Dose of laughter for the day!

People tend to see the best of you because you carefully choose which thoughts to express and which to keep quiet. But your calculated responses are not motivated by your desire for popularity today. You have an agenda and want to make things happen. Whatever you can do to get others to support you in your efforts helps your cause. However, you can take this tactic too far by focusing so intently on everyone else’s behavior now that you lose sight of your original goal. Zig Ziglar wrote, “The real opportunity for success lies within the person and not in the job.”

This is my horoscope for the day!! Had me LOLing, seriously laughing out loud !! The first few lines had me in splits. I could not even imagine me choosing thoughts carefully! Calculated responses?!? Me??? Those who know me, know I just shoot out the first thought that comes into my mind. No filters there! I have not learnt anything over the years either. Next point that was hilarious was the word “agenda”….me?!? really?? I am also truly oblivious to other’s behaviour. I could (can) never guess their “agenda”.  This wonderful quality of mine has put me in spots, changed my life even (for better or worse…still to be seen). Learning to just ignore completely, not react at all!

Now that is out of my system! 🙂 Been meaning to pen stuff down but that moment passes each day! Outrage on somethings, disgust, amusement, wonder…quite a gamut of emotions that I wanted to write on. “News” seemed to bring all that out – international & national.

What is happening closer to home? At home? Nothing at all. It is business as usual. Home, work, back home and back to work! Repeat. Fun, frustrating moments with A thrown in. Latest was his denial to get his hair cut! *Rolling eyes*. He was testing the boundaries. Mine apparently is the shortest!! Grandparents said nothing. Excited he comes and tells me “finally my teacher noticed my hair and said she could only see that and not my face!” Should I roll my eyes or realise that my son has started acting out his teens?!? I do have loads of fun pulling his leg ( too many occasions to recount!), watching movies with him. Frustrating parenting moments when he just does not study!! God only knows what he is going to do in his exams next week!

Talking of parenting, it makes me think it is a damned if you damned if you don’t situation. You draw lines, be strict it is a no no. You yield and give in it is a no no. Being balanced while playing the good & bad cop is a damn tough job!!! Kudos to all those who pull it off. I sure want to give up -way too many times.

I realise that I have gone into a shell not just on my blog here but in the world outside too. I am keep to myself. This is not as it says in my horoscope of the day saying I am guarded or calculative etc.  Have quite a few of the list of emotions that are going around ( 23 emotions you feel but can’t explain )

Current emotion: Enough about women’s day already!! I guess I am not so much of a designated day person. Equality is not about being treated special. It is not about quotas. It is about having the same playing field, proving oneself. It is definitely about recognition of the work; not because one is a woman but that the work speaks for itself!!

Why is there no middle ground in anything? Why is it always extremes? Intolerance to any view, and the attitude of it is my way and only my way!

Alright I have rambled on enough for today! My ruminations as random as they are go on – until the next time I decide to pen some of them down!! If someone has come over here, and has actually been patient to read through this ; please do leave a note so I could thank you and be awed by your patience 🙂

 

 

 

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Why oh why?!

I was going from one channel to another on the radio. Sick of ads saying – special for International Women’s day!! Do we really need one in this day and age? If so, why & where?
UN.org says this for why women’s day… Impatient optimists at Bill & Melinda Gates foundation say this on why still?
Yes, I understand there are many places where uplifting of women is needed. No arguments there at all.
Me personally, I don’t want a special day. I want to just be treated on par. I seriously do not want a women’s bank as proposed by the FM in the budget. My reaction was like for what joy?! I do not want special quotas anywhere. I must get something because I am worthy of that. I want to prove myself for the skills & knowledge I have. Not because I am a woman! If I apply for a ration card, and am posed a question “who is the head of the family?”; if I respond saying that I am….I want the guy there to accept it – not retort asking who my father is or husband is!!!! I am not an object of sex to be gaped at, but a fellow human being to be seen at with respect that I would proffer to the other.
Don’t get me wrong….on a lighter note, yes I want someone special to treat me as someone special 😉 not just on this day…but every day!!! 😉 Just waiting for that someone who will treat me as an equal and consider me special 😉
I find that people are making this a huge joke!! Special offers, discounts, contests, walks, special messages to the special women, remembering women who have excelled in their fields. Excuse me…if we are special on this day, we are special everyday!! Those women who are achievers need to be acknowledged all the time; not just on this particular day. Alright, let all this be done…how much of the proceeds made through these sales actually go to say save a girl child from being aborted/murdered?!
I know it might sound like blasphemy but I do not support celebrating womanhood on one particular day. Do we stop being women on other days?!
I want a society where it is no big deal for a woman to walk into a pharmacy, with men around or not…and ask for a sanitary napkin without being embarrassed. Why even ask for a condom (ok…I know considering the circumstances here in India that is a stretch for now! 🙂 ). Isn’t having periods a part of being a woman?! Why whisper?!?!
We have come far in terms of equality for women and oppression. Voting, Representation, leadership, education. I know we have a long way to go to be really equal (may be when it is not considered blasphemy when I say let the guy take on the girl’s name and vice versa…after all they are getting married to each other! 🙂 )
I wish people understand the significance of the day than make it so commercial that it actually loses its value.
Think I have ranted enough! 😀 Do let me know how many share my views. Am open to hearing opposing views too….

