Shopping

Β Apar just took the “What Kind of -oholic are you?” quiz and the result isΒ shopoholic.

This was one of the random quizzes I took up on blog things. There are many such ones I take for passing time on blogthings and facebook. Some are uncannily accurate; some not even close. This is quite so. I am not a shopaholic. I remember times I go to shop and end up coming home with nothing.

Though this post is not about whether I am a shopaholic or not. Just that last week , thursday was a really bad day. I was being pulled down into depression. Friday, I woke up and decided new day, will take it that way. Things only felt like they were getting worse. End of the day, I got to spend little money on a lot of books for A. Really good deal. That just pumped me up. I was back to my normal self, smiling away. I realised then that things had not changed, those that pulled me down were still there but giving that money and getting that good buy – pulled me out of the trench. It sure did make a difference instead of moping around during the weekend, A & I ended up reading those books ( more work!! phew πŸ˜‰ but enjoyable πŸ™‚ ) I guess shopping helps. May be being a shopaholic is not a bad thing. It sure beats being depressed and making life hell for all around who care for you.

I know that as long as certain things change, I would be hit by events that would pull me down. I don’t know if I would go about shopping or end up crying my eyes out to a friend to beat that period next time around. This weekend though was sure saved by books. Just a thought as I am typing this – I don’t know if it were the shopping that helped or buying books for A that helped. I think it is the latter cos many a times, I have ended up thinking I am unworthy of things I bought for myself and have felt even more depressed πŸ™‚ Whatever it was, weekend saved!! Hoping for a better week (I think I am overstepping by hoping for a whole good week!! State at which my life is, I must be glad if I get a good day!)

From Malaysia with love :)

Or must I say From Thailand with love?! πŸ™‚

A couple of days back, I came home to find mail with my name on it! I knew that Sulz would be sending this over, yet when you see the actual package, it just brings a smile to your face, a flutter in your heart. Physical mail has become so much of a rarity off late. Even the bills are e-bills!!

So, Sulz – here goes!! A big big thank you!!! I am so glad that I did sign up for your project – A piece of Thailand.

I did feel guilty about making her spend on postage and the piece of Thailand. She assured me that it is alright! I hope it still is πŸ™‚

First thing that struck me, what a beautiful handwriting!! Mum also said the same. A was too wired up to know what was inside the envelope with birds and my name on it. πŸ™‚ Opened it up to find a beautiful picture post card and a magnet. Will sure aim for the moon πŸ˜‰ Thanks again Sulz!! You made our day. Once again – beautiful handwriting. The magnet now is added on to A’s collection which currently is one Tom & Jerry, one Superman sign. He claims it as his own!! πŸ˜€

Hindu

I have written many a post talking of whether I believe in God or not. About whether there is any reason behind many of the customs we follow (or at least read and commented on many posts on my blog hopping!!) Β I have also read a lot of posts on all this -why must I follow these customs in the name of tradition/religion? What is the meaning behind the way something is being done. Way too many questions.

My mum is not some one who used to say “This is the way it is done so do it.” She was one who used to explain when she knew or she would find the answer. We have had many discussions on lots of such topics. One book that P made me read and said that my mum would like (ok! bring those eye brows down….we have been married close to 8.5 years of which we have been together for 6.5 years of those – so we did have some good talks too!! πŸ™‚ ) was Am I a Hindu? by Ed Vishwanathan. Not a bad read.

Now, my mum is hooked on to something on TV. Initially I did not bother to find out what it was though I know she is not the kind to watch soaps. Slowly I ended up watching the show with her. Obviously the show has something to do with my long winded introduction. I find the show pretty good. It is in tamil by Cho Ramasawamy. Features on Jaya TVΒ Β at 8 pm IST. Name of the program ” Engey Brahmanan” (Where is the Brahmin?)Β 

I find the series very informative. Down to earth. Cho explains various concepts in Hinduism, being a Brahmin and lots more using a story as a baseline. Quotes from various scriptures, explanations in lay person’s terms. So suffice to say I am hooked on too. Feels good to watch something with my mum, followed by discussions (sometimes heated arguments even πŸ˜‰ )

If any of you is interested, do catch it. I know that LakshΒ Β & Ms CP might be interested…. Catch it πŸ™‚

A tag by IHM

Mother’s Day today. It is not a huge deal at my place. My mum used to tell me, “do you need a mother’s day to remember / love your mum?” or that it is a western concept or commercialising love and the likes.Β 

Though, I just thought that it might be an ideal day to doΒ a tag about motherhood by IHM! πŸ™‚

What do I not like about being a mother? There are days when I wonder why I had A. Look at him as a complication or a liability. Would I give up on him? No, never! He is the one who brings a smile (a genuine one) in everyone’s face here at home. A source of joy.

So onto the tag… what do I no like about being Β a mother?

  • Worrying about how A would turn out. (Especially with a mum like me πŸ™‚ and no one else)
  • Worrying about what the impact of this divorce is going to be on him.
  • Terrified about whether I would be able to provide for him (anything and everything that he needs and knowing what he would!)
  • Being blamed for disciplining him.
  • Worrying about spoiling him rotten if I did not discipline him (Where is that line?)
  • Making him eat right being such a chore (Why can’t he just know what and how much to eat?! )
  • Seeing him being so sensitive at this tender age, wishing he would not grow up too soon.

A is young. I guess I have a lot more to go through. This is probably just the beginning. The list might grow longer. It might lose a few points. This is a love -hate kind of thing. I love being a mother, having A in my life. I also hate it. It is difficult to pin point how, why and all that. The balance keeps shifting. Don’t know when it would settle or if it would. All said and done, I love my son and think that people who have decided to stay away from a gem like him are the biggest fools on earth!!

There you go IHM. I don’t know if I have done justice to your tag but I just wrote what came to my mind as usual. It might be a little too blunt but it is just how I feel! πŸ™‚

Good…or otherwise?!

It has been a while since I posted. The last post I did was something that was in my drafts folder. What have I been up to?

Nothing really. At the same time, I could say I have been busy! Weird, right? I have been going through ups and downs emotionally. Most of the ups are totally thanks to my dear son A. The downs – well, guess better left alone I suppose.

The last few days I decided not to log on to check my mail even. It was more like a test to myself if I could stay away! ( The decision was aided by circumstances too πŸ™‚ ) So, yeah I did not check my mail.

Today I did. What did I expect? Personal mails? I had close to 100 mails. Out of which 2 were mails bills, 1 survey, 2 personal mails (from Laksh). The rest were spam or some lousy horoscope mails (well spam again, right?)

So thanks Laksh!!! Your mails were more than consolation. πŸ˜€ So, how must I feel? Lousy that I don’t even get mails? or Well, it is no big deal even if I don’t log in, I don’t miss much?!

I just am vacillating between the two emotions right now. I know that I would probably end up on the lousy feeling which egged me on to write this post. I know I would get comments which would more than make my day πŸ˜€ This is also to say that I am right here and have not disappeared off the face of earth!!