behaviour · emotions · hurt · learning · opinion

Apologies

This post has been been coming for quite a while now. I had been debating whether to key it in or not. Some events in life just push you enough to do just that.

The saying goes,

To err is human, forgive divine

This never had much significance until recent events. You know when sometimes you have no choice but to tender an apology. You know that you had done nothing wrong, nothing for you to actually be sorry about; but you have to. I had been put into that situation just recently. A very good friend said just do it & let it be. I, after quite a bit of debating in my mind, followed his advice and did just that, apologised. What shocked me was that the persons who received the apology also very well know that it was not necessary, yet… acted like they were royalty of some kind and brushed it off. The snobbish attitude just hit hard.

It was then that the saying hit me. Yes, it definitely takes character to accept an apology. The apology in itself is hard to tender. The receiver must have the heart & mind to accept it. I realised that there is more humility involved in being the receiver and acting right than in saying sorry. The way one reacts to an apology does make a world of difference to how the relationship goes forward or just stagnates & dies; to how one would perceive you as a person. The magnanimity will earn respect; and acting otherwise would probably erase the little you would have for the person. Every action has a reaction?! Questions of integrity will probably fill a whole different post. 🙂

Though in retrospect I wonder if my thought that I did not want to actually apologise carried through. I thought I did the right thing as the situation demanded and was sincere. Somehow, even if the apology was namesake, the reaction could have been equally namesake instead of what I actually got. Am I even making sense?! I don’t know but just felt that many of us need to really learn to accept when someone says sorry!

Just penned down some thoughts I had and the opinions thereafter. I don’t know if it is the norm; but felt like it sounds common sensical 🙂 Apologies if I hurt anyone (and I mean it 🙂 )

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11 thoughts on “Apologies

  1. Yesterday i was watching “Lounge” on NDTV Goodtimes.. and it was just about this topic.. well something like this…

    it dealt with questions like..

    when will you accept the apology?
    do we actually forgive..?
    will you forget after you forgive..?
    do we actually forgive and forget..?
    should we forget the lesson..?
    if the person apologises and you know you can’t forgive will you let go of the relationship..?
    if you know you can’t do anything to the person even if he/she doesn’t apologise..and you say to keep peace i forgive.. does that even count as forgiving..?

    i don’t know if it is relevent to the post or not.. but just wanted to share.. maybe i’ll write a post on it… 🙂

    To err is human, forgive divine… very true..
    you put it right.. it takes character (divinity atleast in small part)to accept apology properly which many lack.

  2. To apologize is to show weakness and acceptance of the harshest truth there is – you’re not God. Haven’t you read The Lost Symbol? Though laconic, it fringes on a quaint topic of mythology where everyone is considered God. Pity, but I kinda like your blog! I’m rolling it.

  3. I agree with what you say but one things should always be remembered –
    “One should never apologise for showing feelings. Or else you would be betraying yourself.”

  4. Your timing is eerie because I’ve been thinking a lot about apologies lately. I think you have a good point though. If someone takes the time and makes the effort to apologize, then the person receiving the apology should seriously consider the sincerity and the effort that went into the apology. I have a lot of other thoughts on this subject as well and may need to do my own post but it involves a recent real life incident so it may need to be a private post (which of course you may have the password to).

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