I keep coming back!

I thought I would stop blogging. Never return to this space and pen my “Random Ruminations”… but I just keep coming back. I remember way back when I started blogging, had a BlogSpot then. It was just to record events or thoughts….this transformed to a place where I poured my heart out. Eventually moved to WordPress. Journey continued. My blog has been a place where I vented/ ranted/ sharedย a lot. It has given back too – Friends and fellow bloggersย like Nikhil, Sharada, Praddy, Vino, Scorpria, Bhargavi, Aparna, Imp’s Mom…actually a really long list…. (note to self: when time permits, add their blog links ๐Ÿ™‚ ). Was lovely to have met quite a few of them, form friendships beyond the web.There are some who have become friends after reading all that I have written!! (God! you do have patience ๐Ÿ™‚ ), have egged me on to continue posting. Thanks to all!

I decided to stop blogging because I did not want to keep venting or ranting. I didn’t want to be all positive either and not be me!! Since I could not do the balancing act (Libra in me?!), I decided to quit…..and I am back here (Libra indecisiveness?! ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

What has happened since my last post?! Way back in October! Wow! I have stayed away that long!!!! I have been off Facebook completely. Deactivated my account mid-October I think. I confess there were certain days when I wanted to log in and check. Got over that urgeย in a few minutes and I have been away. Someone said that was brave of me. Don’t know where that stems from, though I do think it is quite an achievement for me for having still not gone back to that place! (I am not saying I won’t…..look where it got me here! :p ). I did complete my 100 happy days. Again an achievement (as a wonderful friend said a huge achievement considering the garbage that goes on in my head!)

Obviously there have been lows. Self doubt haunting me as ever. Times I wanted to totally give up.ย I feel I put A through impossible times!ย Situations at work. Lots of ups and downs – Downs always overwhelms a person like me into thinking when will this every end? I know the answer is never and it probably might never get easier despite all the clichรฉs.

I am grateful for true friends who have stuck by me and my madness…some of them have even made it past a decade or two!! (I must not be that bad a person and hope I can remain good friend to them! ๐Ÿ™‚ ). Despite loads of differences, the solid support I get from my parents is something that I must not forget. In a way I am also thankful for those “friends” who have let me down in more ways than one for the lesson they taught me – some doing way more damage than I can imagine ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

It is easy to forget and stray away, delve deep into that abyss of depression. I have fallen into that way too often. Thanks to those who help me get over that – some of you are really patient and have way too much of endurance! (If you are reading this, you know who you are! ๐Ÿ™‚ ). I must add this….I have a wonderful son! A is indeed a gem of a guy, a blessing – one who comes to hug me when I ask for one, smiles & laughs and endures my moods of anger, despair, doubt, depression, feeling of being lost! Love him loads!

2010 in review – Random Ruminations

I got this in my mailbox. Here I was thinking I did badly as a blogger last year! Though I must say the following stats are pretty interesting!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Blog-Health-o-Meterโ„ข says “Wow”!!!!!! (sorry I did have a laugh at that one! ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

Wishing all a very happy new year!

I do not say I will write more…but hope I do have something to write about. Hopefully something good to share ๐Ÿ™‚

—————————

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meterโ„ข reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 8,400 times in 2010. That’s about 20 full 747s.

 

In 2010, there were 24 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 245 posts. There were 8 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 1mb.

The busiest day of the year was January 20th with 225 views. The most popular post that day was Urban Turban – an amateur’s review.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were networkedblogs.com, heartscontentspartial.wordpress.com, words-flow.blogspot.com, acorn.nationalinterest.in, and lakshmusings.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for 30 questions, myheadtrip, random ruminations, 30 questions about me, and madhurika sankar.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

Urban Turban – an amateur’s review January 2010
4 comments

2

30 questions February 2009
10 comments

3

Anybody there! ?! March 2010
18 comments

4

Abuse – not just physical! February 2010
13 comments

5

Update(s) June 2010
17 comments

Typealyzer

Sulz posted this on bloggerdygook. Since it has been a while since I wrote something on this blog, and not wanting to write something depressing I decided to take this and post the results ๐Ÿ™‚ Here goes

The analysis indicates that the author of http://myheadtrip.wordpress.com is of the type:

ESFP – The Performers


The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and donยดt like to plan ahead – they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

They enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation – qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.


Analysis

This show what parts of the brain that were dominant during writing.

