This morning I was playing catch with A. He is not that good at catching smaller objects…. This set my mind thinking (nostalgia struck! flashback!!!)

Having entered middle school, entering a team seemed a big thing. I tried out for kho-kho and throwball. Both were held the same evening. I must say here that I just vaguely knew what the games were. Assumption there would be some sort of training. What I was remembering distinctly was the try out for the throwball team. All I had to do was throw the ball from the boundary and it had to cross the net. We were supposed to get 3 tries. We were given only one!! None of the 6th standard (/grade) kids were chosen for that year. I remember how the captain of the team (an 8th standard gal) said ” You gals cannot throw the ball across the net, and you dream of making it to the team” and she sniggered.  It struck me hard.

I asked my neighbour uncle to help me. He and other older neighbours played volleyball every sunday morning in an over-sized court. He helped out. By a little while, I could really throw the ball from the boundary of the oversized court  – right across the net. Obviously I tried the next year to make it into the team. Did get selected. Guess what? I had to actually control the power in my serve such that I don’t serve the ball that landed outside!!! I made it as captain of the team when I passed out of school.

Why all this story? I was wondering where that girl has gone? That girl who got hurt and fought back, trained for what she wanted and got it. Did well in what she got (fairly well 😉 We lost some matches in the inter-school competition!! :D)

Is this what my friends who know me from ages back refer to when they say “the Apar I knew”. Has she disappeared? Has age mellowed her down? Has she become a plain old quitter?! There are days when I think “nah!! I am still here, I am still fighting and doing the best I can.” and there are those when I would tell myself ” Those days are long gone. This is what it is. Nothing can change it!”

I wonder if this is a case of cascading thoughts. Linking absolutely independent events and worrying unnecessarily. May be it is trying to figure out what the heck I am doing or where I am going in life!! Whatever it is…decided to key it in.


Read it here Laksh ;)

Laksh asked people to respond by commenting on her space or mailing her for this meme. Well, I thought I would post my answers here… 
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
       Dark circles!! will they ever go? I look old for what I am 🙂 yet not so bad 😉

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
       655 INR and some loose change

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
       Bore? Floor? Gore? oh yeah!!! as the children’s song goes …four! 😉

4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
     Tabla beats (as of now!)

6. What are you wearing right now?
     Salwar Kameez

7. Do you label yourself?
     Yes – loser, good for nothing,…and the likes

8. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently own?

9. Bright or Dark Room?
      Dimly lit 😉

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
     Amazing friend! Lucky to have her in my life 🙂

11. What does your watch look like?
       Black leather strap, fairly big dial

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
       Reading a book

13.What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
      You have made a debit card purchase of  Rs.     at   . Total avlb bal is INR……

14. What’s a word that you say a lot?

15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children)
       no one (not even family !!)

16. Last furry thing you touched?
      My friend’s dog

17. Favourite age you have been so far?
      Don’t know! Yet to come!?! zero? cos would have been better if I remained that?!

18.  What was the last thing you said to someone?
       Good night 

19. The last song you listened to?
      Suicide is painless – M*A*S*H title song

20. Where did you live in 1987?

21. Are you jealous of anyone?
      Sometimes everyone! Sometimes no one

22. Is anyone jealous of you?
       Nothing I have can make anyone jealous of me

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
      Cell phone, ear ring, smile( try to at least 😉 )

24. What’s your favourite town/city?
       New york city or Madras

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
        Don’t remember the year but to my parents from the US before 2004

26. Can you change the oil on a car?

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
       No crush. Love – heard he is working in Atlanta, still single.

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
       Heart?! 😀

29. What is your current desktop picture?

30. Have you been burnt by love?
        Anything worse than 3rd deg burns? 😉


Sorry….the answers when I read them now sound pretty morbid but they are the answers right now for this 🙂 Anyone who wants to take it, please do so. Either answer in comments/mail me or post 🙂 Just let me know  so I can read your answers!!