Torn…

This evening, A was having his piano classes. The tutor comes home to teach. Since I was not feeling too well, I was lying down in my room. I was waiting for the classes to get over, so I could head over to meet with a friend (taking A along with me.) Then change of plans, I decided to make some gulab jamuns. Needed sugar. A has now graduated to doing small chores like running across to the nearby grocery shop. I yell out his name…no answer!!

I ask my dad, he says he was just here. Mum (stuck in her room said she didn’t know). I yell out his name, my neighbour comes to me & says he was walking down the road. My mind was in absolute turmoil. Torn between anger and anguish. Where the devil is he? I got into my jeans & tee. Walked around the corner to the nearby children’s play area. I did not see him. I walked around the neighbourhood…no luck!! I was in tears – half in anger & half in worry!!! I had my mobile with me. It rings…call from home. A speaks to say he is home now. I rush home relieved. The moment I saw the boy standing next to my mother, I was happy & furious!!!! I interrogated him! He says he was in the play area playing hide &seek. Apparently when I went there, he was hiding!!! Gave him a earful on how he must inform one of us & then go. I was so scared that I lost him!!! 😦

This was terrible!! As I was telling a close friend of mine….I am tired & done with all drama in life. I don’t want great things, I just want peace. If at all my heart races, it must be because of having worked out hard (yeah right!!!….still πŸ˜‰ ). No more being torn like this!!!! I know this is wishful thinking…. *sigh*

Throughout this ordeal, was thinking what kids put parents through!!! I can totally understand love them so much but want to strangle them emotion!! πŸ™‚

Summer, Cyclone, Traffic & more…

A month after my morbid post, I thought I would revive this blog – well, a wee bit at least. I guess this is a way to tell those who care out there that I am still alive, still existing! πŸ˜€

What have I been up to? Nothing much and definitely nothing great! I am enjoying the work I do. I never ever thought I would be called to that interview, least of all did I think I would get selected! It has been close to 3 months now in this job. I still have no idea what I am up to in life. I still am going with the flow – carpe diem, Nike in life… whatever Β one would like to call it! So far the job is good – has its pros & cons. Learning to live with the cons and appreciating the pros. I realise that I love working with kids, especially those who are enthusiastic & well behaved/ communicative. The smaller ones are really cute! This is part of my job profile Β – to organise workshops for children – the part I love most! πŸ˜€ . I heaved a sigh of relief when the summer camp was over with! It was well appreciated πŸ™‚ (Alright am grinning with all my ugly teeth showing!!!)

Yesterday was a day I would not forget so easily. Laila, the cyclone hit Madras! Closed early at work, but had an amazing, unforgettable evening!!! Β I had left my bike at work thinking I would pick it up today…. my luck followed! I can’t be too happy!! πŸ™‚ I reach work only to realise I had not taken my bike keys! I had not packed lunch, there was none at the cafe! Now I guess this kind of proves that when I have a good day, it must be followed by one that is horrid! Is this proof enough to say that the one up there does not like me to be happy?! Was struck in traffic today on the way back home, had an interesting conversation with the cab driver ( could be a post by itself!!! ) about traffic, rules & people in Chennai!! One costly ride home and one pending back to work tomorrow!

I absolutely have no idea what is in store for me in life?! It is getting hard to live life one day at a time! A couple of them actually commented to me saying they can see my smile/grin but supposedly see sadness in my eyes! I don’t know if that is even remotely true…but these were total strangers who have no idea of what my life is about! Here I was thinking, hey I am smiling now, laughing even!!! Am I fooling myself?! I must stop wondering!! More than anything else, I must stop expecting anything at all from anyone!!

Am alive!!

Hopefully well I must add πŸ™‚ So is A. What got me out of my slumber?! Just missed writing here besides, I thought of penning down a recent experience of mine which of course involved A & a dear friend Aaarti.

Flash back πŸ˜€ Tuesday last we received a circular from the school that Aakash studies in asking for students between UKG and 3rd to register to be dressed as Lord Krishna for a programme by Aruna Sairam on Vijay TV (Krishna Jayanthi special) Krishna Jayanthi for non- Indian readers is the Hindu celebration of Lord Krishna’s birthday. The following Wednesday was another Hindu holiday. Since we thought the registrations would have filled up for the first 100, we did not bother to call the school up to register though A was very keen to be lil Krishna. Friday we thought why not just give a shot – called and were surprised that A was just Krishna #81!!!!!

Saturday: Aaarti, A & I went shopping to get the costume ready. There I get a brainwave; decide not to hire the costume but put things together and dress the guy up. While shopping, we kept in mind that whatever we buy, I must be able to use later and it should not end up to be a one time thing. Had fun blowing money πŸ˜€ Got the costume ready with the help of my mum too. A was pretty co-operative with every little thing we tried on him!