Funny! I never thought my blog would be remotely entertaining. I mull over what will happen and what has…forgetting many a times to live in the present! ๐Ÿ™‚ Confrontations – bring it on! ๐Ÿ˜€ That is the kind of life I have been leading and really thought my blog was a bit depressing. In fact that is the reason I have not been blogging. I did not want to keep writing entries that are sad/repressed – the same old problems rehashed.

About the brain analysis – no comments whatsoever! ๐Ÿ˜‰ If it were my brother…he would be saying..”wow!! they analysed something non-existant!” ๐Ÿ˜€

My Superstickies goes to

superstickies

Blogging & me

Over a few conversations I had with a few friends, I realised how regular I was when I was posting on one particular blog. This blog mostly contains pics of A along with a short write-up all his antics. I stopped posting in that. It has been close to a year now.

I was almost? obsessed with that blog. I used to have a camera with me all the time(or feels like it now ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) to capture any and every moment! Was it because of the blogging? Or was it the excitement of being a mother of a growing/learning infant/toddler?! I had (I say “had” since I am still waiting to get a hard disk of all those memories – separation in the modern age! *sigh*) a huge collection of photos; took them almost every day.I think I even took photos just with blog posts in my mind sometimes.

Fast forward to now….I do take a lot of pictures even now. (Confession – not as many as before though! ) but there is not urge to post them or even share them in emails. Initially, when I stopped posting on the blog; many asked me as to why I was not posting, or to send them pictures of A. Those questions and queries have trickled down close to none now. Very few ask to see his photos or urge me to take & share those pictures.

Have I reduced taking pictures as much because I am not blogging? Is it because A is older now (no less cuter if not more- I must add ๐Ÿ˜€ ) and is in school almost half the day? Have I become lazy (become? ๐Ÿ™„ )? Considering that his life is now getting filled with activities from school also – am I wrong in not sharing these with friends & well wishers? I don’t know; but my gut feel says that I must not continue with that blog any more.

I (being a second kid myself) urge my friends having their second one to do everything they did for their first one including baby showers. Now, I wonder if I have just stopped being me with even my only one?! Is it just because I am not posting anything on that blog?

I see one too many questions! ๐Ÿ˜€ Weird! What a separation does to one’s life among so many other things! For those who are wondering what my separation with my husband has to do with me not posting in A’s blog… in a fit of anger, I told my husband that he should stay out of A’s life forever and without a second of hesitation; he accepted. He never once has enquired about A. He had not done so even before that anger fit. According to him; his responsibility as a father ends at sending money. So, my posting recent pics was out of the question in that blog since it was started by both my husband and me! I do not want him to ever see what he has lost out on.

Quirks?!? Me?

Dinesh of 18,000 RPM tagged me.

Edit: Reema of My Random Thoughts has also tagged me for the same ๐Ÿ™‚

The tag is to list 6 quirks of mine. First off, apologies for the delay…reason?! I had to think a lot (been quite a bit out of touch with the concept of thinking too ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) and I came to the conclusion that I am as normal as anyone can get ๐Ÿ˜€ but with extreme difficulty; I ended up with a list….here goes….

#1 As Nikhil said, me thinking of what my quirks are for so long itself is quirky ( I suppose!)

#2 I am way too honest and straightforward that I refuse to cook up my resume much to some people’s chagrin. Is that my quirk or theirs?!

#3 I am patient enough to do 1000 or more pieces jigsaws, separate a mixture of toor and chenna dal (a kg each) but am way too impatient when it comes to knowing what is up in my life!

#4 When I am in charge of the household (the chores rather ๐Ÿ˜‰ ), I hate having a sink full of dirty dishes to wake up to…so always washed them up before going to bed. Talking of chores, I love washing clothes (the smell of freshly done laundry…love it) but hate folding them…quirkiness; I love pressing clothes.ย  I would rather sweep & mop the old fashioned way than plug in the vacuum cleaner.

#5 I play more with my son’s GeoTrax and Lego sets than he probably does ๐Ÿ˜€

#6 A has more quirks than I do (May be I should list his instead of mine like I put up his pics instead of mine for Vimal’s tag ๐Ÿ˜€ )

Now to tag 6 other people as required. I tag those whom I had the opportunity to meet with A last saturday ( a few absentees from the planned meet …but then we are not talking about those especially those who had really lame reasons!! )

Aaarti
Bhargavi
Nautankey
Praddy
Sharada
Vimal

Did not tag Aparna as I already have tagged her and to remind her, she is yet to do it ๐Ÿ˜‰

A & I had a wonderful time that day. Thanks a lot fellow bloggers ๐Ÿ˜€ We definitely should do that more often.