Torn…

This evening, A was having his piano classes. The tutor comes home to teach. Since I was not feeling too well, I was lying down in my room. I was waiting for the classes to get over, so I could head over to meet with a friend (taking A along with me.) Then change of plans, I decided to make some gulab jamuns. Needed sugar. A has now graduated to doing small chores like running across to the nearby grocery shop. I yell out his name…no answer!!

I ask my dad, he says he was just here. Mum (stuck in her room said she didn’t know). I yell out his name, my neighbour comes to me & says he was walking down the road. My mind was in absolute turmoil. Torn between anger and anguish. Where the devil is he? I got into my jeans & tee. Walked around the corner to the nearby children’s play area. I did not see him. I walked around the neighbourhood…no luck!! I was in tears – half in anger & half in worry!!! I had my mobile with me. It rings…call from home. A speaks to say he is home now. I rush home relieved. The moment I saw the boy standing next to my mother, I was happy & furious!!!! I interrogated him! He says he was in the play area playing hide &seek. Apparently when I went there, he was hiding!!! Gave him a earful on how he must inform one of us & then go. I was so scared that I lost him!!! 😦

This was terrible!! As I was telling a close friend of mine….I am tired & done with all drama in life. I don’t want great things, I just want peace. If at all my heart races, it must be because of having worked out hard (yeah right!!!….still 😉 ). No more being torn like this!!!! I know this is wishful thinking…. *sigh*

Throughout this ordeal, was thinking what kids put parents through!!! I can totally understand love them so much but want to strangle them emotion!! 🙂

Prejudice, Fear & Resilience against Terrorism

I was chatting with a friend of mine. He is a smart, really friendly person who told me about an experience of his. I asked him to write about it; he being a bit lazy 😉 asked me to pen this down.

Imagine Peace
courtesy: The Pixel Garden Blog

He was travelling on a bus from Ooty to Bengaluru some time after the terror attacks. His neighbour on the bus was a Muslim who was holding a plastic bag on his lap. For some reason, my friend says he felt very uncomfortable. He had this sense of fear; prejudice was clouding his thoughts. He felt unsafe and could not sleep a wink through out due to this manifestation of paranoia. When he was telling me about this incident, he felt sheepish. He realised how much he was stereotyping the co-passenger.

How many of us do this? Stereotyping, generalising…call it what you may. All of us know it is not right. Not just in the wake of these terrorist attacks but life in general. It is definitely more prevalent with many of us categorising Muslims as terrorists. There will be many a Muslim for every irrational fundamentalist who abhors such acts as much as we do. The reality though is, we as a herd end up categorising every sect. Muslims do this, Christians do that and so on and so forth. Not all of us are non-violent Mahatmas nor all being hatred spewing Hitlers.

I just hope that we do not fall into this trap. We must be cautious but not paranoid! Let us spread love not hatred ( I sound like a hippie from the 70s probably…but it is what is required.) We must learn to co-exist. Violence is certainly not the answer. Let us not get the terrorists get to us, cloud our judgements, make us live in fear & prejudice. We must not let them win. Condemn these terrorists; we are a lot stronger!

Taking the cue from Nikhil (usingthe image used by him : thanks! ) who was tagged by lifeofhues; I will light a candle.

Edit: Anyone interested in lighting the candle sure is welcome to do so and is much appreciated. Thanks Imp’s Mom for reminding me to do this! 🙂

Suffering!

A very good friend of mine had this as her status message “Fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself”.

How true!! And especially to me, right now!! Me and my worst case scenarios that I imagine. Felt the quote is very apt.

The more I interact with people, the more I realise that most of us have the same fear….of suffering. Does knowing this fact make any difference right now? Not really? Momentarily though, I feel enlightened! 🙂 Don’t know how much it is going to help me let go of this fear!