acceptability · analysis? · behaviour · divorce · emotions · hurt · India

I am a divorcee!

Yes I am a divorcee… I am not proud of it or anything. It is just a fact. I don’t know why I must hide or be ashamed of that? It happened…and here I am. I have my life ahead of me. It did not end there, did it?

Why must people “advise” me to not divulge this? It is not like I have committed murder, I am not a paedophile or any such thing to be secretive about this. The number of people who said…you are going to a new job…Don’t tell anyone that you are divorced. Just say that your husband is abroad!!

What is the reasoning behind this?! Should I be ashamed that I could not make my marriage work? That I am a single mother who has resorted to living with her parents?

I feel that those guys who assume that since I am a divorcee, I will be ready for flings & hit on me shamlessly should be the ones who must follow restraint. Those who box me into some stereo-type…

Why can’t I just let be? Why must I lie? Sick & tired…these are really the things that pain me about my divorce…. Grow up all!!

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15 thoughts on “I am a divorcee!

  1. Whoever says these to you, must be the most insecure ones!! They have no value of who they are as a person. It is the society that rules their lives.

    Tell them all off Apar. They don’t deserve to be even known by you.

    Hugs!

    1. Thanks Scorpria! Society seems to rule all our lives & we say we make up the society!! Seriously, A’s school had called in to ask why the father has not signed on any communication & it has always been me!! When told that this is the case, they have asked me to submit a notarised copy of my decree stating that I have custody. I understand that they are saving their arse! When I asked if they do the same if they notice that the mother has not signed at all…they said no!!!! that is what bugs me! I am ashamed to be a part of this society actually!! 😦

  2. Seriously??!! ..change A’s school..pleedy fools..wats with dad signing..wish things change .. Cheer up …and all the best for the tough road ahead.

    1. Thanks Nautankey!! How is you πŸ™‚ ? Hope things will change…I’d rather just give the copy they ask for than go through the hell of admissions process these days!! A seems to enjoy the school & I suppose he is learning something!!

    1. Well Bostonmindful! That is exactly what happens…judge one based on everything that is actually very personal from how one looks to what happens in one’s life!

  3. You shouldn’t have to carry your marital status like a cross. It is what it is. Is the society willing to ask you to assume another identity? Isn’t that against the law?
    Moving on to schools, don’t even get me started. Remember we both went to pay fees? Did they ask for the father’s consent when we paid the donation? How about all the tuition? Like they say in Boss Engira Bhaskaran ‘Ellam drama da!’
    I’m not saying you should be a proud divorcee… it is who you are. That in no way should question your parenting skills, your friendship, your career abilities or your priorities…
    So celebrate the days ahead Apar… and when the going gets tough remember ‘Ellam drama da!’

  4. Would you be able to share what led to all this? I have read your blogs and find that you do a lot of introspection and self analysis. I find it hard to believe that you could end up in this situation ever.

    Wish you more strength and power through all this.

    1. Hi Anonymouse! I have blogged a lot about everything that has happened. And yes…anyone can be in the situation I am in….just makes one more introspective!!

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