Choices

Do we have any in life? If we believe our destiny is decided already…do we really have any choice? We are also told destiny is what we make. Which theory would one believe in?

I think I have penned this before…everything seems to have contradictory views. Every proverb has an equal and opposite proverb!

• Absence makes the heart grow fonder. ~ Out of sight, out of mind.
• All good things come to those who wait. ~ Time and tide wait for no man.
• Birds of a feather flock together. ~ Opposites attract.
• You’re never too old to learn. ~ You can’t teach an old dog new tricks
• Don’t cross your bridges before you come to them. ~ Forewarned is forearmed.
• Doubt is the beginning of wisdom. ~ Faith will move mountains.

List goes on!! (like life 😉 ).

Off late, I have been thinking (duh….!) . I have been wondering if all I have been offered in life has been Hobson’s choice! It feels like I have a lot to choose from though in reality, there is nothing or just the one obvious. I have been looking back in all that has happened in life as far as my memory serves. I wonder if others share this thought process.I hope there are those who do think this way. I am being told that I over-think everything. May be I do!

Well, right now I do feel like I am taking life as it comes with the illusion that I am making choices (many bad ones at that most of the times! or so I believe that I made them!!).

Reminded of Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S asking “if you know what I mean…” and Monica answering “we always know!”. I feel like Joey right now!! :p

 

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Selfless or …?

First post of the year 2016!

A question to all the parents (especially mothers out there…) Have you at some point of time even for a minute thought…sigh wish I didn’t have that child of mine? Confession: I have…many times over!

I have wondered how life would be without A. I have wondered if he would be better off without me in his life. I wonder how life would be once he goes off to pursue his own in a few years. Wondering how it would be if he were living in a home which is perceived as normal by society…so on… All this sometimes just during reflection and most times during despair/exasperation (sometimes forced upon …).

So, does just thinking such things make one a bad mother? Does voicing this out to a friend amount to him being a burden on me? Suddenly, all the efforts I put into him being happy/healthy (the best I can at least given my circumstances) fizzles out! “Why don’t you send him back to his dad if you think he is so much of a burden?!” . Wow!! Really?

I stumbled on this post on the Onion :  Jessica Drexler mentions her kid is the second-most important thing in her life. Intrigued I read further and she ends saying “It’s mostly about you”.

That sort of thought would not be welcome here…. Mothers should be selfless, sacrificing! What is this talk about “me”?!?  It should always be kid first (or so I am given to understand….else the kid is a burden!)

Lesson learnt! Either put kids first or just don’t voice any idea otherwise 😀

This is a world of only façades….you must not display anything out of the norm. Everyone is and should be the ideal perceived person 🙂

In the wake of this revelation: I hereby declare….I am nothing without A. He is and always be my life, my breath and my all. I am a nobody and he is my be all & end all 🙂 There is nothing called self-love once you have a kid!