I do remember this space exists. I have just resisted the many times I wanted to pen my thoughts. Why have I returned? This is a period of time I have been writing about almost since 2007 if not earlier. Time when A will be off to college. We are a week away from his departure to college.
That was a milestone I kept looking at and never beyond. I always felt my purpose ended there. Now that it is around the corner, it feels more so. A lot has happened over the years. Many lows and not many highs to report. At this juncture all am left with is unrest. I have no clue what is next for me! I am a proud mother, my son is admitted into a good college in a course of his choice. He is flying off with a promise to work hard, prove himself and do well. Wish him all the best and nothing but the best!
I have no clue what is ahead any more. All I know is I need to move and right now I feel ever so stuck – no door no opening anywhere. I am in a place where hatred towards me is quite tangible. I just wish I never wake up when I go to sleep! Am done. Duty is done. Nothing left any more. There will be no one who will miss me when am gone!
Random Ruminations 
What is left is time to figure out finally how you want to live your life without the pressures of being the primary caregiver for your child. Hugs.
Apar, don’t say that nobody will miss you. You are loved.
But yes maybe it is time for you to throw off the yoke and live life for your sake and not for that of another.