Sunday: Recording day!! We were asked to be at the auditorium at 2pm. We had been asked to get snacks for the kids and get them dressed up completely there. I took A there sharp at 2. The air-conditioner in the auditorium was not switched on. It was a typical hot day in Chennai. So, one can imagine how it would have been inside the auditorium!!! Took A out to the car, got him dressed there. Thank God that the auditorium was closer to the beach (sea breeze had set in, it was getting a wee bit cooler πŸ™‚ ) Aaarti joined me to help me get him dressed. We got in to the auditorium, in a while they switched on the A/C. I pitied every kid there, all made up, in uncomfortable clothes and sweating. Though they really did not seem to mind! We even found a couple of kids playing “stone, paper, scissors” in front of us πŸ˜€ That bit was a delight – watching all the kids around (Kids playing, crying, wanting to go pee after getting completely dressed up!!!, wanting to eat after putting on their make up.. ). Then it was utter chaos. No one really knew what was the plan of action. The sound checks kept going on. Suddenly there was an announcement to leave the kids in the middle rows. When I say announcement it was not on the PA system, it was just a random person who came and told us parents. So, there were some who were completely oblivious to the announcement. With lots of confusion, finally things settled down. The artist comes in with her band, does sound checks. Kids there totally restless. Aruna Sairam sang well, tried to get the kids involved telling them they were the show’s stars, making them dance & sing. The show had 4 songs sung by her & 2 with her and a few kids who had been trained. We also had constant announcements not to take photographs or video recordings. Of course, we all would take pictures of our Krishnas (Aaarti & I did before the programme started and the announcements were made – so I guess we are fine πŸ™‚ )

I found the whole thing highly disorganised. I would also blame the parents & other relatives of the kids around too. They kept approaching the kids now and then crowding around the area where they were seated which triggered multiple announcements from the “organisers” requesting the parents to not do so. Though I also understand that the kids would have been hungry/uncomfortable and needed to confer with their mums or dads. I suppose Vijay TV officials should have realised this and made this a bit more of a pleasant experience for all. The concept of the programme was good, hence the planning should have involved a bit more of consideration that it involves small children. Parents too must have been a wee bit more co-operative! Aaarti and I were joking saying we were such “bad” adults when it came to looking after A. I had just left him where he had to sit, told him I was going to be around. That was that. I did not bother to go enquire after etc…, So, may be I was a bad parent after all. πŸ™‚ I did get irritated at one point when the MC kept announcing the kids to be quiet, parents not to approach the kids etc., I went up and told her to realise how things are. She listened and told me…that she was just doing this as a hobby but will take the suggestions in a good manner!!! There was no one who we could actually approach and ask questions or talk to!! Recording was over and done with. The kids received a packet with mysurpa box from Krishna Sweets (a brand here), a few packs of biscuits/cookies. Announcements were made saying the programme will be relayed on 13 August but the time was not given. I must say that whether every kid’s face is relayed or not, each one of them was cute (some parents had even painted the kids blue or blue/black!! torture I say especially when I was so apprehensive of putting on even a light make up on A!!! ). The kids were definitely the stars πŸ˜€

I must really grant it to Vijay TV here. They must have gotten a really good TRP rating that day. I should say I was partly a contributing member. Word of mouth advertisement. Please see A on TV (he might come for a few seconds – one among 100s of kids! πŸ™‚ ) Aaah the vanity of motherhood!! The network ran teasers – my parents & of course I was very pleased to see a close up of A in the teaser!! πŸ˜€ All riled up to watch the show on 13th, I came back from work early. Switch on the television to find that the cablewala had cut power. All we could see were black and white dots with that crazy noise!! Calls flew past asking if anyone could record the programme for us. Alas, I must say I did not see the programme. Aaarti said that A did appear for a few seconds which made me write “A got his 2 secs out of his 15 minutes of fame!” as my status message.

I must say here that A, Aaarti, my parents & I had fun dressing A up as lil Krishna. I must also add that A milked every bit of appreciation from one and all (attention seeker that he is becoming!!! I must get wary of that πŸ™‚ ) I am still trying to find out if that programme is available on YouTube or anywhere else. I did read somewhere that the dressed up Krishnas were not given that much of a coverage on the programme.

Would I do something like this again!? Honest answer, I don’t know. I would think twice before registering him for such TV shows though. May be I am not being fair to the network, but I really feel they should have anticipated things, made better arrangements especially since the show involved so many kids.

Anyways after the “jetlag” of my long slumber, I guess am back with this post of a happening almost a week back πŸ™‚ . I don’t know though if I will post as regularly but will definitely try. Thanks to some of you who did enquire after me. That really made me feel good, felt like -hey even I am missed!!!

PS: Please do let me know if any of you have a recording of the show or can find out a link for me to just at least watch! Please!! Pretty please…with cherries on top!! πŸ˜€ If anyone one wants to see A in his costume (and already has not πŸ˜‰ ) please do mail me, will try mail you a pic πŸ˜€ As I said earlier, vanity of motherhood!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜‰