarti

7)Do you like the person who sent you this?
Not interacted much with her except through comments on each other’s blog. Based on that – yes 😀

8)How old are you today?
Do I need to be precise?! Well 32 and odd

9)What is your favourite sport to watch on TV?
Cricket or tennis. Football aka soccer too…

10)What are your favourite drinks?
Mocha (or mocachino),  Hot chocolate, Lassi & masala chai

11)Have you ever dyed your hair?
Never

12)Favourite food?
Nothing in particular…anything lacto-vegetarian goes

13)Last movie watched?
The Bucket List.

14)Favourite day of the year?
None

15)How do you vent out your anger?
Sleep it off or yell/scream, then break down in tears 😦

16)Favourite toy as a child?
Don’t think I had any favourites…more of a run around, get dirty, climb buildings/trees kind of kid really.

17)Favourite season?
Any except the hot scorching summers you have here in Chennai!!!

18)Do you want your friends to email you?
Yes

19)When was the last time you cried?
Friday I think…well, am glad that the answer is not yesterday like most of the time I have answered this question of late (I still believe that crying does not say that you are weak !)

20)What is on the floor of your closet?
Don’t have a closet here at my parent’s home but when I did have them; they would have just enough space for me to step in and choose clothes 😀 Shoes, clothes to be laundered, A’s toys(those seem to be everywhere!!!)

21)Who is the friend you have had the longest?
Most of my school friends – have been together since KG

22)What did you do last night?
played scrabble with MsChillPill and lost yet again !!!.

23)What are you most afraid of?
Have said this one too many times. Yet…loneliness is my greatest fear.

24)Plain,cheese or spicy hamburger?
Veggie burger please with cheese 😀

25)Favourite dog breed?
German Shepherds…well all actually. So, want a pug like the one in the Vodafone ad

My dad keeps saying may be the pug would help both his kid & grandkid 😉
26)Favorite day of the week?
None

27)How many states have you lived in?
2 in the US, 1 in India

28)Diamond or pearl?
both & many more 😉 ( though I don’t wear jewelry much! )

29)What is your wish for this new year?
Peace of mind, a job

30)New year resolutions?
None

Doing this meme, I realise I don’t really have any particular likes or dislikes! Though I do find that most memes go around with the same type of questions…

Anyways…Manasa – am done. Sorry for the delay. I have one more from Sahaja .

Happiness is…

Saturday was a day of blog hopping. Thanks to Teeni who had linked quite a few blogs including moi 😀

After wishing JavaQueen and learning about self love day, I headed to Odette‘s blog. I found out that she has a birthday give away contest; the rules are as follows:

Write a post in your blog titled Happiness is…, listing in bullet form what happiness mean to you. It must be happiness felt with your five basic senses.

• Sight : Seeing someone you love after a long time, smile on my son’s face, a beautiful sunset or sunrise, the change in colours of leaves during fall, crisp white snow on the ground, the first leaf/flower in the spring…long list 🙂 

• Hearing: Sound of innocent laughter from the heart, sound of water be it rain, the waves at the beach, a waterfall, sometimes even a dripping faucet !! ;), sound of silence!

Somehow when I think of hearing, I am reminded of this tamil song that is about how various sounds are music to one’s ear depending on situations. Do listen to the song even if you don’t know tamil; it is a good one.

• Smell: The smell that comes when first drops of rain fall on dry earth, smell of freshly bloomed flowers (esp love parijat aka coral jasmine), freshly bathed baby

• Taste : of water when one is extremely thirsty, mum’s cooking, chocolate

• Touch : Feel of a nice warm hug, soft and smooth feel of a baby’s skin /silk, feel of sand under your feet walking bare-feet along with the water touching just so lightly while taking a walk on the beach or the feel of freshly cut grass under your feet, the feel of a cool breeze on a hot day

Just to add, I could not answer the question asked by Teeni when she asked about the 5 secrets to happiness. Here I am listing what happiness is… Weird right? 🙂

The sixth sense though tells me that these are just a few moments of happiness, something one might cherish later on, remember with fondness. So, I must say I am pretty ignorant about the secrets to happiness!! 

 

Then found out another blogger Jeanny also having a birthday give away here.

 

Seems like a trend does it not? Birthday give aways 🙂 Well, anyways…more fun… wishing both Odette & Javaqueen a very happy birthday!! 😀

Self-love day

A friend of mine had this as his status message

Love yourself before you love anyone else…Happy Valentine’s day!

Coincidentally as I was bloghopping, from Teeni‘s I hopped on to Java Queen’s to this post about Self-love day. While you are it, please do wish Java Queen a very happy birthday. Thanks Teeni for letting us know here 🙂

So, here goes 🙂    

HAPPY SELF-LOVE DAY!! Feb. 13th & 14th, 2009 Here’s how the whole thing works:

1.) You’re gonna grab yourself a banner.

2.) You’re gonna post that banner and then tell us all something that you really like love about yourself (thus, the “self-love” portion of our program).

3.) Ask or beg your readers to post one thing that they too love about you!!! If your blog friends are nice, you shouldn’t have to beg…much.

4.) Enjoy yourself and spread the love by doing this on your blog! If you want to, drop me a line or a trackback so that I know you participated too!

 

What do I love about myself? I love my honesty, my faith in love and that I can laugh even when things are pulling me down 

So now what do you love about me? 😀 

What do you love about yourself?

Interview

Teeni of The Vaguetarian Tea Room gave me these interview questions to answer. 

1. List five secrets to happiness from your own experience.

I wish I knew the secrets to happiness 🙂 What has made me happy? Small things really. Nice things that my son comes up with…insignificant stuff most of the time. Hope I get to know those secrets and if global I will share them 😀 

2. What advice would you have given to your fifteen-year-old self? ( I loved this question I got from the Diva so I’m repeating it for each person I interview).
Teeni had a lovely answer to her question. Advice to myself would be “Live your life! Live it up :)” Have a few crushes (am still made fun of for not having had a single one! 😉 ) Years down the lane when you find that someone, do not let him disappear and keep missing him like crazy!! 😦 

3. Is that advice the same advice as you would give your own fifteen-year-old son? What, if anything, would differ?
Well, I would ask him to live his life. Knowing him like he is now, I don’t think I need to advice him about caution 🙂 The other part will not be applicable to him. Would tell him to be honest, trustworthy and himself 😀

4. Are you a people person? Why or why not do you think so?
I am so a people person. In fact, I cannot see myself doing anything alone and fear of ending up alone scares the beegeezes out of me. I have blogged about it. I get mad/depressed when people tell me that I must learn to live alone or that a career/hobby would replace people in life!

5. What, if anything, would you want to invent or create that you would become famous for?
Nice question! Invent or create?! hmmm!! I am so not an imaginative person to answer this question!  I don’t want to be famous but for personal reasons, I would like to find the cure of some diseases. 

If you haven’t done this interview yet and would like to, then follow these instructions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I know I have not done justice to the lovely questions Teeni has given me. I am sorry, but these are the answers that I came up with! 🙂

Pink Chaddi Campaign

I have not blogged about the “Ram” sena. It was not because I approve of it. It was simply because I was too disgusted with their acts that I felt writing about them made me even more sick to my stomach.

Laksh of Musings brought this campaign to my notice.Thank you Laksh! Let us join in – men & women, boys & gals – even those of us who don’t like pink, those of us like the campaign says don’t even think of Valentine’s day or go to pubs!

Here is the link to the campaign. Let us do our bit to those morons!