Remarriage!

Reema had written this post on the issue of remarriage of widows, widowers, the attitude ofย  Indian society toward both. I agree to every single thing that she has written.

This post though stems from a different situation – an extension to what she has penned in already. From what I have heard and faced over the recent past; I should say that the attitude extends to divorced men & women too. In this day of rising divorces & broken marriages, I don’t know how many go through all this!

It is so easy for people to accept a man take on another wife while it is blasphemy if a woman thinks of the same. There are some who say, if it happens it is alright but don’t go looking for a relationship. A relationship went south once…so take care or live for your kid, get a career. Suggestions to forget one’s needs or replace them (one supposedly would be too busy to notice and when you do, you would be too old and it would be too late. Worry about it now – then the response Why are you thinking of something so far away?!? ๐Ÿ™‚ ).ย  A woman is not strong enough if she looks for a partner – get a grip! is what one hears. You will be fine! Though it is absolutely acceptable that the man “moves on”, dates, finds a partner proactively!!

I am just reminded of Revathi’s Marupadiyum (Shabana Azmi’s Arth in Hindi) where the woman chooses to be single. The dialogue sticks out in my head now : the heroine says the woman has grown up being a daughter of some man taking that name, then she takes on her husband’s name, then the mother of her kids.

So, when ever will the woman live for herself and not be penalised for it? Let a single woman be; if she wants it that way, let a woman not take her husband’s name; if she wants that….and if a divorcee (well in India you are that…not single again!) wants to live alone – so be it or if she looks for a relationship…why not?

Personal choices have no place! Being judged by society, being stamped as whatever – will these ever stop?There are times when I think single women (widows & divorcees) make that choice because of the attitudes she may have to face finally. It gets to you – the society….even if you don’t want to care, at some point it does overwhelm you to resign yourself to fate!

If this is the plight of women in a city where most of the population is educated. I don’t even want to think of those in villages where “tradition” has its place! Poor women stuck in marriages where abuse is the norm (physical, emotional, sexual….)

I doubt if these prejudices would ever end! At least I don’t think they will in my lifetime. I don’t even think I am being negative here. I feel that I am being practical – cynical yes, but pragmatic! Here is to hoping I am wrong!

Next time, some one wants to say “get a grip!” , “stay strong” – Stop!! The woman probably is doing it already!!

30 questions

Manasa ofย  Silver Lining tagged me here. I do like memes which make me think, which act as a tool to get to know a friend & yourself in the process of doing them. So here goes :

1)What is your occupation?
Good question ๐Ÿ˜‰

2)What colour are your socks now?

Wearing none

3)What are you listening to now?
MS Subbulakshmi’s Annamacharya Kritis to be precise this song

4)What was the last thing you ate?
Mor Kazhi – recipe here

5)Can you drive a stick shift?

Yes.

6)Last person you spoke to on phone?
Aaarti

7)Do you like the person who sent you this?
Not interacted much with her except through comments on each other’s blog. Based on that – yes ๐Ÿ˜€

8)How old are you today?
Do I need to be precise?! Well 32 and odd

9)What is your favourite sport to watch on TV?
Cricket or tennis. Football aka soccer too…

10)What are your favourite drinks?

Mocha (or mocachino),ย  Hot chocolate, Lassi & masala chai

11)Have you ever dyed your hair?
Never

12)Favourite food?
Nothing in particular…anything lacto-vegetarian goes

13)Last movie watched?
The Bucket List.

14)Favourite day of the year?
None

15)How do you vent out your anger?
Sleep it off or yell/scream, then break down in tears ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

16)Favourite toy as a child?
Don’t think I had any favourites…more of a run around, get dirty, climb buildings/trees kind of kid really.

17)Favourite season?
Any except the hot scorching summers you have here in Chennai!!!

18)Do you want your friends to email you?
Yes

19)When was the last time you cried?
Friday I think…well, am glad that the answer is not yesterday like most of the time I have answered this question of late (I still believe that crying does not say that you are weak !)

20)What is on the floor of your closet?
Don’t have a closet here at my parent’s home but when I did have them; they would have just enough space for me to step in and choose clothes ๐Ÿ˜€ Shoes, clothes to be laundered, A’s toys(those seem to be everywhere!!!)

21)Who is the friend you have had the longest?
Most of my school friends – have been together since KG

22)What did you do last night?
played scrabble with MsChillPill and lost yet again !!!.

23)What are you most afraid of?
Have said this one too many times. Yet…loneliness is my greatest fear.

24)Plain,cheese or spicy hamburger?
Veggie burger please with cheese ๐Ÿ˜€

25)Favourite dog breed?
German Shepherds…well all actually. So, want a pug like the one in the Vodafone ad


My dad keeps saying may be the pug would help both his kid & grandkid ๐Ÿ˜‰
26)Favorite day of the week?
None

27)How many states have you lived in?
2 in the US, 1 in India

28)Diamond or pearl?
both & many more ๐Ÿ˜‰ ( though I don’t wear jewelry much! )

29)What is your wish for this new year?
Peace of mind, a job

30)New year resolutions?

None

Doing this meme, I realise I don’t really have any particular likes or dislikes! Though I do find that most memes go around with the same type of questions…

Anyways…Manasa – am done. Sorry for the delay. I have one more from Sahaja .