Reminder!

It has been 14 years since I was handed this bundle of joy ! A second year teen now!! He had never been trouble. Not the whiny bawling baby. He was a friendly kid. He showed signs of empathy even as a wee baby! Many occasions to prove just that.

As years went by there were times friends used to kid saying wonder who the parent is!! I wonder where I got this mature understanding young man! He loves hugs! He takes care of me!! When I am unwell he is there making sure I have my medicine, giving me hot packs, bringing my food. Yeah I wonder who the parent is too!!

So why is this post titled “Reminder”?? Well just the other day I was in my room working as usual and A was right in the living room watching a movie. Happens to be the old “Baby’s day out”. I had to scream out asking him to keep the volume down. Then I noticed through the closed door. Laughter. It was a child’s laugh. The joy of innocence! He was laughing out loud & that reminded me that he is still a child. He acts very mature but he is a child. One who loves being cuddled, pampered, loved. As much as I wish he always retains this in him, I know that it will be his maturity that will be cancerous.

This birthday of A’s I wish for him to always retain this child in him which can let him laugh , let him trust a little more, let him love with all his heart. I wish all the pain he has endured and hurt he may have to face( yeah I know he will) doesn’t affect him too much. I hope he realises he always has a few of us right there for him come what may! In his corner pushing him & wishing the best for him!

I will not say don’t grow too soon! I will say never let go of that child in you! I may not say it so often or so loud – I do love you

PS: I keep kidding with him saying “hey A! I don’t like you”. He has his watch engraved with a little correction. It says “I don’t like you I love you ~ Amma”

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Another year

This is the time of year when all of is look back at the year past; balance sheet it.
I can honestly say I didn’t want to, yet here I am doing so. Well that is me.
I must start off knowing my dear A is doing well! Apart from usual childhood bouts of cold/flu/fever; he has been my rock. One huge plus! Work front after a few bumps here and there is going on alright. Learning curve right now is huge but loving it.
Relationships have always been a sore point for me. This year is no exception. Not getting into details must say that it has been terrible. Especially the last few months. I wish I could erase it out. I have hope that it is not ruined completely. Hope they do say is the eternal spring of life. I definitely need it to carry on. I wish the very best to this particular person ( and despite all others saying otherwise I do believe/trust/ love; hope this is not a closed chapter but just a pause). I came across more hypocrites, judgemental people who claimed not to be so, kind hearted souls through this turmoil. I care less about society now than ever. I care even less about money which I found seems to be the driving force for many!!
I don’t know even remotely what is in store for me. I do wish for things but the realist in me kicks in and tells me to get a grip, tells me this is it; if at all it would only get worse.
A year older, none the wiser. Still in search and now don’t even know what I am in search for. God (if in existence) help me. More so my kid!
I do plan to take a few steps to change my life ( a little or drastic depends on the perspective I guess). For those who have endured me through not just this year but longer – thank you. Sheer gratitude for just staying & being there. Those who have left I hope it is not a goodbye forever. I do not prescribe to the “move on” attitude. If someone has crossed that line of being a friend from an acquaintance; it is not to say goodbye at another point. Life is too short to hold grudges. I am not perfect and don’t ever claim to be. In this short time why be hateful?
I would rather want to remember the good things about someone than their shortcomings.
This post has been out down with a heavy heart. Here is to hoping that few of my wishes take shape in this coming year.

Judgements

Of  late, I have been wondering how one is so easily judgmental. It does not matter that all the facts are not known. From the limited knowledge, one just assumes and makes an opinion of another person. So much so, uses phrases like “I hate”.

I personally have always felt that “hate” is a very strong word. I don’t think I have ever hated anyone so far. Hope I never do. To every person, there are two sides. Condemning one because of what one hears is pretty extreme. I try see the goodness in most people. If I don’t know the person well enough, I just would hope that one has a reason for what one does. 

There are many who say “oh you must so hate P”. I want to say here that – no, I don’t hate him. I don’t love him but that does not mean I hate him. We had our differences. I thought we were sorting them out. For reasons known to him, he decided to call it quits despite having a kid. He, according to most of us, has made a bad choice. According to him, it is right. Only time can tell. Do I need to hate him? I don’t like the consequences of the choices he made on my life. I am left to pick up pieces that sometimes don’t even exist. 

The worst part of it all, is being judged. I am told I must not care. Repeatedly I say that it hits you hard at times. All these negative vibes. The ranting or the crying does not necessarily mean you don’t have a grip about the situation. It does not mean that you are weak or not so strong! 

Being told that there are people who are worse off than you does not make your pain go away. One could feel sorry for the other person it still does not make your troubles/worries disappear. I just feel it is mean to think “Oh I am better off than the other person whose troubles seem worse!” Each plays with the cards one is dealt with in his/her way. Advice welcome; whether it is suitable or not is for that person who is going through the situation to decide. Yelling or swearing or comparing does not help in any way. Percentages of who are worse off than you also brings forward who are better off than you – right? So, instead of feeling supposedly better, one  might feel worse too! 

