I am sure there are many out there who will go..there she goes again! Well, I feel that too… there I go again!

Mulling over things, I am feeling really conflicted. I know I am supposed to just go with the flow, I do. Then I stop to question. Try find answers to the million things that pop into my mind! Is this right? If yes, where is it going? The whats, the whys, the hows, the whens, the wheres, the whos….name the question and it is there in this tiny brain of mine. Driving me crazy as I am not able to find any answers either! As a friend said, “alright you get an answer then what? you will get more questions from that answer you get!” True enough. So the cycle goes on.

I know it is impractical to keep wondering but just cannot stop myself! I probably will be certified as mad. Then I come across this from a friend

It is us, that is limiting us. The Us that is abundance of energy and power. A source of unfailing spirit that is there to find. We need look inward to discover it. Not run around to find it. Ask yourself before you ask anybody else. That is truth of the life that is Us. Then comes a time when words begin to follow; Words of life,that are breath of fresh air; Healing the contrite hearts; So a spirit of realization dawned to the ecstacy of life. This what we call the “Defining Moment”.

So now one more question – Do we ask ourselves or not?! How do I find the “defining moment” as it were?!

Alright this is one of the crazier posts I have written. The few who know what is going on in my mind would probably get this; for others it might just be rambling on.  I don’t know if I have any power or energy let alone abundance of it; but I sure do want some realisation to happen – the truth of life! Doubt if I ever will find any answers ever! Just hoping that I lose some of the questions. Just getting tired of asking some over and over. For the curious few out there – some are when will I get done with the divorce? (classic example), What after that? so on and so forth….

Just feeling overwhelmed with everything in life so far. I just want some things to get over with, get some clarity in a few others that is happening, learn how to deal with all of it without really getting hurt & depressed, get over the fact that I am not really traditional in that sense of the word, learn to accept my wackiness, live with those consequences too. Knowing that I am not one to follow the well-trodden path, I must learn not to feel hurt when such a person expresses his/her opinion & to deal with handling those. Too many things to learn, too many to understand and quite a few to unlearn as well.

Here is to life, its questions & challenges! May there be more to life and less to the questions & challenges 😉

3 thoughts on “Conflict

  1. I don’t know what to say. I am always asking myself questions too! What if…Why?? It’s never ending. Just want to say I’m here rooting for you and wishing you nothing but the best in life. (((Big hugs)))

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