analysis? · emotions · life · opinion · questions · rant

Battles…

I used to want to get it all. Argue, fight it out. Debate with every auto I got into about how they were swindlers. Nothing just went past!! 

I thought I had not changed. I have… Guess the adage is true! Change is the only constant thing in life. 🙂 Though still vocal about things that are wrong… I now decided to walk away from things I can avoid. 

Choose your battles wisely. After all, life isn’t measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It’s not winning battles that makes you happy, but it’s how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is too short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go.

I have fought enough. Failed way too many times. May be that is why I am picking my battles now. 

Yeah I am being told that I am a coward, told I must face challenges, be an example to A… The list goes on. 

Funny how I seem to always be told how am supposed to do exactly the opposite to what I do! Always!! When I was fighting to save my marriage… Hey he has moved on. When I was trying to get my divorce done…. Hey think of A who needs a dad. I don’t want to work, am told it is wrong. I work then am told I don’t give enough time & attention to A. I get into disagreements with parents… Ignore them. I ignore… They are old why do you do that?? Makes it tougher for a typical libra like me!! 🙂

I am trying to find a balance. A cry to just let me be. If you can’t actually help … Do not advice. I am learning to accept what my life is. I have fought my entire life to keep changing it      . Now, I am tired of change. I know I can’t avoid whatever happens … But no am not going to volunteer to fight all battles. If I decide to walk away from one, so be it. 

If I am a coward, so be it. If I am weak, yes I am. It is not easy & yes I know life is not easy, Life is not fair. No one knows what is next… I have made many wrong choices, trusted wrong people. Can anyone assure me that they will help me always make the right choice?!  No is a resounding answer I hear. Will I trust anyone again? Highly doubt it! Way too many times I want to just shut off, save myself the trouble of interactions!! Am not a recluse by nature. Now, I want to be. Save myself the trouble!! 

There I go again… Screaming out thoughts inside my head!! 

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6 thoughts on “Battles…

  1. What is the result of not picking up all the battles? Does that make you any happier, be at peace with urself or makes you to love urself? If yes for all the above….. you are taking the right path. If not…..God save you!

    Infact God is the one that asures you will find all of your answers, provide you with an assurance to be always with you, guide you to be right, ensure the is peace, happiness and love in your life.

    I took up THE BIBLE and this Book helped me! (not an advise but an example) ……. what say?

  2. Do what u feel is right for you .
    Get the job u like.
    Or like the job which God gives u .
    No one to be blamed !

    All is well.
    God is there !
    As I always say .
    Prayers do get answered .

    1. Hi!! Zach is a good friend of mine & a well wisher. He is not being a missionary. He believes in his God and wishes only the best for me like any good friend. 🙂 He also knows that I am proud of being a Hindu which allows me to accept other religions too. Of course as I have written I also am on the fence of belief in God for quite a while now. Thanks for still reading my rambling rumination. Hoping some day something makes sense

  3. Well I have been your blog reader for quite some time as well and a well wisher. Back to Zach – why would he want to humiliate your intelligence and thinking ability? Why would he want to imply that HIS god is better than anyone else’s? I just don’t get the flawed philosophy of these missionaries. Looks like his well wishes comes with strings attached. I hate these agenda driven religious folks.The arrogance to believe that their religion/god is better than anyone else’s.

    Good luck to you Apar – let Zach know not to keep thumping his beliefs to others and looking to convert.

    1. Anonymouse I know you are a well wisher of mine 🙂 and am thankful for that. I may be ambivalent in many things in life. Religion is definitely not one of them. I am really proud & privileged to be a Hindu. I was actually thinking of writing a post on that now that you remind me!!

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