It just boils down to how one gets so judgemental. Please do not unless you know every bit of the story from all angles. Do not decide to hate a person from what one hears. It is better not to have an opinion than to form the wrong ones. Am not going to say don’t hate , spread love. Though a little tolerance does go a long way. After all we are all here for this lifetime. Why not make it pleasant for all those around us? 

On the personal front, despite my rants; I am trying my damnedest to get somewhere. I still believe in love. I hope to write about more happy and positive happenings that I & A experience.

Self-love day

A friend of mine had this as his status message

Love yourself before you love anyone else…Happy Valentine’s day!

Coincidentally as I was bloghopping, from Teeni‘s I hopped on to Java Queen’s to this post about Self-love day. While you are it, please do wish Java Queen a very happy birthday. Thanks Teeni for letting us know here 🙂

So, here goes 🙂    

HAPPY SELF-LOVE DAY!! Feb. 13th & 14th, 2009 Here’s how the whole thing works:

1.) You’re gonna grab yourself a banner.

2.) You’re gonna post that banner and then tell us all something that you really like love about yourself (thus, the “self-love” portion of our program).

3.) Ask or beg your readers to post one thing that they too love about you!!! If your blog friends are nice, you shouldn’t have to beg…much.

4.) Enjoy yourself and spread the love by doing this on your blog! If you want to, drop me a line or a trackback so that I know you participated too!

 

What do I love about myself? I love my honesty, my faith in love and that I can laugh even when things are pulling me down 

So now what do you love about me? 😀 

What do you love about yourself?

How to Blacklist the trolls?

Having read this entry, I decided I should put this up for those who might want help in doing the same.

Here is how.

1. Click on the Settings link (upper right corner of page, next to Users link)
2. Click on Discussion link at top of page

3. Scroll down to Comment Blacklist box, paste the IPs in it. You could also type in words (words in its content, name, URL, e-mail, or IP.  It will match inside words, so “press” will match “WordPress”.) you find offensive too

4. Don’t forget to hit button on the page. 🙂

Let us all do away with trolls 🙂

Edit

To add the image to your side bar:

1. Click on Design link on the settings page.
2. Click on the Widgets link.
3. Add text from the list of available widgets.
4. Then click on the edit link provided in the text widget that is added to your sidebar
5. Copy paste the following to
<span><img src=”http://mirrorcracked.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/trolls.jpg&#8221; align=”center”><br/></span>
6. Click on the save changes button.

Aparna is the best :)

Been tagged by Aparna Gonibeed.

The rules of the tag

1. There are no rules.
2. Tag 6 people to do this Q&A and leave a comment on their blogs saying, “Aparna is the best!”

I have done the latter half of the second rule by using it as a title. Happy Aparna? 🙂

What do you do when..

– You see a man (or woman) making a pass (trying to woo / flirt / impress) on a woman (or man) you like?

Don’t know really. Depends on whether the guy responds to the pass 😉

– Some one you like, is not attracted to you?

What can one do in this situation? Check some one else out? 🙂 Again don’t know.

– You are attracted to some one, but both of you are in two different cities?

Been there! Done that! Distance in relationship sucks big time. Run up huge phone bills; more sometimes on just arguments! Waiting to meet up. Horrible!

– You are reading a book, and your best friend wants to borrow it and can’t wait for you to finish reading, ‘coz he/she has been looking for it for all their life?

I think it generally happens the other way round usually :D. If it did happen this way, will probably buy my friend a copy; or just finish my book real soon.

– You help plan his / her career, and then, they go on to achieve it, leaving you behind, alone..

Will be happy that person made it.

– Insert (and add) a new question(s) / statement(s)..

Aparna Gonibeed, Answer the questions! 😀

Hmm., To pass on the tag. That is tough. Well, whoever wishes to take this one up! Please link it back, so we all can read the answers 🙂

Love

I was reading up on Lalita Mukherjea. This was her last post. May her soul rest in peace.

The post evoked a lot on my mind. Just felt that though I want to hear the “I love you”, I realise that “Because I love you” is cruel.

Just facing something that I wish I did not. I am not talking about my divorce here. I am infact just waiting for the papers to sign and get it over with. I want someone to get in touch with me and that person is not responding…the excuse “Because I love you…” I want to say the same words to that person, I want to say that “because I love you, I want to be there for you!”. That person does not wants me to get hurt. I understand that, I just want to convey that by excluding me, I am hurt.

So, though there have been times when “Because I love you” has been stifling, this one situation right now takes the cake in my personal life. Maybe it does the same in that person’s life too. I hate this huge gap in communication!

I did not write any post for quite sometime as I did not want to appear down and depressed. I did not want to write about this person; hoping I could write something positive about talking/meeting. Just that today, I think have hit rock bottom (as I had written here don’t think I ever will hit it though!)…I feel like there is no point in anything! Do I dare hope that I can communicate saying…Yippee!! I am back in touch!?!?