PS: I found that international men’s day is on November 19th! How many knew that?!?!

Abuse – not just physical!

Aarti & Ritu have tagged me on this contest by Indusladies.com.

The details of the contest can be read here.

I do not consider myself a pro at writing, never attempted fiction (don’t think I will! 🙂 ). So,  I decided to type in my thoughts on the abuse that women go through. Some of them every  single day of their life!

There are a number of forums/ laws (not enough some say…still) that deal with physical or  sexual abuse of women or girls. Immense media coverage is given on finding any such  instance that goes with proof.

I am not going to write about that. I do not discount the agony or pain felt by those women at all but I want to pen my thoughts on a different kind of abuse. Mental/Emotional abuse. This is not visible through bruises or scars. Outwardly, the female population that goes through this kind of abuse would appear fine. They even go about their day in a routine (happy?!?) fashion. So, I feel that this abuse is neglected. Mental abuse cannot be proven either; albeit it exists and is prevalent.

How many of us (though given the essentials and more) have heard the words – “you are a girl, you cannot do this!” or “Being a girl/woman, how could you……? ”  and many more such queries?!? Women/girls are not stopped from anything even, but it gets ingrained that certain tasks cannot be done by us women/girls! Some of us rebel (and are picked up on that!) but most of us women just shut up & never say a word. Take the brunt of it all silently. Slowly start believing that what is said is true. Worse, the same women even start advocating/perpetuating those false views!!!

There must be so many women all around who have boundaries drawn, boxes moulded around that they never must step out. It is blasphemy to think otherwise. The norms set by the so called society are to be followed. Even professionally successful women undergo quiet mental abuse. Once you are done with work, it is the duty of the woman to be home – cook, clean, tend to the home/kids. Friends – what friends? How can one have a life outside of the home? Slowly the woman who had a big circle of friends loses touch with them. The same circle grows smaller (other women undergoing the same problem or some who just give up reaching out all the time) and it slowly ends up being your home is your world! Is the woman happy about it? No! but she is bounded by constant words around her that this is what is expected of her. She changes as a person even! Is this abuse visible? No! People just see a woman taking care of her home & family. She appears happy. She might even have a successful career (as long as it does not interfere with the husband’s plans).

Words hurt way more than a bludgeon. The scars fade, black and blue bruises go away but the ill-spoken word lasts forever etched in memory. Slowly eating away the confidence, the person who the woman really is, getting “moulded” according to what is expected of her! Bouts of depression, anger haunt her though she cannot express them. If at all she does, it is labeled PMS or some such thing (oh her mood swings!! is quite a common phrase! ). In countries like India, mental health is not even a factor that is considered. Therapy is unheard of even in the educated sections of society. A visit to the psychiatrist or psychologist – will be hushed up like a murder has been committed. Eventually even those who attempt it, to avoid being ostracised end up stopping therapy. With not many takers, the quality of the therapists also for want of a better word – sucks!

Right from childhood, this kind of abuse starts. Who made all these rules? Who decides on what the boundaries are? Where do all those boxes come from?! Every single aspect of life is scrutinised. What a girl wears, who she speaks to, how she walks, what she studies, what she eats/drinks, how she must look – each and every minute thing!! It gets to them at some point or the other. Even the woman who would say that she has never undergone any kind of abuse, I am sure, would have been told what/how to do something at some point or the other. Some are oblivious even to this kind of abuse – blessed I must say. There are those who want to break free & just cannot. Many suffer in silence, just end up accepting this as a way of life even!

I don’t know if I have expressed what I want to. I am glad that many are ready to fight for their rights. I just wish that women do not just quietly accept anything and everything just to maintain peace at home. I wish they speak up. As long as one’s actions does not hurt anyone, nothing is wrong. It might not be what the society normally deems acceptable! One must be free to live life the way one wants to, express one’s ideas freely.

I must say that this can easily be a unisexual post in many ways. I feel it is more appropriate for women as these norms/rules and this kind of abuse is a lot more against them!

I am supposed to tag 3 other bloggers. So here goes, I tag

• Muse
• Ms Chill pill
• Suks