Mother’s Day today. It is not a huge deal at my place. My mum used to tell me, “do you need a mother’s day to remember / love your mum?” or that it is a western concept or commercialising love and the likes.Â
Though, I just thought that it might be an ideal day to do a tag about motherhood by IHM! 🙂
What do I not like about being a mother? There are days when I wonder why I had A. Look at him as a complication or a liability. Would I give up on him? No, never! He is the one who brings a smile (a genuine one) in everyone’s face here at home. A source of joy.
So onto the tag… what do I no like about being  a mother?
- Worrying about how A would turn out. (Especially with a mum like me 🙂 and no one else)
- Worrying about what the impact of this divorce is going to be on him.
- Terrified about whether I would be able to provide for him (anything and everything that he needs and knowing what he would!)
- Being blamed for disciplining him.
- Worrying about spoiling him rotten if I did not discipline him (Where is that line?)
- Making him eat right being such a chore (Why can’t he just know what and how much to eat?! )
- Seeing him being so sensitive at this tender age, wishing he would not grow up too soon.
A is young. I guess I have a lot more to go through. This is probably just the beginning. The list might grow longer. It might lose a few points. This is a love -hate kind of thing. I love being a mother, having A in my life. I also hate it. It is difficult to pin point how, why and all that. The balance keeps shifting. Don’t know when it would settle or if it would. All said and done, I love my son and think that people who have decided to stay away from a gem like him are the biggest fools on earth!!
There you go IHM. I don’t know if I have done justice to your tag but I just wrote what came to my mind as usual. It might be a little too blunt but it is just how I feel! 🙂
Random Ruminations 
I think raising children must be the most stressful job ever! My Mom said that you never stop worrying about your children even after they start having their own.
It is such a huge responsibility and you are doing it on your own. I can’t begin to imagine how hard it must be. But then the happiness a child brings to your life is worth every gray hair parents grow from it, I bet!
Take care.
I am told it is a life long job and the pay is the happiness of the kids. Wisdom from my grandma 🙂
Motherhood is such a huge responsibility and u r justified to feel the way u do.
I hope so Reema. Though there are days when I am told that I am so not motherly or whatever!
You are not alone Apar; it is quite a balancing act and the fears?…never ending it seems.
That is what amma and my grandma say…motherhood is definitely a never ending worry trail!!
you’re doing a good job..! all parents are like that.. caring..
don’t worry too much he’ll turn out great. 🙂
Only time can tell, right Oorja?
Judging by all that I’ve heard about A, I must say you are doing a great job. 🙂
Thank you Ms CP 🙂 Well, you sure are gonna keep hearing my many cribs 😀 and stories of A
Apar this is such an honestly done tag! Reading all your concerns made me teary eyed. I have similar doubts, all parents do! I think I should add some of these to my list too. We just do our best – guided by our concern for them. ..but can we ever be sure?!
But with so much thought, and so much concern going into it – know that you are a great mom.
Thanks for doing this tag so sensitively.
Thank you IHM! I can only say that right now I am one hell of a scared mother!!
Being a mom is such a high pressure job!!! Your a good mom Apar 🙂
and we love you and A!!
Thanks Aaarti!! 🙂
Apar, I can relate with this. Also look at the sleeping child and wish I could somehow stretch him and make him grow up fast//Wish that time would fly and they would grow up///Wish time would stand still//Look at my rapidly dwindling collection of jewelery and wonder how I would finance them for the next big expense//hate the world for me being in this situation//They would hug me and I would change that and love the world, …. It goes on!
Just remember it turns out well in the end. You are a good Mom and he is a good sensitive kid, and no kid hates the Mom just because she got divorced. Kids are loving and far more tolerant that we give them credit for. Just hang in there, girl, this too shall pass.
Oh yes Ritu!! There are times when I wish A was all grown up! There are those I wish I never had him! Don’t know when this will pass!
Mothers are special! Mothers are the first form of God for any human being.
Well, me on the throngs of atheism and theism; don’t really know if I believe in God or not! Whether I am an atheist or an agnostic or a true believer!!! That itself being a question – equating mums to God!! Hmm! Though I am sure I could never think of not having my mum around. She has been a pillar of strength all through my life. As much as I have complained about her, fought with her; she is there for me despite even her health. I have written earlier that I hope I am to A – half of what she is to me! That definitely is a tall order.
Wow!! after a really long time, I have gone on in a reply to a comment which is a short one 🙂
Apar, you have me in tears gurl… and you are being so honest here… I dont think I can ever be this honest!
U are a good responsible mum…don’t forget that… and u have been tagged, yet again…hopefully this one will bring smiles …
Will check out the tag Imp’s mum 🙂
God need not always be the Supernatural all powerful being. God can be just a human who loves you, helps you and supports you no matter what. So, a Mother can be a God because of all these qualities.
Keep the definition of God simple and you will see God everywhere. You need not be an atheist, theist or agnostic or any of a cultist. Find God through simplicity not by complicated explanations.